1 00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:10,360 Southwark Crown Court where Charles Ingram... 2 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,446 Army Major Charles Ingram and his wife Diana 3 00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,907 arriving at court today to face the cameras. 4 00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:16,617 Inside, Ingram is to hear claims 5 00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:18,702 that he teamed up with a coughing accomplice, 6 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:21,830 alleged to be college lecturer Tecwen Whittock, 7 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,958 to cheat his way to the £1 million jackpot 8 00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:29,129 on ITV's hit quiz show, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. 9 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,453 Oh, hello. 10 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,564 I believe we're charged with co-conspiracy. 11 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:06,667 It's nice to meet you both 12 00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:09,294 at last. 13 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:13,966 Yes, the accused look, and to all intents and purposes, are 14 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:17,094 respectable middle-class, middle-aged, 15 00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:19,179 middle England men and women. 16 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:23,350 At the end of the day, this was just a game. 17 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:27,354 A television quiz show enjoyed by millions, 18 00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:29,606 but creating in a select few 19 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,733 this unhealthy obsession 20 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:36,071 that spilled over into an audacious heist. 21 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,323 Who wanted to be a millionaire? 22 00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:41,076 My God, these three certainly did. 23 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:44,204 You are facing a 50-50, 24 00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:47,332 guilty or not guilty. 25 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:50,485 The Crown believes the answer to be self-evident. 26 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:54,656 They are guilty as charged. 27 00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:06,101 Today, one home in three throughout the British Isles 28 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:10,272 sits spellbound several hours a day before a magic cube. 29 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:13,400 A new public service is about to be launched 30 00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:15,485 over the rooftops of old London. 31 00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,779 Here it is, ladies and gentlemen, a holiday of a lifetime. 32 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,699 You've won a marvellous 14-day holiday for two. 33 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:23,827 You've got a radiogram and a nice easy chair to sit on. 34 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,912 Bern is the capital of... Switzerland. 35 00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,998 Edinburgh. Scotland. 36 00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:32,169 This wonderful microwave oven and a superb range of kitchen equipment. 37 00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:33,253 Let's play Bullseye. 38 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:36,882 For £50. Who was beaten by Martina Navratilova 39 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,468 in the 1987 finals? Steffi Graf. 40 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,553 Welcome to Mr and Mrs. 41 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,638 We've got two happily married couples back there, 42 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,724 ready and willing to hand over their nuptials to me. 43 00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,851 It's nice to see you, to see you... 44 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:49,920 Nice! 45 00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:04,494 Hi, sir. 46 00:03:04,519 --> 00:03:06,578 David Liddiment. I start today. 47 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:07,622 What department? 48 00:03:07,647 --> 00:03:10,582 Uh... I think, uh... 49 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,834 Well, I suppose all of them. I'm the new Director of Programmes. 50 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:16,171 Oh! Stand by your beds, best behaviour, new boss is here. 51 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,048 God, I hate changes of leader. 52 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:20,133 And them wanky new ideas. 53 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,219 David! Claudia. Head of Entertainment. 54 00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:23,262 Hi. Claudia, hi. How are you? 55 00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:27,432 Surprise, surprise, it's Claudia who gets to him first. 56 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,518 You look... I look... I look like hell. 57 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,646 Just had baby number two, that's my excuse, anyway, so... 58 00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:34,731 Uh... Time for a quick catch-up? 59 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,884 Walk and talk? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 60 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,030 I'm interested in events. 61 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,116 Event television. 62 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:47,244 Why do the BBC always trounce us in the big stuff? 63 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,662 Diana's funeral a couple of weeks ago, 64 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:51,081 one of the most watched programmes in TV history, 65 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:54,543 and obviously, tragic as that was, goes without saying... Tragic. 66 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:55,961 ..people still want to gather as a nation 67 00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:58,380 to experience something big together. 68 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:02,884 I'm just not sure the classic light entertainment of old fits into that. 69 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:03,928 OK. 70 00:04:03,953 --> 00:04:07,055 Well, we've always gotten our game show formats from America. 71 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,099 So time for something new. 72 00:04:08,124 --> 00:04:10,892 No, time to invent our own. 73 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,520 The classic TV game show can be 74 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,439 the must-see TV thingy that you're looking for. 75 00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:18,358 I'm not just saying that to save my department's skin. 76 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,652 Claudia, I've got Martin Bashir coming in this morning to discuss... 77 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:23,738 Very important, but if you just let me bring some people in... 78 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,824 I have one. I think I have one. 79 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,909 It's an old one. The last gaffer rejected it. 80 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,828 Brilliant. Why is it an event? 81 00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:32,105 Because they're going to give away £1 million. 82 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:41,465 The idea then would be that the higher up the mountain you climb, 83 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:45,635 the more your time would deplete, the way that oxygen might deplete. 84 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,220 No. Stop trying to complicate it. 85 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,806 It's simple. Questions and answers. 86 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:52,934 Paul, for crying out... This isn't 1955. 87 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:56,062 Everyone else is making shows where you spy on strangers in a house 88 00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:58,148 or throw them out of helicopters. Yeah. Crap. Desperate. 89 00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:00,233 This is the show we're going to pitch. 90 00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:01,318 Re-pitch. 91 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,361 We could set it on actual mountain. 92 00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:05,447 Well, like a little one. 93 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,532 Like in... 94 00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:08,576 Wales or... 95 00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:10,660 Look, right, I'm with Paul. 96 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,746 It's what we did on the radio show with Chris. 97 00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,831 Answer a question, you get it right, you double it, 98 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:17,959 so you keep doubling, so the higher up you go, 99 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:21,087 the more you can earn, but the more you can lose. 100 00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:22,131 People love it. 101 00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:23,715 But the networks don't. 102 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,967 That's why they all turned it down the first time. 103 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,344 Fusty old game show. 104 00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:31,348 It's not a game show, it's a quiz. 105 00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:34,309 That's the joy of it. 106 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,771 People love a good pub quiz. 107 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:41,942 A uniquely British invention combining our two greatest loves, 108 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:45,095 drinking and being right. 109 00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:49,241 Nope. Fine. You write it down, then. 110 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:50,284 Ever the teacher, you do it. 111 00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:53,245 That's not how you spell that. Question three. 112 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,497 The Living Room War was the nickname 113 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,582 given to which conflict 114 00:05:57,607 --> 00:06:02,128 perceived to be the first truly televised war of the 20th century? 115 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,838 Suez? Korean? 116 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:04,882 Maybe it is Suez. No, it was too early, 117 00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:06,967 we didn't have a TV during Suez. 118 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:09,052 Vietnam. It's Vietnam. 119 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:10,096 Are you sure, Dad? 120 00:06:10,121 --> 00:06:13,223 Uh... Who here got down to the last four on Fifteen To One, 121 00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,308 toughest show on television? 122 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:16,352 Vietnam. 123 00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:18,436 Diana. Diana? 124 00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:20,730 Telephone. Diana. 125 00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:23,316 Guess who for 12 points. 126 00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:26,778 "I say, darling, is that the time? Deary me. 127 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,863 "In the army, one must always be on time. 128 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:29,907 "Golly." 129 00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:32,033 Oi! No phone calls. Cheating. 130 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:35,120 I'm not cheating. We don't cheat. 131 00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:37,205 Charles, it's Tuesday, 132 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,249 pub quiz night, my one night... 133 00:06:38,274 --> 00:06:40,709 No, hello, darling. No, no, no, I'm not asking you to come home, 134 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,461 it's just that Polly wants you to hear her piano piece before bedtime. 135 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:45,547 She's got all the way through the first bit. 136 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,699 I'll hold the phone out. One second. One sec. 137 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:52,847 Go. Go. 138 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:13,725 Question four, in which country was the Rosetta Stone found in 1799? 139 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:19,956 That's all I've got. 140 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,000 That's all she's got. 141 00:07:21,025 --> 00:07:23,084 That's all she's gotten. 142 00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,128 That's all for now, darling. 143 00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:26,212 Oh, well, tell her well done. I'll be home soon. 144 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,323 Lots of love. Next question... 145 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:35,598 It's exciting! 146 00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,682 Brand-new school, new children, new friends. 147 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,768 It's just memorising all the names. 148 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,853 They'll need a system. 149 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,938 Can you call the landlord tonight about the boiler? 150 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,900 Last thing we needed was cold showers this morning. Sure. 151 00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:50,195 You feeling all right today? Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. 152 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:53,323 It's a bit of a step down, isn't it, training other officers? 153 00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,408 Well, it's a step around. It's a step different. 154 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:58,203 It's nice to be near your dad and Adrian, isn't it? 155 00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:00,622 Yes, although you should have seen him last night, 156 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,707 so competitive, he drives me crazy. 157 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,793 But you're quite competitive too in a lovely way. 158 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,878 Nothing wrong with a bit of ambition, Charles. 159 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,963 So, it's multiple choice, 160 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,049 which has never been done on telly before, ever, 161 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:14,177 and you get to see the question and four possible answers 162 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,428 before you decide to play. 163 00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,305 Right, so it's easier, then? 164 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,391 No, if anything, it adds to the torment. 165 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:22,519 And there's no clock, they get as long as they want. 166 00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:23,562 Well, where's the tension? 167 00:08:23,587 --> 00:08:25,647 Because we're watching people potentially 168 00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:29,484 making life-changing decisions. 169 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,779 And we'll just sit there and watch them go through it all, 170 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:35,031 the whole gamut of emotions, waiting. 171 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:38,159 And then there's also the matter of 172 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,245 the largest game show prize in the history of television. 173 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:43,373 Right, yeah, so you're gonna bankrupt us all. 174 00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:45,291 Oh, there's nothing to worry about. 175 00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:49,629 It would take a very unique sort of person to risk going all the way. 176 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:50,673 That fear is built into the show. 177 00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:52,757 Well, let's try it. Play it with you. 178 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:54,843 Now. 179 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,094 Sure, why not? Love a game. 180 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,971 And we thought, to make things more real, 181 00:08:57,996 --> 00:09:00,056 you could put your own money in. 182 00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:02,142 £250, say? 183 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,185 For the psychology, you know. 184 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,295 Oh, you did, did you? 185 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,398 Right. Yeah. 186 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:11,551 You think I just carry £250 around with me? 187 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,697 Certainly close. 230. 188 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,807 Claudia, do you have, um... 189 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:22,996 What, you want me to put in... 20 quid, I'm putting in 230. 190 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:25,081 Yeah. Yeah, OK. 191 00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,125 Let's play... 192 00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:28,209 ♪ Dooo... 193 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,627 What was that? 194 00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,337 That's the.. 195 00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,422 the lights going down. 196 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,466 Something along that. 197 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,384 OK. Question one, 198 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,636 what would an aborigine do with his wurlie? 199 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:41,765 Would he, A, eat it, 200 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:43,349 B, hunt with it, 201 00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,934 C, play it, 202 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,353 D, live in it? 203 00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:50,106 Now, you have three Helping Hands or something... 204 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,191 We're working on... 205 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:55,320 You can phone a friend, you can halve it, 206 00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:57,781 so there's a 50-50 chance, or you can ask the audience. 207 00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,491 Right, the halve it option. 208 00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:00,534 C, play it, 209 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:03,661 or D, live in it. 210 00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:04,746 Sod it, live in it. 211 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,790 Is the right answer. 212 00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:08,875 Oh! Yes! Double. 213 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,126 You know, I... 214 00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:12,879 I really thought it was that one. Yeah. 215 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:16,174 Question three, who was the reigning monarch 216 00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:19,302 when Britain lost the war of independence with America? 217 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,387 Was it... George II. George III. 218 00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:22,972 No, no, George II. 219 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,516 Right, do... George III. 220 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:25,558 Do you want the options? 221 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:26,602 Yeah, give me the options. 222 00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:29,729 Question four. Now, this is to double your money again, 223 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:30,773 or you lose it all. Mm-hm. 224 00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:33,900 In feet, what is the length of the Titanic, 225 00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:34,943 663, 226 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:35,986 773, 227 00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:38,071 883, 228 00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:40,156 993? 229 00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:44,327 Well, I'll, um... 230 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,412 I'll use my last life boat. 231 00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:49,374 Helping Hand, although, actually, that's... 232 00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:50,625 Anyway, uh... Ask the audience. 233 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,669 They'd each be given a keypad to vote. 234 00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,754 Why don't you just ask them out there, if you like, 235 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,865 as a sort of audience? OK. 236 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,053 Oi! Listen, everyone, a sec. 237 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,304 Uh... 238 00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:06,224 How long is the Titanic in feet? 239 00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,309 Is it, uh... What were the bloody options again? 240 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:09,353 663. 663. 241 00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:11,437 773. 773. 242 00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:12,689 883. Yeah, I've got it now, thanks. 243 00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:14,591 883 or 993. 244 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:18,736 Well, come on, the great and the good, have a guess. 245 00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,847 Right, well, you're all fired. 246 00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,368 Bloody useless. 247 00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:27,645 I'll stick. 248 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,231 Keep my money. 249 00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:34,377 Yeah. 250 00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:36,462 Yeah, there is something in it, 251 00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,548 but... 252 00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:42,719 if people do win more than we get from the phone lines, 253 00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:43,786 we're screwed. 254 00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:51,060 I'll go halves on the risk with you. 255 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:52,104 With ITV. 256 00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:56,299 I'll absorb 50% of the liability myself. 257 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,487 I want a pilot 258 00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:04,641 and we'll see. 259 00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,829 Don't worry, in for a penny, in for a... 260 00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,915 million pounds. 261 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:14,000 I, uh... 262 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:17,128 need to go and have a very awkward conversation with my wife. 263 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,047 It'll be fine. 264 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,256 Fine. 265 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:23,384 Let's just hope the first people to phone in for the show are... 266 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,495 well, idiots. 267 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:47,408 I hope you're finding it peaceful here, Major Ingram. 268 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,495 Beautiful part of the world of course, Wiltshire. 269 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,623 Lovely walks. Absolutely. Yes. 270 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:54,667 Plenty of space for the kids to, um... 271 00:12:54,692 --> 00:12:57,460 And we have a cat now. Uh... 272 00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:58,836 for the family to... 273 00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:00,922 Well, yeah, so... And you were in Bosnia? 274 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:01,966 Yes, sir. 275 00:13:01,991 --> 00:13:04,050 Please. Oh, thank you. 276 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:06,135 Bit of a gear shift, though, desk work. 277 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:10,306 Well, I wanted a bit more normality, I suppose, for my family, 278 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:11,350 and I'd, um... 279 00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:14,477 I'd seen it with my own, you know. 280 00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:17,605 When I was growing up, my father in the air force 281 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,691 and my brother in the navy, and, uh... 282 00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:22,819 Although... Well, my mother does something altogether different, 283 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,947 she designs sets for plays. 284 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:28,032 Ah, the theatre. My, my. 285 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,493 And you were never tempted to tread the boards yourself? 286 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:34,288 No, no, God, no. Military life's a much better fit. 287 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,332 It's, uh... 288 00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:39,502 Yeah, well, it's wholly away from the limelight, isn't it? 289 00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,796 A uniform anonymises you 290 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:45,783 and puts you in the service for something else, something greater. 291 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,886 Still, doesn't mean one can't enjoy 292 00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:52,015 a bit of the old theatrical razzmatazz, eh? 293 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,100 ♪ I am the very model Of a modern Major General... 294 00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:55,144 Gilbert and Sullivan. 295 00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:57,770 My other used to play it for us on the piano. 296 00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:01,065 ♪ I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical... 297 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:04,527 ♪ From Marathon to Waterloo In order categorical 298 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:05,571 Yeah. 299 00:14:05,596 --> 00:14:09,741 ♪ I'm very well acquainted too With matters mathematical 300 00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:13,911 ♪ I understand equations Both the simple and quadratical 301 00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:18,124 ♪ About binomial theorem I am teaming with a lot o' news 302 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:23,296 ♪ With many cheerful facts About the square of the hypotenuse 303 00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:27,300 ♪ I'm very good at integral... ♪ I know our mythic history... 304 00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,509 ♪ I answer hard acrostics... 305 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,428 Oh, dear, no. 306 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,346 What's gone wrong? We're on different verses. 307 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,599 I think you jumped to the King Arthur bit. 308 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:36,851 Well, that is the next bit, isn't it? I don't think it... 309 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,979 But it doesn't matter, we can go from your verse if... 310 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,090 No, no, the moment's gone now. 311 00:14:49,559 --> 00:14:51,620 Blimey. 312 00:14:51,645 --> 00:14:53,205 Maybe I should be paying for lunch, then. 313 00:14:53,230 --> 00:14:54,748 Oh, Chris, don't be silly. 314 00:14:54,773 --> 00:14:58,919 My treat. You've put your own house on the line, Paul. 315 00:14:58,944 --> 00:15:01,546 Is this a game show or a Mafia racket? 316 00:15:01,571 --> 00:15:03,090 It's fine. 317 00:15:03,115 --> 00:15:05,175 As long as we get the revenue, which we will, 318 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,260 from people phoning in, which they will. 319 00:15:07,285 --> 00:15:11,431 Otherwise YOU, Paul Smith, have to put your own money... 320 00:15:11,456 --> 00:15:12,682 I mean, if someone... 321 00:15:12,707 --> 00:15:15,602 A million quid, my God. 322 00:15:15,627 --> 00:15:18,730 Not if you, Chris Tarrant, agree to present the show. 323 00:15:18,755 --> 00:15:22,067 A guaranteed hit. 324 00:15:22,092 --> 00:15:23,944 People will love it. 325 00:15:23,969 --> 00:15:27,072 You can sign them a cheque yourself. Your name. 326 00:15:27,097 --> 00:15:28,116 Oh, me? 327 00:15:28,141 --> 00:15:29,533 So I'm liable now too? 328 00:15:29,558 --> 00:15:31,243 As a gesture, that's all. 329 00:15:31,268 --> 00:15:33,328 Look, we'll film a pilot, test the idea. 330 00:15:33,353 --> 00:15:34,938 At least do that. 331 00:15:36,481 --> 00:15:38,542 Come on, how can you not want to be a part of this? 332 00:15:38,567 --> 00:15:40,627 It'll be... 333 00:15:40,652 --> 00:15:42,712 fun. 334 00:15:42,737 --> 00:15:47,926 ♪ You take me over the rainbow And up to Cloud Nine 335 00:15:47,951 --> 00:15:52,305 ♪ I'm flying high Like a bird in the sky... ♪ 336 00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:56,268 Welcome back to Cash Mountain. 337 00:15:56,293 --> 00:15:58,353 OK, contestants... 338 00:15:58,378 --> 00:16:01,481 Go tighter. Stand by... 339 00:16:01,506 --> 00:16:02,525 'You will hear three beeps. 340 00:16:02,550 --> 00:16:05,652 'After the third beep, four possible answers will appear. 341 00:16:05,677 --> 00:16:08,780 'The fastest to select the right answer 342 00:16:08,805 --> 00:16:11,908 'will be next in our hot seat to play for £1 million.' 343 00:16:11,933 --> 00:16:15,036 OK, here we go. Tighter, OK. 344 00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:20,250 Which of these countries has a Union Jack on its flag? 345 00:16:20,275 --> 00:16:22,027 'Four possible answers.' 346 00:16:26,531 --> 00:16:28,091 Look, before you say anything, I know. 347 00:16:28,116 --> 00:16:29,634 I'm holding my hands up. 348 00:16:29,659 --> 00:16:30,678 The pilot looks a mess. 349 00:16:30,703 --> 00:16:34,848 The design is all wrong. Mess is a bit harsh, but it's too... 350 00:16:34,873 --> 00:16:35,892 Happy clappy. 351 00:16:35,917 --> 00:16:38,185 It's too Saturday night, jazz hands, it's all tits and teeth. 352 00:16:38,210 --> 00:16:40,061 Can we still say tits and teeth? 353 00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:42,147 But we'll find it, David, trust us. 354 00:16:42,172 --> 00:16:45,275 Please. Something harder, darker. For the drama. 355 00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:46,319 We want the audience to be... 356 00:16:46,344 --> 00:16:48,403 All right, listen. Listen. 357 00:16:48,428 --> 00:16:50,514 This is Jeff, our scheduler. 358 00:16:52,432 --> 00:16:53,825 Schedule. You... 359 00:16:53,850 --> 00:16:56,578 What do you mean? Do you mean that we're on? 360 00:16:56,603 --> 00:16:58,830 We're gonna try and strip it. 361 00:16:58,855 --> 00:17:00,916 Lift seven days out of our autumn schedule 362 00:17:00,941 --> 00:17:04,920 and run it every night for a week at peak times. 363 00:17:04,945 --> 00:17:06,171 Event television. 364 00:17:06,196 --> 00:17:08,215 Strip a game show? 365 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,300 Peak times, same time every night of the week? 366 00:17:10,325 --> 00:17:12,385 There's something in it. 367 00:17:12,410 --> 00:17:13,637 In the DNA of the game. 368 00:17:13,662 --> 00:17:15,513 Watching it. 369 00:17:15,539 --> 00:17:17,599 It's really exciting. 370 00:17:17,624 --> 00:17:20,727 But yes, it looks shit right now, so fix that, 371 00:17:20,752 --> 00:17:23,855 and fast. Oh, and the title's crap. 372 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,799 It needs a new name. 373 00:17:32,222 --> 00:17:34,282 Oh, my God! Oh, my... Oh, my... 374 00:17:34,307 --> 00:17:35,326 Oh, my God. 375 00:17:35,351 --> 00:17:37,077 Ha-ha-ha! 376 00:17:37,102 --> 00:17:38,478 Whoo! Ah! 377 00:17:39,521 --> 00:17:40,540 Drama. 378 00:17:40,565 --> 00:17:42,624 Tension. 379 00:17:42,649 --> 00:17:45,585 Drama in-built into everything. 380 00:17:45,610 --> 00:17:47,837 Including the chair. 381 00:17:47,862 --> 00:17:49,256 Remember, um... 382 00:17:49,281 --> 00:17:50,966 Mastermind? 383 00:17:50,991 --> 00:17:52,384 That set was designed by a chap 384 00:17:52,409 --> 00:17:54,828 who had been interrogated by the Gestapo. 385 00:17:57,622 --> 00:18:01,393 I want audio speakers inside the seat, 386 00:18:01,418 --> 00:18:03,478 vibrating with heavy sound, 387 00:18:03,503 --> 00:18:06,606 pulsating up through the contestant. 388 00:18:06,631 --> 00:18:09,734 Gah-gung, gah-gung, OK? 389 00:18:09,759 --> 00:18:11,820 Next, the lights. 390 00:18:11,845 --> 00:18:13,905 Darker. 391 00:18:23,315 --> 00:18:26,418 ♪ Who wants to be a millionaire? 392 00:18:26,443 --> 00:18:28,503 I do. 393 00:18:33,408 --> 00:18:35,802 Hello and welcome to tonight's edition 394 00:18:35,827 --> 00:18:37,887 of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. 395 00:18:37,912 --> 00:18:41,016 All you have to do is call this number. 396 00:18:41,041 --> 00:18:45,186 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, Thursday at eight, ITV. 397 00:18:57,766 --> 00:19:00,160 Come on, it's about to start! What's about to start? 398 00:19:00,185 --> 00:19:03,288 That new quiz show that's been plastered everywhere. Adrian's here. 399 00:19:03,313 --> 00:19:05,707 Adrian, your brother? I thought it was our night in. 400 00:19:05,732 --> 00:19:09,169 Oh, sorry, it's just a thing that we do together, that's all. 401 00:19:09,194 --> 00:19:12,297 Come on, it's fun. 402 00:19:12,322 --> 00:19:13,341 Hello. 403 00:19:13,366 --> 00:19:15,425 Adrian? 404 00:19:15,450 --> 00:19:17,510 Um... I brought pizza. We already have pizza. 405 00:19:17,535 --> 00:19:20,638 Your message said, "No pizza." Yes, "No pizza." 406 00:19:20,664 --> 00:19:23,767 Yes, as in, "We don't have any pizza, no pizza, so bring pizza." 407 00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:27,937 No, no. "Pizza, we already have lots of pizza, don't bring pizza." 408 00:19:27,962 --> 00:19:29,189 Stop saying pizza! 409 00:19:29,214 --> 00:19:32,108 We're about to make television history. 410 00:19:32,133 --> 00:19:38,365 For the first time on UK TV, we have a top prize available of £1 million. 411 00:19:38,390 --> 00:19:41,868 'And it could be won here tonight. 412 00:19:41,893 --> 00:19:44,621 'No tricks, no traps. 413 00:19:44,646 --> 00:19:48,817 Contestants can leave here tonight with big cash prizes. 414 00:19:51,945 --> 00:19:54,214 Two, tight in. 415 00:19:54,239 --> 00:19:57,158 Four, pull back. 416 00:20:03,415 --> 00:20:05,308 I'm gonna take the money, Chris. 417 00:20:05,333 --> 00:20:06,518 Just there. 418 00:20:06,543 --> 00:20:08,812 God. SO dull. 419 00:20:11,756 --> 00:20:14,859 It gives me SO much pleasure 420 00:20:14,884 --> 00:20:19,030 to give you a cheque for £64,000! 421 00:20:19,055 --> 00:20:22,158 Come on. Why isn't it taking off yet? 422 00:20:22,183 --> 00:20:23,202 Where's the bloody tension? 423 00:20:23,227 --> 00:20:27,038 It's fine. It's fine, Paul, it just needs bedding in. 424 00:20:27,063 --> 00:20:28,415 Be patient. 425 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,584 As Graham leaves with 64,000 smackeroonies. 426 00:20:31,609 --> 00:20:34,671 Good heavens. £64,000. 427 00:20:34,696 --> 00:20:36,756 That's ridiculous. 428 00:20:36,781 --> 00:20:38,842 Shh, yes, we know. 429 00:20:38,867 --> 00:20:40,927 Come on. 430 00:20:40,952 --> 00:20:41,971 I'm not sure yet, you know. 431 00:20:41,996 --> 00:20:44,080 This all seems a bit dramatic. 432 00:20:45,832 --> 00:20:47,183 Let's see who got there quickest. 433 00:20:47,208 --> 00:20:50,520 The next fastest finger is Rachel Da Costa! 434 00:20:50,545 --> 00:20:51,896 Come on, come on. 435 00:20:51,921 --> 00:20:54,482 'So, Rachel, what would you do if you won £1 million?' 436 00:20:54,507 --> 00:20:59,696 I would clear all mine and my fiance's debts, 437 00:20:59,721 --> 00:21:03,199 sort out our business, buy a house and get married. 438 00:21:03,224 --> 00:21:04,909 'You could get married tomorrow morning.' 439 00:21:04,934 --> 00:21:08,037 The business isn't in a situation where we could do it at the moment. 440 00:21:08,062 --> 00:21:09,081 God, bless her. 441 00:21:09,106 --> 00:21:14,294 Well, you are only 15 questions away from winning £1 million, 442 00:21:14,319 --> 00:21:17,422 'so let's play...' Just insane. 443 00:21:17,447 --> 00:21:18,466 For £100... 444 00:21:18,491 --> 00:21:20,550 For £1,000... 445 00:21:20,575 --> 00:21:21,594 For £8,000... 446 00:21:21,619 --> 00:21:25,263 Oh, uh... Humphrey Bogart's cafe owner in Casablanca is... 447 00:21:25,288 --> 00:21:26,806 Sam, isn't it? "Play it again, Sam." 448 00:21:26,831 --> 00:21:28,892 No. Common misconception. 449 00:21:28,917 --> 00:21:30,477 It's Rick. 450 00:21:30,502 --> 00:21:32,020 Definitely, the cafe owner. 451 00:21:32,045 --> 00:21:33,063 Rick. When did you last see it? 452 00:21:33,089 --> 00:21:35,148 I've never seen it, but, you know, 453 00:21:35,173 --> 00:21:37,233 you learn things, encyclopaedias, books. 454 00:21:37,258 --> 00:21:39,319 Might be nice to actually watch the films now and again. 455 00:21:39,344 --> 00:21:42,447 Don't have the time. Yeah, yeah, tricky. 456 00:21:42,472 --> 00:21:45,575 'I'll go for Rick. 'Is the correct answer! 457 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,660 'You've just won £8,000!' 458 00:21:47,685 --> 00:21:50,788 For £16,000, 459 00:21:50,814 --> 00:21:56,002 which English county has a border with only one other? 460 00:21:56,027 --> 00:21:57,045 Devon, 461 00:21:57,070 --> 00:21:58,087 Norfolk, 462 00:21:58,112 --> 00:21:59,131 Cornwall, 463 00:21:59,156 --> 00:22:00,215 Kent? 464 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,258 God, look, she's shaking. 465 00:22:02,283 --> 00:22:04,385 Why? Cos she wants to get married. 466 00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:06,429 Phone my dad. Your dad? 467 00:22:09,582 --> 00:22:10,975 'Hello?' 468 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,685 Jack, uh... it's Chris Tarrant here. 469 00:22:12,710 --> 00:22:14,771 'Hello.' Hello, Jack. 470 00:22:14,796 --> 00:22:16,689 We've got your daughter live on the show. 471 00:22:16,714 --> 00:22:18,608 She has £8,000. 472 00:22:18,633 --> 00:22:20,860 That wedding's getting a little bit closer, 473 00:22:20,885 --> 00:22:23,112 but she's not quite there yet... 474 00:22:23,137 --> 00:22:24,531 Move in closer. 475 00:22:24,556 --> 00:22:25,740 Closer. 476 00:22:25,765 --> 00:22:27,825 ..so no pressure. 'I understand.' 477 00:22:27,851 --> 00:22:31,454 The next voice you hear will be Rachel's. 478 00:22:31,479 --> 00:22:33,540 Rachel, talk to your dad. 479 00:22:33,565 --> 00:22:36,668 Which English county has a border with only one other? 480 00:22:36,693 --> 00:22:38,795 Devon, Norfolk, Cornwall, or Kent? 481 00:22:38,820 --> 00:22:40,838 I have no idea. 482 00:22:42,615 --> 00:22:43,967 Oh, my God. 483 00:22:43,992 --> 00:22:46,261 'I'm sorry, Rachel, I can't help you on geography. 484 00:22:46,286 --> 00:22:48,137 'Um... Give me again.' 485 00:22:48,162 --> 00:22:51,266 Devon, Norfolk, Cornwall or Kent. 486 00:22:51,291 --> 00:22:53,351 'Devon, Norfolk...' 487 00:22:53,376 --> 00:22:56,479 Dad, help me. 488 00:22:56,504 --> 00:22:59,607 'Take the eight grand, Rachel.' 489 00:22:59,632 --> 00:23:02,735 I'll take the money. 490 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,821 Oh. Let's give her a big hand, ladies and gentlemen. 491 00:23:04,846 --> 00:23:06,906 £8,000! 492 00:23:07,975 --> 00:23:10,410 I mean, £8,000 is a very large amount of money. 493 00:23:10,435 --> 00:23:12,120 That wedding just got a little bit closer. 494 00:23:12,145 --> 00:23:15,248 Oh, Dad! 495 00:23:15,273 --> 00:23:17,333 Uh... 496 00:23:17,358 --> 00:23:19,419 Just before you go, 497 00:23:19,444 --> 00:23:23,590 uh... suppose you had answered, 498 00:23:23,615 --> 00:23:25,675 what would your answer have been? 499 00:23:25,700 --> 00:23:27,260 Cornwall. 500 00:23:29,871 --> 00:23:31,264 Pfft! 501 00:23:31,289 --> 00:23:32,974 Oh, Rachel. It's not funny. 502 00:23:32,999 --> 00:23:35,059 I'm sorry. You would have won £16,000. 503 00:23:35,084 --> 00:23:37,145 I'm sorry, but look, what am I saying? 504 00:23:37,170 --> 00:23:38,396 Oh, my goodness. 505 00:23:38,421 --> 00:23:40,273 It works. 506 00:23:40,298 --> 00:23:42,358 Oh, grow a pair, would you? 507 00:23:42,383 --> 00:23:43,610 We've got a hit on our hands. 508 00:23:43,635 --> 00:23:45,486 Ha-ha! 509 00:23:45,511 --> 00:23:47,572 Well, if you want to be in with a chance to play, 510 00:23:47,597 --> 00:23:49,682 all you have to do is call this number. 511 00:24:06,366 --> 00:24:08,426 All right, Claudia. Hit me. 512 00:24:08,451 --> 00:24:11,554 Hit you? Kiss you, marry you, more like. 513 00:24:11,579 --> 00:24:13,640 We got 9 million. 514 00:24:13,665 --> 00:24:16,125 9 million viewers! 515 00:24:26,010 --> 00:24:28,262 Nothing to say you can't try more than once. 516 00:24:31,391 --> 00:24:33,451 'Hello.' Hello. 517 00:24:33,476 --> 00:24:36,579 'Hello and welcome to Celador and the Who Wants To Be...' 518 00:24:36,604 --> 00:24:39,399 Hello and welcome to tonight's edition of... 519 00:24:41,818 --> 00:24:43,945 Paul Smith. 16 million. 520 00:24:47,907 --> 00:24:51,177 Walking away with a cheque for £8,000! 521 00:24:51,202 --> 00:24:53,262 £64,000! 522 00:24:53,287 --> 00:24:58,476 £125,000. Oh, my God. 523 00:24:58,501 --> 00:25:01,604 I'm going on! I'm going on the show! 524 00:25:01,629 --> 00:25:03,690 Oh, my gosh! Bravo! 525 00:25:03,715 --> 00:25:05,441 How many times did you have to call? 526 00:25:05,466 --> 00:25:06,818 I don't know. 527 00:25:06,843 --> 00:25:09,946 50, maybe? Anyway, and you can talk. 528 00:25:09,971 --> 00:25:10,990 Anyway, 529 00:25:11,015 --> 00:25:13,099 do you wanna be my guest? 530 00:25:21,441 --> 00:25:24,544 194 calls I made to get here. 531 00:25:24,569 --> 00:25:25,795 Arm and a leg it's costing me. 532 00:25:25,820 --> 00:25:28,715 Well, that's nothing. I did over 300. 533 00:25:28,740 --> 00:25:30,800 You just need a system, that's all. 534 00:25:30,825 --> 00:25:31,844 Not willy-nilly. 535 00:25:31,869 --> 00:25:33,928 Did you know that they publish the call volumes 536 00:25:33,953 --> 00:25:34,972 on the website? Website. 537 00:25:34,997 --> 00:25:37,056 Yes. You know, a few of us fans 538 00:25:37,081 --> 00:25:40,184 are starting to share a little bit of intel. 539 00:25:40,209 --> 00:25:43,146 You know, information here and there. 540 00:25:43,171 --> 00:25:46,274 If you're serious about this, and you have to be serious. 541 00:25:46,299 --> 00:25:48,526 I'm serious. Uh... 542 00:25:48,551 --> 00:25:51,654 We're serious. 543 00:25:51,679 --> 00:25:52,698 What? 544 00:25:52,723 --> 00:25:54,782 I could give you the number of someone who... 545 00:25:54,807 --> 00:25:56,909 sort of... 546 00:25:56,934 --> 00:26:00,897 helps quiz fans onto the show. 547 00:26:06,277 --> 00:26:09,405 'Put these days of the week into alphabetical order.' 548 00:26:10,448 --> 00:26:14,619 Sunday, Wednesday, Monday, Thursday. 549 00:26:16,704 --> 00:26:19,474 And the person who was fastest was 550 00:26:19,499 --> 00:26:21,893 Maggie Pierce in four seconds! 551 00:26:21,918 --> 00:26:23,978 Well done, my darling. Come on up! 552 00:26:26,089 --> 00:26:28,149 And the winner is... 553 00:26:28,174 --> 00:26:29,193 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire! 554 00:26:29,218 --> 00:26:31,277 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire! 555 00:26:31,302 --> 00:26:32,695 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire! 556 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:35,448 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. 557 00:26:35,473 --> 00:26:36,532 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire! 558 00:26:36,557 --> 00:26:38,576 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. 559 00:26:40,686 --> 00:26:42,747 19 million. 560 00:26:42,772 --> 00:26:43,998 19 million! 561 00:26:44,023 --> 00:26:46,918 'That's one third of the population, Paul.' 562 00:26:46,943 --> 00:26:48,336 Thank you, Claudia. 563 00:26:48,361 --> 00:26:49,879 Paul! 564 00:26:49,904 --> 00:26:52,131 Reception just said the Americans are here. 565 00:26:52,156 --> 00:26:54,258 Jesus Christ, it's ABC, 566 00:26:54,283 --> 00:26:56,302 which is Disney. 567 00:26:56,327 --> 00:26:58,387 It's owned by Disney. 568 00:26:58,412 --> 00:27:00,473 Basically, Mickey Mouse is coming up the stairs. 569 00:27:00,498 --> 00:27:01,517 Could you just... 570 00:27:01,542 --> 00:27:02,625 a little cool. 571 00:27:09,882 --> 00:27:12,677 Mr Smith. 572 00:27:18,224 --> 00:27:19,243 No, he didn't. He actually knelt? 573 00:27:19,268 --> 00:27:22,411 No, he did. He knelt on the floor. 574 00:27:22,436 --> 00:27:25,498 We've just sold entertainment to the Americans. 575 00:27:25,523 --> 00:27:27,583 That is entertainment to the Americans. 576 00:27:27,608 --> 00:27:29,669 The Americans! 577 00:27:29,694 --> 00:27:30,736 Hey-hey! 578 00:27:33,865 --> 00:27:35,925 'The game show Who Wants To Be A Millionaire 579 00:27:35,950 --> 00:27:39,053 'has now been sold to multiple territories in the US. 580 00:27:39,078 --> 00:27:40,097 'CEO Michael Eisner said, 581 00:27:40,122 --> 00:27:42,181 ' "Who knew that the fate of ABC 582 00:27:42,206 --> 00:27:44,809 ' "would be saved by a little British game show?" 583 00:27:44,834 --> 00:27:46,352 'It's helped the ABC network 584 00:27:46,377 --> 00:27:50,022 'leap from fourth in the ratings war in the United States to first. 585 00:27:50,047 --> 00:27:51,566 'The millionaire show, 586 00:27:51,591 --> 00:27:54,694 'which has attracted audiences of 19 million in the UK, 587 00:27:54,719 --> 00:27:57,847 'where it's presented by Chris Tarrant...' 588 00:28:11,402 --> 00:28:13,462 'Hello.' 589 00:28:13,487 --> 00:28:15,381 Hello. Paddy Spooner? 590 00:28:15,406 --> 00:28:17,658 Mr Spooner. 591 00:28:36,598 --> 00:28:39,367 You weren't followed? You came alone? 592 00:28:39,392 --> 00:28:42,829 Alone? No, you didn't say to come alone, I've brought my kids. 593 00:28:42,854 --> 00:28:44,581 You what? 594 00:28:44,606 --> 00:28:45,982 I've got my kids outside. 595 00:28:47,067 --> 00:28:49,319 You've brought your bloody kids. 596 00:28:51,196 --> 00:28:52,239 Do you know who I am? 597 00:28:54,324 --> 00:28:57,260 You're Paddy Spooner. 598 00:28:57,285 --> 00:28:58,470 You got in the chair three times, 599 00:28:58,495 --> 00:29:01,598 even though the rules say you can only sit in the hot seat once. 600 00:29:01,623 --> 00:29:03,683 No, three different versions. 601 00:29:03,708 --> 00:29:04,727 Three countries. 602 00:29:04,752 --> 00:29:07,854 Australia, Ireland, UK. 603 00:29:07,879 --> 00:29:09,940 They don't check. 604 00:29:09,965 --> 00:29:12,050 There's a lot they don't check. 605 00:29:13,969 --> 00:29:16,221 I've been working with some people. 606 00:29:18,306 --> 00:29:23,495 An underground, sort of, community has sprung up. 607 00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:28,708 Fans of the show that have grown into an unlikely resistance 608 00:29:28,733 --> 00:29:30,794 in the quiet little villages of England. 609 00:29:30,819 --> 00:29:32,879 The perfect place to plan our attack. 610 00:29:32,904 --> 00:29:34,965 Um... Attack what? 611 00:29:34,990 --> 00:29:37,050 The show, of course. 612 00:29:37,075 --> 00:29:39,511 Breaking into the show. 613 00:29:39,536 --> 00:29:41,221 In the world of quizzing, 614 00:29:41,246 --> 00:29:44,349 the man who has the questions may be king, 615 00:29:44,374 --> 00:29:46,434 but the man who has all the answers 616 00:29:46,459 --> 00:29:47,478 is God. 617 00:29:47,503 --> 00:29:50,981 To the nearest metre, how long is the Humber Bridge? 618 00:29:51,006 --> 00:29:53,733 ..is the Mississippi River? ..the Titanic? 619 00:29:53,758 --> 00:29:55,819 Of the thousands of people that call the hotline, 620 00:29:55,844 --> 00:29:58,947 the show selects a random 100 numbers 621 00:29:58,972 --> 00:30:01,032 to call back with a question 622 00:30:01,057 --> 00:30:04,869 that's all but impossible to get exactly right. 623 00:30:04,894 --> 00:30:08,331 How many months in total did Queen Victoria reign for? 624 00:30:08,356 --> 00:30:09,375 Months? 625 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:10,625 Oh, heck. 626 00:30:10,650 --> 00:30:12,502 What the makers hadn't predicted was 627 00:30:12,527 --> 00:30:15,839 that people would do what they tend to do. 628 00:30:15,864 --> 00:30:18,758 Hello, Paddy? It's Maggie. 'Talk to each other.' 629 00:30:18,783 --> 00:30:20,343 The "closest to" question is... 630 00:30:20,368 --> 00:30:25,015 The damn fools are using the same "closest to" questions 631 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:28,143 in rotation time and again. 632 00:30:28,168 --> 00:30:30,937 All you need is a network. 633 00:30:30,962 --> 00:30:32,313 Or... 634 00:30:32,339 --> 00:30:34,399 as we call ourselves, 635 00:30:34,424 --> 00:30:36,509 The Syndicate. 636 00:30:39,637 --> 00:30:42,574 So, first trick is, when you get the call back, 637 00:30:42,599 --> 00:30:44,826 pretend you're not who you are. 638 00:30:44,851 --> 00:30:45,870 Pretend you're not in. 639 00:30:45,895 --> 00:30:47,954 This gives us time to prepare. 640 00:30:47,979 --> 00:30:51,082 Hi. I'm afraid Adrian Pollock 641 00:30:51,107 --> 00:30:53,168 won't be in until later tonight. 642 00:30:53,193 --> 00:30:55,295 Could you call back then? 643 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,338 They always say yes, 644 00:30:57,364 --> 00:30:59,424 then you call me. Hello, Paddy? 645 00:30:59,449 --> 00:31:01,509 And I... 646 00:31:01,534 --> 00:31:03,595 mobilise. 647 00:31:03,620 --> 00:31:06,723 And if you know of any other potential clients 648 00:31:06,748 --> 00:31:09,851 that live too far away for me, 649 00:31:09,876 --> 00:31:12,979 I can always dispatch a separate Syndicate member 650 00:31:13,004 --> 00:31:15,065 from one of my regional hubs. 651 00:31:15,090 --> 00:31:20,278 How many months in total did Queen Victoria reign for? 652 00:31:20,303 --> 00:31:23,448 I'm going to say 780. 653 00:31:23,473 --> 00:31:25,492 Once you're in the chair, 654 00:31:25,517 --> 00:31:29,662 there's a final highly bespoke service 655 00:31:29,687 --> 00:31:30,706 that we offer 656 00:31:30,731 --> 00:31:32,816 on your Phone A Friend. 657 00:31:34,901 --> 00:31:36,961 There's a room.. 658 00:31:36,986 --> 00:31:41,132 ..in London where we gather. 659 00:31:41,157 --> 00:31:44,260 The finest pub quizzers in the land 660 00:31:44,285 --> 00:31:48,456 secretly, silently, in solidarity. 661 00:31:49,499 --> 00:31:51,559 Now, you give the producers 662 00:31:51,584 --> 00:31:55,396 one of a dozen special numbers we have around the country, 663 00:31:55,422 --> 00:31:58,858 all diverted here, 664 00:31:58,883 --> 00:32:01,986 to this one phone. 665 00:32:02,011 --> 00:32:04,072 I want to phone a friend. 666 00:32:04,097 --> 00:32:07,200 All right. Uh... Who you gonna call? 667 00:32:07,225 --> 00:32:09,285 My cousin Geoffrey. 668 00:32:09,310 --> 00:32:12,413 'Geoffrey? It's Chris Tarrant here from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.' 669 00:32:12,439 --> 00:32:14,499 Yes? 'I've got your cousin Maggie here. 670 00:32:14,524 --> 00:32:16,584 'I hope you're sat quiet and alone. 671 00:32:16,609 --> 00:32:19,712 'The next voice you hear will be Maggie's. 672 00:32:19,737 --> 00:32:22,841 'Geoffrey, which chemical element is named...' 673 00:32:22,866 --> 00:32:27,554 All we ask is a modest 25%. 674 00:32:27,579 --> 00:32:29,139 Ah. 675 00:32:29,164 --> 00:32:31,182 Well, I... 676 00:32:31,207 --> 00:32:34,310 I'm grateful for all the hints and tips and things, 677 00:32:34,335 --> 00:32:37,438 but I'm not sure whether I would need such... 678 00:32:37,464 --> 00:32:38,523 Well, your services. 679 00:32:38,548 --> 00:32:41,985 I'm sure that when the time comes, 680 00:32:42,010 --> 00:32:44,762 you will make the right call. 681 00:32:51,019 --> 00:32:56,916 And the person who was fastest was Owen Masters in 4.2 seconds. 682 00:33:10,830 --> 00:33:14,976 'Put these vegetables in order of size from smallest to biggest. 683 00:33:15,001 --> 00:33:17,795 'Onion, Brussels sprout, cabbage, pea.' 684 00:33:21,257 --> 00:33:24,360 OK, let's see who got it right in the fastest time. 685 00:33:24,385 --> 00:33:27,514 It's Shelley Price in 3.1... 686 00:33:29,599 --> 00:33:32,702 5.6. Not good enough. 687 00:33:32,727 --> 00:33:33,770 Again. 688 00:33:36,898 --> 00:33:41,044 'And the person who was fastest was Gus Colley in 4.5 seconds.' 689 00:33:49,410 --> 00:33:51,304 Yes! 690 00:33:54,624 --> 00:33:55,643 Camera one. 691 00:33:55,668 --> 00:33:58,770 Right. This is Adrian Pollock. We've seen him before. 692 00:33:58,795 --> 00:34:00,855 It's his fourth time in the Fastest Finger seat. 693 00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:03,983 Fourth? How? Wait, what? 694 00:34:04,008 --> 00:34:06,778 Yeah, I know, something's up. I thought everyone is chosen random. 695 00:34:06,803 --> 00:34:08,179 And yet, there he is. 696 00:34:09,222 --> 00:34:12,325 Well, a coincidence, then, let's hope. 697 00:34:12,350 --> 00:34:16,496 Yeah, but is it me, or have they all started to look a bit... 698 00:34:16,521 --> 00:34:17,540 the same? 699 00:34:17,565 --> 00:34:20,667 All a bit white and well-to-do, 700 00:34:20,692 --> 00:34:23,795 middle classy and Southerny and... 701 00:34:23,820 --> 00:34:25,880 'Adrian Pollock from Wiltshire.' 702 00:34:25,905 --> 00:34:28,174 ..white. 703 00:34:28,199 --> 00:34:31,469 We'll have to tell Chris, cos it'll be weird if he doesn't mention it. 704 00:34:31,494 --> 00:34:34,222 It's four times. 705 00:34:34,247 --> 00:34:36,140 He won't be happy. 706 00:34:36,165 --> 00:34:37,917 Yeah, well, that makes two of us. 707 00:34:39,460 --> 00:34:43,631 'Half of ten, third of nine, quarter of eight, fifth of five.' 708 00:34:45,383 --> 00:34:49,862 Who's the fastest? Adrian Pollock in 4.3 seconds. 709 00:34:49,887 --> 00:34:54,033 Well, at least he can only play the actual game once, 710 00:34:54,058 --> 00:34:56,144 so we'll never have to see him again. 711 00:34:59,272 --> 00:35:00,291 You ready to play for £1 million? 712 00:35:00,316 --> 00:35:03,418 Yeah. Come on, then. 713 00:35:03,443 --> 00:35:05,503 So, um... you won't believe this, 714 00:35:05,528 --> 00:35:08,631 but this is actually Adrian's fourth time in the studio, 715 00:35:08,656 --> 00:35:10,717 but his first time in the chair. 716 00:35:10,742 --> 00:35:11,968 You've been here more than I have. 717 00:35:11,993 --> 00:35:13,845 Well, you know, 718 00:35:13,870 --> 00:35:15,972 some people wanna jump out of planes and I just... 719 00:35:15,997 --> 00:35:18,016 This is what I want to do. 720 00:35:18,041 --> 00:35:20,101 You're a strange, sad, little man. 721 00:35:21,210 --> 00:35:24,814 For 64,000, in the US and Canada, 722 00:35:24,839 --> 00:35:28,443 Labor Day is celebrated in which month? 723 00:35:28,468 --> 00:35:33,681 You've used your 50-50, you've just got left May or September. 724 00:35:36,809 --> 00:35:38,870 I will use my Phone A Friend. 725 00:35:38,895 --> 00:35:40,647 All right. Who you gonna call? 726 00:35:43,066 --> 00:35:44,108 Actually, um... 727 00:35:46,194 --> 00:35:48,254 Actually, uh... 728 00:35:48,279 --> 00:35:50,340 I was going to, um... 729 00:35:50,365 --> 00:35:52,633 I'd quite like to call my dad. 730 00:35:52,659 --> 00:35:54,369 Arthur. 731 00:35:55,953 --> 00:35:59,082 We, uh... Well, quizzes are a family thing, you know. 732 00:36:01,835 --> 00:36:04,103 I bet it's him. Oh, my God. 733 00:36:04,128 --> 00:36:06,189 Must be in the chair. Oh, my God. 734 00:36:06,214 --> 00:36:09,108 You ready? 735 00:36:09,133 --> 00:36:11,903 Is Uncle Adrian going to be a millionaire? 736 00:36:11,928 --> 00:36:13,988 'Hello.' 737 00:36:14,013 --> 00:36:17,492 Well, you have to be really clever for that, so we'll see. 738 00:36:17,517 --> 00:36:20,078 The most extraordinary thing has happened. 739 00:36:20,103 --> 00:36:21,621 You remember your son, Adrian? 740 00:36:21,646 --> 00:36:24,749 Well, he's finally made it into the chair, but he does need your help. 741 00:36:24,774 --> 00:36:27,210 Now, the next voice you hear will be Adrian's. 742 00:36:27,235 --> 00:36:29,962 Adrian, you've got 30 seconds. 743 00:36:29,987 --> 00:36:31,006 Go. 744 00:36:31,031 --> 00:36:33,091 Hi, Dad. In the USA and Canada, 745 00:36:33,116 --> 00:36:36,219 Labor Day is celebrated in which month? 746 00:36:36,244 --> 00:36:38,304 Is it May or September? 747 00:36:38,329 --> 00:36:40,390 Um... 748 00:36:40,415 --> 00:36:42,475 I think... 749 00:36:42,500 --> 00:36:43,518 May. 750 00:36:43,543 --> 00:36:44,561 'If I had to guess.' 751 00:36:44,586 --> 00:36:45,812 How sure are you? 752 00:36:45,837 --> 00:36:47,688 Ooh... 753 00:36:47,714 --> 00:36:48,773 50%. 754 00:36:50,842 --> 00:36:51,884 Thanks, Dad. 755 00:36:53,469 --> 00:36:55,363 When's Labor Day in America? 756 00:36:55,388 --> 00:36:57,073 September, Dad. 757 00:36:57,098 --> 00:36:58,141 Oh. 758 00:37:00,226 --> 00:37:01,269 Oh, no. 759 00:37:02,687 --> 00:37:05,081 Oh, dear. 760 00:37:05,106 --> 00:37:06,482 What a shame. 761 00:37:07,734 --> 00:37:10,837 It's 32 grand, it's great. 762 00:37:10,862 --> 00:37:12,713 Thing is... 763 00:37:12,739 --> 00:37:14,799 The thing is... 764 00:37:14,824 --> 00:37:17,927 it doesn't quite cover the, uh... 765 00:37:17,952 --> 00:37:22,306 debts that the business is running at the moment and I, uh... 766 00:37:22,331 --> 00:37:24,725 Debts? You... 767 00:37:24,751 --> 00:37:27,311 You don't normally have debts, why didn't you say? 768 00:37:27,336 --> 00:37:32,216 Yeah, it's just this dot-com bubble nonsense and... 769 00:37:33,426 --> 00:37:36,696 I really thought I had a chance in that chair, you know. 770 00:37:36,721 --> 00:37:38,806 I mean, I invested a lot! 771 00:37:40,892 --> 00:37:42,977 What are you talking about? 772 00:37:57,575 --> 00:38:00,536 Holy mother of God. 773 00:38:01,746 --> 00:38:03,831 Adrian, what the... 774 00:38:05,082 --> 00:38:07,168 What is this? 775 00:38:14,258 --> 00:38:16,319 Behold, 776 00:38:16,344 --> 00:38:18,429 the game changer. 777 00:38:21,557 --> 00:38:23,993 I made it. Fastest Finger First. 778 00:38:24,018 --> 00:38:25,203 To practice on. 779 00:38:25,228 --> 00:38:27,788 I don't know what to say. 780 00:38:27,814 --> 00:38:29,707 Is this cheating? 781 00:38:29,732 --> 00:38:33,002 Certainly feels like cheating. No, it's giving an advantage. 782 00:38:33,027 --> 00:38:34,278 To myself. 783 00:38:35,321 --> 00:38:38,216 And now to you, Diana. 784 00:38:38,241 --> 00:38:39,967 To carry on where I left off. 785 00:38:39,992 --> 00:38:42,411 But why would she want anything to do with it? Thank you. 786 00:38:48,081 --> 00:38:50,709 Mr Pollock! 787 00:38:52,252 --> 00:38:54,337 Adrian Pollock? 788 00:38:56,631 --> 00:38:58,483 Yes? 789 00:38:58,508 --> 00:39:01,470 When I saw you'd been on four times, I thought, no. 790 00:39:02,679 --> 00:39:04,740 That's not luck, that's something else. 791 00:39:04,765 --> 00:39:06,825 Yeah, but how did you find me? 792 00:39:06,850 --> 00:39:08,076 Electoral register, simple enough. 793 00:39:08,101 --> 00:39:10,996 Yeah, see, that... that's a bit creepy. 794 00:39:11,021 --> 00:39:13,081 Yeah. I have to get on. 795 00:39:13,106 --> 00:39:16,209 I don't know how, I don't know why, this... 796 00:39:17,278 --> 00:39:20,380 ..this impulse took over me, but it's just in me. 797 00:39:20,405 --> 00:39:22,466 I have to. 798 00:39:22,491 --> 00:39:24,551 Please, please help me. 799 00:39:24,576 --> 00:39:26,636 I heard tell amongst the... 800 00:39:26,661 --> 00:39:28,722 the community that you built a machine. 801 00:39:28,747 --> 00:39:31,892 Yes. Well, my sister's got it, she's going on the show too. 802 00:39:31,917 --> 00:39:33,935 Your sister's going? Yeah. 803 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:36,021 OK. Well... 804 00:39:36,046 --> 00:39:38,106 Could you make another one? I'd pay you. 805 00:39:38,131 --> 00:39:40,217 People will pay you. 806 00:39:43,345 --> 00:39:45,405 Let me have your number. 807 00:39:45,430 --> 00:39:49,951 So, in the hot seat, we have Diana Ingram here with... 808 00:39:49,976 --> 00:39:54,790 I do believe I recognise your guest here tonight, 809 00:39:54,815 --> 00:39:55,833 it's your brother Adrian Pollock. 810 00:39:55,858 --> 00:39:57,584 I thought we got rid of you. 811 00:39:57,609 --> 00:39:58,960 But here you are. 812 00:39:58,985 --> 00:40:03,131 Again. Back in the studio for a fifth time. 813 00:40:03,156 --> 00:40:06,635 Still think it's a coincidence? 814 00:40:06,660 --> 00:40:08,345 Call the network. 815 00:40:08,370 --> 00:40:09,388 Now. 816 00:40:09,414 --> 00:40:12,724 Husband Charles, Major Charles, couldn't be here. 817 00:40:12,749 --> 00:40:14,601 He's at work. 818 00:40:14,626 --> 00:40:16,686 Charles and Diana, eh? Why does that sound familiar? 819 00:40:17,755 --> 00:40:20,524 Like a fairy tale. Well, started as a fairy tale, didn't end as one. 820 00:40:21,925 --> 00:40:24,361 Yeah, if you could fit us in tomorrow. 821 00:40:24,386 --> 00:40:26,279 We just... 822 00:40:26,304 --> 00:40:29,224 We do really think we may have a problem now. 823 00:40:32,352 --> 00:40:35,997 For £64,000... 824 00:40:36,022 --> 00:40:41,711 Who wrote the nonsense poem The Hunting Of The Snark? 825 00:40:41,736 --> 00:40:43,797 GK Chesterton, 826 00:40:43,822 --> 00:40:44,841 Hilaire Belloc, 827 00:40:44,866 --> 00:40:46,925 Edward Lear, 828 00:40:46,950 --> 00:40:50,053 Lewis Carroll? 829 00:40:50,078 --> 00:40:53,390 Remember, you don't have to play, you've got £32,000 and that's safe, 830 00:40:53,415 --> 00:40:56,334 whatever, and you do have a 50-50. 831 00:41:00,505 --> 00:41:02,566 Yeah, I'm going to play. Edward Lear, final answer. 832 00:41:02,591 --> 00:41:05,694 Final answer? Yes. 833 00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:07,779 You had £32,000, 834 00:41:07,804 --> 00:41:09,865 you kept back one lifeline. 835 00:41:09,890 --> 00:41:13,018 Desperately wanted to beat your brother. 836 00:41:15,103 --> 00:41:17,163 You've stayed at exactly the same place. 837 00:41:18,232 --> 00:41:20,667 Oh, it was Lewis Carroll. I'm sorry. 838 00:41:20,692 --> 00:41:26,548 But you do go away with a cheque for £32,000. 839 00:41:26,573 --> 00:41:29,175 Not a bad day's work. 840 00:41:29,201 --> 00:41:31,761 A lot of money. That's £32,000. 841 00:41:31,786 --> 00:41:34,890 I mean, that's gonna be SO useful. 842 00:41:34,915 --> 00:41:36,975 I mean, we could... Gosh, we could... 843 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,103 I'm going to give Adrian some of it, 844 00:41:40,128 --> 00:41:42,188 just to help with the business, you know. 845 00:41:42,214 --> 00:41:44,274 Quite a bit of it. 846 00:41:44,299 --> 00:41:46,359 14 grand of it, actually. Right. 847 00:41:46,384 --> 00:41:48,470 Sorry. Are you asking me or telling me? 848 00:41:50,555 --> 00:41:52,616 Right. 849 00:41:52,641 --> 00:41:53,659 Right. All right, yeah. Sure. 850 00:41:53,684 --> 00:41:55,744 Yeah, give him 14 grand. 851 00:41:55,769 --> 00:41:58,705 Hell, give him all of it. Why don't you give him one of the children? 852 00:41:58,730 --> 00:41:59,915 Give him one of the girls. What's going on? 853 00:41:59,940 --> 00:42:03,043 Congratulations, darling. We're giving you to Uncle Adrian. 854 00:42:03,068 --> 00:42:05,195 Go and pack your bags. OK. 855 00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:10,008 What was the line? "There's always three of us in this marriage." 856 00:42:10,033 --> 00:42:12,427 That's not fair. He's my brother, what else am I meant to do? 857 00:42:12,452 --> 00:42:13,471 Pff... 858 00:42:13,496 --> 00:42:15,555 I suppose I should tell you 859 00:42:15,580 --> 00:42:18,683 we're thinking of writing a book about the show. 860 00:42:18,708 --> 00:42:19,727 Just a little simple how-to 861 00:42:19,752 --> 00:42:21,811 with all the hints and tips and things we've learned, 862 00:42:21,836 --> 00:42:23,939 so we can pass them on to new contestants. 863 00:42:23,964 --> 00:42:28,068 Just all that cheating stuff? It isn't cheating. 864 00:42:28,093 --> 00:42:29,111 Yes, but is it cheating? 865 00:42:29,136 --> 00:42:34,324 I've asked Ruth Settle to join us, she's our head of PR at Celador. 866 00:42:34,349 --> 00:42:38,495 This is Nicola Howson, who's our head of press, to do likewise, 867 00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:41,623 because we can all agree that this is a flipping nightmare. I'll say. 868 00:42:41,648 --> 00:42:44,751 I saw it for the first time in a while last night. 869 00:42:44,776 --> 00:42:47,045 No offence. And OK, I'll say it. 870 00:42:47,070 --> 00:42:48,922 It was effing boring. 871 00:42:48,947 --> 00:42:50,340 No offence. 872 00:42:50,365 --> 00:42:52,759 The contestants are all... 873 00:42:52,784 --> 00:42:54,135 They all look and sound... 874 00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,221 Yeah, well, they all talk to one another as well. 875 00:42:56,246 --> 00:43:00,392 It's like they know each other and they're somehow... 876 00:43:00,417 --> 00:43:02,477 helping each other. Is that against the rules? 877 00:43:02,502 --> 00:43:04,562 It's against the spirit of the rules. 878 00:43:04,587 --> 00:43:06,648 They're getting on and they're getting bolder. 879 00:43:06,673 --> 00:43:10,844 Now, we think it almost feels like something's coming. 880 00:43:11,886 --> 00:43:13,446 We could start to cast it. 881 00:43:13,471 --> 00:43:16,032 Most shows cast the contestants based on interviews and... 882 00:43:16,057 --> 00:43:20,203 No, we swore that we'd never do that, we'd keep it democratic... 883 00:43:20,228 --> 00:43:22,122 You're saying it's already been hacked, 884 00:43:22,147 --> 00:43:24,374 that the network's most important asset is under attack. 885 00:43:24,399 --> 00:43:26,292 Well, this stops now. 886 00:43:26,318 --> 00:43:28,545 Find out who's doing it, how they're doing it, 887 00:43:28,570 --> 00:43:31,673 and please, stop them bloody doing it! 888 00:43:31,698 --> 00:43:33,758 I have to go. 889 00:43:33,783 --> 00:43:35,844 Disappear. Run away for a bit. Well... 890 00:43:35,869 --> 00:43:38,972 a while. I'm sorry. 891 00:43:38,997 --> 00:43:41,057 Oh, my God, no. Adrian, don't... 892 00:43:41,082 --> 00:43:43,143 I just need to come up with a way to... 893 00:43:43,168 --> 00:43:44,394 to pay everyone back. 894 00:43:44,419 --> 00:43:46,296 Well, what about my 14 grand? 895 00:43:48,381 --> 00:43:50,442 I don't bloody believe it. 896 00:43:50,467 --> 00:43:53,570 OK. OK. Now, apart from us, who do you owe money to? 897 00:43:53,595 --> 00:43:54,613 Uh... 898 00:43:54,639 --> 00:43:57,741 It's people like Jill and Michael from the Rotary Club. 899 00:43:57,766 --> 00:43:59,826 There's John. John?! The butcher? 900 00:43:59,851 --> 00:44:02,954 Oh, for heaven's sake, I thought you meant gangsters, Adrian, 901 00:44:02,979 --> 00:44:05,040 people who'd break your thumbs, 902 00:44:05,065 --> 00:44:07,125 not the butcher, the baker and the candlestick... 903 00:44:07,150 --> 00:44:08,376 Just send them a text! 904 00:44:08,401 --> 00:44:10,253 Well, it's not your reputation, is it?! 905 00:44:10,278 --> 00:44:13,381 What about your responsibilities? Your family? 906 00:44:13,406 --> 00:44:16,509 They'll understand, I'll call them from... 907 00:44:16,534 --> 00:44:19,637 wherever I am. I'll explain. 908 00:44:19,662 --> 00:44:21,556 Come on, Adrian, it's really bad form. 909 00:44:21,581 --> 00:44:24,851 Here's some of the people from the community I've been talking to. 910 00:44:24,876 --> 00:44:25,894 They're yours now. 911 00:44:25,919 --> 00:44:26,936 Oh, God. 912 00:44:26,961 --> 00:44:27,980 I can't... 913 00:44:28,005 --> 00:44:30,065 What about our book? 914 00:44:30,090 --> 00:44:33,193 Well, then, you finish it, Diana! You don't need me, you never have. 915 00:44:33,218 --> 00:44:35,345 You've always been the strongest. 916 00:44:37,389 --> 00:44:38,973 I'm sorry. 917 00:44:46,773 --> 00:44:48,833 It'll be OK. 918 00:44:48,858 --> 00:44:50,944 He'll be OK. 919 00:44:55,115 --> 00:44:57,175 You must go on. 920 00:44:57,200 --> 00:44:59,260 Onto the show. 921 00:44:59,285 --> 00:45:02,388 I've been on, Adrian has, it's... 922 00:45:02,414 --> 00:45:03,456 it's your turn. 923 00:45:06,584 --> 00:45:08,645 It's my turn, is it? 924 00:45:08,670 --> 00:45:10,396 To join the family business. 925 00:45:10,422 --> 00:45:12,816 I'd warned you, I... 926 00:45:12,841 --> 00:45:14,901 These mad schemes! 927 00:45:14,926 --> 00:45:16,986 I don't even like quizzes. 928 00:45:17,011 --> 00:45:20,115 The way you've been moping about, weeks after your turn came and went, 929 00:45:20,140 --> 00:45:22,200 d'you know how dispiriting that is, Diana, 930 00:45:22,225 --> 00:45:25,328 to know that the only happiness you get is from a bloody game show? 931 00:45:25,353 --> 00:45:27,789 That isn't fair, that is... It just isn't true. 932 00:45:27,814 --> 00:45:29,499 It couldn't be further... 933 00:45:29,524 --> 00:45:32,293 And everyone has hobbies, Charles. Pfft! 934 00:45:32,318 --> 00:45:34,379 And I didn't want to bring this up, 935 00:45:34,404 --> 00:45:35,755 but... 936 00:45:35,780 --> 00:45:37,507 Let the machine get it. Well, we have, 937 00:45:37,532 --> 00:45:39,926 as a family, rather... 938 00:45:39,951 --> 00:45:42,387 followed you around wherever you went. 939 00:45:42,412 --> 00:45:44,139 Happily, I might add, willingly. 940 00:45:44,164 --> 00:45:48,101 But now we, now I need you. 941 00:45:48,126 --> 00:45:51,396 '..Charles Ingram. I'm calling you from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. 942 00:45:51,421 --> 00:45:52,647 'We're delighted to let you know 943 00:45:52,672 --> 00:45:54,566 'that you've been selected by our computer 944 00:45:54,591 --> 00:45:58,695 'to take part in our qualifying round of "closest to" questions. 945 00:45:58,720 --> 00:46:03,933 'Give us a call back on 0909 8790 555.' 946 00:46:07,061 --> 00:46:10,899 I may have already started calling and leaving your name. 947 00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:22,677 What happens next is easy to dismiss as simply exciting television. 948 00:46:22,702 --> 00:46:23,721 High drama. 949 00:46:23,746 --> 00:46:26,706 A bit of harmless fun that got out of hand. 950 00:46:27,749 --> 00:46:29,976 But ignore the lights, ignore the sound. 951 00:46:31,045 --> 00:46:34,147 Unbelievable! 952 00:46:34,172 --> 00:46:36,232 This is theft. 953 00:46:36,257 --> 00:46:37,650 Plain and simple. 954 00:46:37,675 --> 00:46:42,488 An attempt to steal £1 million. 955 00:46:42,514 --> 00:46:45,617 We have all the evidence and all of the testimonies. 956 00:46:45,642 --> 00:46:47,911 But as we go through quite how they did it, 957 00:46:47,936 --> 00:46:50,330 beat by impossible beat, 958 00:46:50,355 --> 00:46:52,081 oh, you'll be shocked, yes, 959 00:46:52,106 --> 00:46:55,026 perhaps even impressed a little... 960 00:46:56,069 --> 00:46:58,129 ..but you will be left in no doubt 961 00:46:58,154 --> 00:47:00,215 that they are guilty of a crime. 962 00:47:00,240 --> 00:47:04,385 A crime that carries with it 963 00:47:04,410 --> 00:47:07,013 time in prison. 964 00:47:07,038 --> 00:47:09,290 All right? 965 00:47:10,667 --> 00:47:12,752 All right? 966 00:47:21,094 --> 00:47:24,197 Right, Major Charles Ingram, 967 00:47:24,222 --> 00:47:25,615 are you ready to play... 968 00:48:58,837 --> 00:49:01,940 They all work. All four of them. 969 00:49:01,965 --> 00:49:04,025 OK, good. Good to test them. 970 00:49:04,050 --> 00:49:06,820 How is he? Charles? Is he ready? Erm... 971 00:49:06,845 --> 00:49:09,239 'Emmerdale. Hollyoaks. 972 00:49:09,264 --> 00:49:11,349 'EastEnders. Coronation Street.' 973 00:49:13,435 --> 00:49:14,453 Emmerdale? 974 00:49:14,479 --> 00:49:16,538 'D, Coronation Street.' 975 00:49:16,563 --> 00:49:18,623 'Coronation Street is the right answer, well done.' 976 00:49:18,648 --> 00:49:21,751 Oh, bum. Yeah, no, he's, erm... 977 00:49:21,776 --> 00:49:23,862 He's going to need all the help he can get. 978 00:49:37,417 --> 00:49:39,502 This way, please. 979 00:49:40,545 --> 00:49:43,648 So this is just a little practice, 980 00:49:43,673 --> 00:49:45,734 before we send you off to the canteen 981 00:49:45,759 --> 00:49:47,819 for a bite to eat, OK? 982 00:49:47,844 --> 00:49:49,905 Oh, and to warn, we're starting with 983 00:49:49,930 --> 00:49:53,033 a rollover contestant from yesterday. 984 00:49:53,058 --> 00:49:54,076 So you won't be called upon 985 00:49:54,101 --> 00:49:57,203 until probably quite a way into the show, 986 00:49:57,229 --> 00:50:01,374 just to, like, manage your expectations and everything. 987 00:50:01,399 --> 00:50:02,418 Right! 988 00:50:02,443 --> 00:50:05,545 Just a rehearsal! 989 00:50:05,570 --> 00:50:07,631 Fingers on buttons. 990 00:50:07,656 --> 00:50:10,784 Put these Disney films in order of their release. 991 00:50:12,035 --> 00:50:13,887 A, Little Mermaid. 992 00:50:13,912 --> 00:50:17,057 B, Snow White. 993 00:50:17,082 --> 00:50:19,100 C, Aladdin. 994 00:50:19,125 --> 00:50:20,168 D, Dumbo. 995 00:50:25,382 --> 00:50:29,527 OK, pretty straightforward, 996 00:50:29,552 --> 00:50:31,613 Let's look who was fastest. 997 00:50:31,638 --> 00:50:35,784 Janet! On 6.52 seconds, well done. 998 00:50:35,809 --> 00:50:38,912 And, Charles? Yeah. 999 00:50:38,937 --> 00:50:42,415 I'm afraid you were last. Oh, well. It's just nice to be here. 1000 00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:45,001 Yeah. Only rehearsal. Yeah, OK. 1001 00:50:45,026 --> 00:50:46,586 OK. Over to you, Rebecca. Fantastic. 1002 00:50:46,611 --> 00:50:49,364 OK, folks, if you'd like to follow me, please. 1003 00:50:53,743 --> 00:50:56,638 He's the husband of the sister of the brother 1004 00:50:56,663 --> 00:50:58,723 who were all here, so... 1005 00:50:58,748 --> 00:50:59,767 Oh, Jesus Christ. 1006 00:50:59,792 --> 00:51:02,060 But seriously, honestly, I wouldn't worry, 1007 00:51:02,085 --> 00:51:03,937 he's like Tim-Nice-But-Dim army type, 1008 00:51:03,962 --> 00:51:06,022 I doubt he'll even get in the chair. 1009 00:51:06,047 --> 00:51:08,108 Terrible in rehearsal and, so, yeah. 1010 00:51:08,133 --> 00:51:11,236 Oh, and his wife did request an extra ticket, though. 1011 00:51:11,261 --> 00:51:13,530 Audience is full, but I could put them in the overspill? 1012 00:51:13,555 --> 00:51:15,432 Fine, wherever. 1013 00:51:21,021 --> 00:51:22,706 Don't be so on edge. 1014 00:51:22,731 --> 00:51:25,834 I'm gonna be the one in the chair, hopefully. 1015 00:51:25,859 --> 00:51:26,877 I wish you were more on edge, 1016 00:51:26,902 --> 00:51:29,863 so I'd know you knew how nerve-wracking it is out there. 1017 00:51:31,448 --> 00:51:36,094 Well, at least we're getting to spend more time together. 1018 00:51:46,713 --> 00:51:48,798 All right. Of course, yeah. 1019 00:51:56,097 --> 00:51:59,576 Right, place these words of an Agatha Christie novel 1020 00:51:59,601 --> 00:52:01,286 in the right order. 1021 00:52:01,311 --> 00:52:03,396 Nile, On, Death, The! 1022 00:52:07,609 --> 00:52:10,670 And it was, of course, Death On The Nile. 1023 00:52:10,695 --> 00:52:13,798 And who gets to sit in the chair next? 1024 00:52:13,823 --> 00:52:15,950 It's... Charles Ingram! 1025 00:52:23,416 --> 00:52:25,268 Well done, Charles. 1026 00:52:25,293 --> 00:52:26,352 Are you ready to play for a million pounds? 1027 00:52:26,378 --> 00:52:29,439 Is the Pope a Catholic? And... hold there! 1028 00:52:29,464 --> 00:52:31,524 What did I...? Oh, don't worry, no, no, no. 1029 00:52:31,549 --> 00:52:33,610 It's a lot less continuous and magic than it is on tele. 1030 00:52:33,635 --> 00:52:36,237 Erm, lots of stops and starts. We're gonna mic your guest up now 1031 00:52:36,262 --> 00:52:37,781 and put them in their seat in the audience. 1032 00:52:37,806 --> 00:52:39,866 Who have you brought? Uh, my wife. 1033 00:52:39,891 --> 00:52:42,994 You've met actually, she played before. Oh, really? 1034 00:52:43,019 --> 00:52:44,437 Yes. Oh, yes! 1035 00:52:46,147 --> 00:52:48,249 Hello... again. 1036 00:52:48,274 --> 00:52:51,569 OK, folks, here we go. And... 1037 00:52:54,155 --> 00:52:57,592 OK, let's play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 1038 00:53:07,001 --> 00:53:10,105 Erm, so, we've seen quite a lot of the Major's family 1039 00:53:10,130 --> 00:53:11,148 on this show, Charles... 1040 00:53:11,173 --> 00:53:14,275 First off was his wife, Diana, who won 32 grand. 1041 00:53:14,300 --> 00:53:18,446 Erm, then brother-in-law Adrian, who won 32 grand, as well. 1042 00:53:18,471 --> 00:53:21,241 So it's a matter of family honour, Charles. 1043 00:53:21,266 --> 00:53:23,660 No pressure, then! No. No. No, no pressure. 1044 00:53:23,685 --> 00:53:26,788 What, are you trying to win a million between you? 1045 00:53:26,813 --> 00:53:29,916 First question of 15. 1046 00:53:29,941 --> 00:53:32,544 "What name is given to a person 1047 00:53:32,569 --> 00:53:36,172 "who is against increasing the powers of the European Union?" 1048 00:53:36,197 --> 00:53:39,300 Eurosceptic. Eurostar. 1049 00:53:39,325 --> 00:53:42,428 Eurotrash. Eurovision. 1050 00:53:42,454 --> 00:53:45,557 It's, erm... It's Eurosceptic, Chris, yeah. 1051 00:53:45,582 --> 00:53:47,667 That's correct. 1052 00:53:49,752 --> 00:53:50,795 So for £2,000. 1053 00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:54,607 Coronation Street... 1054 00:53:54,632 --> 00:53:57,026 I bet you know this one. Oh, no, I've never watched it. 1055 00:53:57,051 --> 00:53:59,112 Charles, it's been on for 40 years! 1056 00:53:59,137 --> 00:54:01,906 I know, I know, I just... 1057 00:54:01,931 --> 00:54:06,411 In Coronation Street, who is Audrey's daughter? 1058 00:54:06,436 --> 00:54:11,649 Janice, Gail, Linda, Sally. 1059 00:54:13,735 --> 00:54:15,795 Erm, no, it's nothing... 1060 00:54:15,820 --> 00:54:18,923 It's nothing, erm... 1061 00:54:18,948 --> 00:54:20,700 I'm not getting anything. 1062 00:54:28,333 --> 00:54:32,504 Erm, no, it's... 1063 00:54:47,101 --> 00:54:49,162 Oh, sorry, sir, 1064 00:54:49,187 --> 00:54:51,247 you can't be out here on the phone, I'm afraid. 1065 00:54:51,272 --> 00:54:52,291 Yeah, no, sorry, I'm... 1066 00:54:52,316 --> 00:54:54,375 I know, I know, sorry, I just need to, erm... 1067 00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:56,461 Sir, if you don't mind? Yeah, of course. 1068 00:54:56,486 --> 00:54:58,571 Sorry. I was just trying to get in touch... 1069 00:55:00,657 --> 00:55:01,675 'OK, no, I... Yeah. 1070 00:55:01,700 --> 00:55:04,469 'I'll have to ask the audience, Chris.' 1071 00:55:04,494 --> 00:55:06,554 Cut to Chris. 'OK, audience.' 1072 00:55:06,579 --> 00:55:07,931 She's right. He's an idiot. 1073 00:55:07,956 --> 00:55:08,998 'Fingers on keypads.' 1074 00:55:11,292 --> 00:55:14,187 Which still begs the question how he got in the goddamn chair, 1075 00:55:14,212 --> 00:55:17,715 but hey-ho, and all the fun of the fair. 1076 00:55:19,634 --> 00:55:24,614 OK! And 89% say Gail. 1077 00:55:24,639 --> 00:55:27,976 Well. Gosh, yeah, OK... Well, I'll go for B, go for Gail. 1078 00:55:30,895 --> 00:55:33,998 Oh, "Where is the River Foyle"? 1079 00:55:34,023 --> 00:55:36,484 Erm... Erm... 1080 00:55:39,237 --> 00:55:41,297 I think I'm gonna have to, erm... 1081 00:55:41,322 --> 00:55:44,425 Oh, dear. Yeah, I'm gonna have to... phone a friend.. 1082 00:55:44,450 --> 00:55:46,511 It's all right, that's what the lifelines are there for. 1083 00:55:46,536 --> 00:55:48,638 OK, who are we gonna call, Major? 1084 00:55:48,663 --> 00:55:52,767 Erm, Gerald. OK, let's call Gerald, please. 1085 00:55:52,792 --> 00:55:56,104 Where's Gerald? Erm, South Wales. 1086 00:56:10,727 --> 00:56:13,830 Mr Pollock, I mean it now, we'll have to confiscate your phone. 1087 00:56:13,855 --> 00:56:16,774 Yeah, all right. OK. OK. Yep, sorry. 1088 00:56:19,902 --> 00:56:23,006 This way, sir. Keep an eye on him. 1089 00:56:23,031 --> 00:56:26,134 Is the right answer. And that takes you to £4,000! 1090 00:56:28,244 --> 00:56:31,014 Oh, no! 1091 00:56:31,039 --> 00:56:34,475 Oh, no! Charles, we're gonna have to drag you back tomorrow, 1092 00:56:34,500 --> 00:56:38,146 along with ten new Fastest Finger First contestants. 1093 00:56:44,927 --> 00:56:46,988 Jacob Nixon from Frome! 1094 00:56:47,013 --> 00:56:49,073 Charlotte Edmonds from Edinburgh. 1095 00:56:49,098 --> 00:56:52,201 Helen McGrath form Broadstairs. 1096 00:56:52,226 --> 00:56:54,287 Sorry, darling. 1097 00:56:54,312 --> 00:56:56,372 Bloody Coronation Street. 1098 00:56:56,397 --> 00:57:00,543 It's OK, we just need to strategise for tomorrow. 1099 00:57:00,568 --> 00:57:02,628 We need to regroup. 1100 00:57:02,654 --> 00:57:03,672 Well, I can't be back tomorrow, 1101 00:57:03,697 --> 00:57:05,757 I mean, I shouldn't really be here today, so... 1102 00:57:05,782 --> 00:57:08,885 Knock-knock, sorry to interrupt. 1103 00:57:08,910 --> 00:57:10,970 Just giving you your hotel details. 1104 00:57:10,995 --> 00:57:13,056 Oh, no, I'm really sorry, but I actually think 1105 00:57:13,081 --> 00:57:14,099 we have to get back home tonight. 1106 00:57:14,124 --> 00:57:17,226 Back home? Yeah, I've got... I've got work in the morning. 1107 00:57:17,251 --> 00:57:20,355 But you're our rollover contestant. You're back in the chair tomorrow. 1108 00:57:20,380 --> 00:57:22,440 I know, I know, but we didn't necessarily think 1109 00:57:22,465 --> 00:57:25,568 that we would rollover, did we? No. No. 1110 00:57:25,593 --> 00:57:27,653 Well, can't you call in sick? It's the British Army. 1111 00:57:27,679 --> 00:57:29,739 No, you can't call in sick. I know, but, like... 1112 00:57:29,764 --> 00:57:31,849 ..there's no war on, is there? 1113 00:57:33,935 --> 00:57:35,995 I mean, I'm joking, but I'm not really. 1114 00:57:36,020 --> 00:57:37,039 We have to have you back here. 1115 00:57:37,064 --> 00:57:38,790 We will be back. I promise, I promise. 1116 00:57:38,815 --> 00:57:41,584 But work takes precedence, I'm so sorry. 1117 00:57:41,609 --> 00:57:44,362 Charles, car, five minutes. Yeah. 1118 00:58:06,259 --> 00:58:08,319 Hello, Tecwen speaking. 1119 00:58:08,344 --> 00:58:11,447 Ah, yes, Tecwen. Hi. It's, erm, Diana Ingram here. 1120 00:58:11,472 --> 00:58:15,618 Erm, Adrian's sister. Oh. Hello, yes. Diana. Yes. 1121 00:58:15,643 --> 00:58:17,703 Oh, my God, fortuitous timing. You'll never guess what. 1122 00:58:17,729 --> 00:58:19,122 Oh, I-I think I can, actually, 1123 00:58:19,147 --> 00:58:21,874 you're going to be on the show tomorrow, I've just heard, 1124 00:58:21,899 --> 00:58:26,045 erm, weirdly, I'm here... at the studio. 1125 00:58:26,070 --> 00:58:27,089 Charles, my husband, he's here, 1126 00:58:27,114 --> 00:58:29,173 he's going to be in the chair tomorrow, 1127 00:58:29,198 --> 00:58:31,259 for when you're in the Fastest Finger seats. 1128 00:58:31,284 --> 00:58:34,387 Oh, my. What a coincidence. I know. I know. 1129 00:58:34,412 --> 00:58:36,497 So, erm, I just thought I'd call for a quick chat. 1130 00:58:46,839 --> 00:58:49,967 All right? 1131 00:59:04,821 --> 00:59:06,882 We're welcoming back Charles, 1132 00:59:06,907 --> 00:59:10,010 Major Charles Ingram, into the chair. 1133 00:59:10,035 --> 00:59:12,471 "Morning, Major!" "Morning, Fawlty!" 1134 00:59:12,496 --> 00:59:15,223 So do you have a strategy, then, Major? 1135 00:59:15,248 --> 00:59:18,351 Well, erm... Well, yeah, I do. I do have a strategy, actually. 1136 00:59:18,376 --> 00:59:21,480 I, erm... I was a bit defensive on the last show, 1137 00:59:21,505 --> 00:59:23,565 erm, you know, talking myself out of answers 1138 00:59:23,590 --> 00:59:25,650 that I... frankly, I should have known and do know 1139 00:59:25,675 --> 00:59:27,777 and, erm... So, yeah... So I'm... I'm... 1140 00:59:27,803 --> 00:59:30,697 Yeah, I'm, sort of, going on the counterattack. 1141 00:59:30,722 --> 00:59:32,949 We're going on a counterattack. 1142 00:59:32,974 --> 00:59:33,993 Yeah, and basically I'm... 1143 00:59:34,018 --> 00:59:37,120 I'm just gonna try and show a bit more self-commitment. 1144 00:59:37,145 --> 00:59:39,581 Well, erm, let's put this strategy to the test. 1145 00:59:39,606 --> 00:59:43,401 Right, Major Charles Ingram, are you ready to play? 1146 00:59:48,615 --> 00:59:51,718 This, for £8,000. 1147 00:59:51,743 --> 00:59:56,932 Who was the second husband of Jacqueline Kennedy? 1148 00:59:56,957 --> 00:59:59,017 Adnan Khashoggi. 1149 00:59:59,042 --> 01:00:00,435 Ronald Reagan. 1150 01:00:00,460 --> 01:00:03,396 Aristotle Onassis. 1151 01:00:03,421 --> 01:00:05,273 Rupert Murdoch. 1152 01:00:05,298 --> 01:00:08,401 All right, we're not expecting this guy to be in long, 1153 01:00:08,426 --> 01:00:09,445 he's two lifelines down, 1154 01:00:09,470 --> 01:00:11,530 so make sure we're prepped for the next. 1155 01:00:11,555 --> 01:00:13,473 Roger, roger. 1156 01:00:14,683 --> 01:00:16,743 I would have thought... 1157 01:00:16,768 --> 01:00:20,105 I would have thought it would be Aristotle Onassis. 1158 01:00:21,815 --> 01:00:23,024 Erm... 1159 01:00:25,110 --> 01:00:28,213 Yeah, one... One of my sub-strategies is... 1160 01:00:28,238 --> 01:00:30,298 Oh, my, we've got sub-strategies now?! 1161 01:00:30,323 --> 01:00:32,425 Yeah, yeah, and sub-sub-strategies. 1162 01:00:32,450 --> 01:00:35,512 But one of my sub-strategies is to take my time 1163 01:00:35,537 --> 01:00:38,498 and, erm, list all the... all the options. 1164 01:00:39,708 --> 01:00:40,750 So... 1165 01:00:42,502 --> 01:00:44,896 Adnan Kashoggi. 1166 01:00:44,921 --> 01:00:48,400 Ronald Reagan. 1167 01:00:48,425 --> 01:00:53,071 And Rupert Murdoch. 1168 01:00:53,096 --> 01:00:55,323 Aristotle Onassis. 1169 01:01:05,775 --> 01:01:07,836 Yeah, yeah, I think... 1170 01:01:07,861 --> 01:01:12,007 I'm pretty sure it's, erm, Aristotle Onassis. 1171 01:01:12,032 --> 01:01:13,050 Final answer? 1172 01:01:13,075 --> 01:01:14,326 Final answer, yeah. 1173 01:01:15,535 --> 01:01:17,787 You didn't have to play. 1174 01:01:20,373 --> 01:01:23,310 Well, this new self-committed Charles 1175 01:01:23,335 --> 01:01:25,587 is a wild and crazy man. That's the correct answer! 1176 01:01:34,971 --> 01:01:37,032 OK, so you've got £16,000. 1177 01:01:37,057 --> 01:01:39,142 Now for the all-important 32,000. 1178 01:01:41,227 --> 01:01:45,373 Who had a hit UK album with Born To Do It, 1179 01:01:45,398 --> 01:01:49,044 released in 2000? 1180 01:01:49,069 --> 01:01:51,630 Coldplay. 1181 01:01:51,655 --> 01:01:52,673 Toploader. 1182 01:01:54,991 --> 01:01:56,868 Craig David. 1183 01:01:59,496 --> 01:02:02,057 Coldplay. 1184 01:02:02,082 --> 01:02:03,642 Toploader. 1185 01:02:05,919 --> 01:02:07,337 Craig David. 1186 01:02:14,260 --> 01:02:18,765 OK, well, erm... 1187 01:02:19,808 --> 01:02:22,077 All right? Yeah. 1188 01:02:22,102 --> 01:02:28,124 That major from last night is nearly up to 32 grand, amazingly. 1189 01:02:28,149 --> 01:02:29,168 'I think it's A1.' 1190 01:02:29,193 --> 01:02:31,252 He's like a new man today. 1191 01:02:31,277 --> 01:02:33,338 'But it could be Toploader.' 1192 01:02:33,363 --> 01:02:36,132 Which is also something to do with a barrel on a rifle. 1193 01:02:36,157 --> 01:02:40,662 So... Erm, I've never heard of Craig David. 1194 01:02:42,747 --> 01:02:44,808 Erm... 1195 01:02:44,833 --> 01:02:46,893 Erm, I... I'm afraid I'm gonna have to... 1196 01:02:46,918 --> 01:02:50,021 I think I'm gonna have to use my final lifeline, 50:50. 1197 01:02:50,046 --> 01:02:53,149 Computer, take away two wrong answers, 1198 01:02:53,174 --> 01:02:56,302 leave Charles with the right answer and one remaining wrong answer. 1199 01:02:57,345 --> 01:03:01,516 Oh, that's not any easier... Erm... Urgh. 1200 01:03:07,772 --> 01:03:08,791 Do you know what? 1201 01:03:08,816 --> 01:03:11,751 I think I'm gonna go for it, I think I'm gonna go for A1. 1202 01:03:11,776 --> 01:03:12,961 Final answer? 1203 01:03:12,986 --> 01:03:14,212 No. 1204 01:03:20,285 --> 01:03:21,327 No. Erm... 1205 01:03:25,707 --> 01:03:28,668 Craig David... 1206 01:03:33,840 --> 01:03:35,925 Craig... David. 1207 01:03:49,481 --> 01:03:52,584 You know, when... When I'm at home, erm, and I'm practising, 1208 01:03:52,609 --> 01:03:54,669 you know, I guess... I guess... 1209 01:03:54,694 --> 01:03:57,797 Well, I guess wrong 80% of the time, 1210 01:03:57,822 --> 01:04:01,134 so I think I'm gonna go with Craig David. 1211 01:04:04,079 --> 01:04:06,139 Charles, you'd never heard of him a moment ago?! 1212 01:04:06,164 --> 01:04:08,057 No, Craig David. I'm gonna... 1213 01:04:08,083 --> 01:04:11,377 Final answer? Yeah, final answer. 1214 01:04:14,005 --> 01:04:17,609 Well, erm, what a show this is turning into. 1215 01:04:17,634 --> 01:04:20,737 Major Charles Ingram was on £16,000. 1216 01:04:20,762 --> 01:04:22,822 He didn't have to play this question. 1217 01:04:22,847 --> 01:04:26,993 He said in his own words that he'd never heard of Craig David. 1218 01:04:27,018 --> 01:04:29,078 He went with A1. 1219 01:04:29,104 --> 01:04:32,207 And then, because... 1220 01:04:32,232 --> 01:04:34,334 Well, I'd rather lost the plot of his thinking then, 1221 01:04:34,359 --> 01:04:36,377 but he changed his mind, 1222 01:04:36,402 --> 01:04:41,591 knowing that he would lose £15,000 if he gave the wrong answer. 1223 01:04:41,616 --> 01:04:44,719 He went with Craig David, who he'd never heard of. 1224 01:04:44,744 --> 01:04:45,787 Yep. 1225 01:04:47,872 --> 01:04:49,933 And that's the right answer! 1226 01:04:49,958 --> 01:04:52,018 Unbelievable. 1227 01:04:52,043 --> 01:04:56,189 I don't know how you do that! I really don't! 1228 01:04:56,214 --> 01:04:58,299 Incredible. 1229 01:05:06,683 --> 01:05:09,244 Yes? Paul. It's David. 1230 01:05:09,269 --> 01:05:12,872 It's happening, I think the thing is happening. 1231 01:05:12,897 --> 01:05:14,958 The rollover contestant from last night, 1232 01:05:14,983 --> 01:05:16,376 I think he's cheating. 1233 01:05:16,401 --> 01:05:19,504 He...? What, in getting on the show? 1234 01:05:19,529 --> 01:05:21,047 No, cheating on the show, 1235 01:05:21,072 --> 01:05:23,299 cheating at the actual... the actual game. 1236 01:05:23,324 --> 01:05:26,427 Is the correct answer. 1237 01:05:26,452 --> 01:05:28,513 How do you...? You can't cheat the show, 1238 01:05:28,538 --> 01:05:30,265 either you know the answer, or you don't. 1239 01:05:30,290 --> 01:05:32,709 Look something isn't right. He's... 1240 01:05:34,794 --> 01:05:36,880 Normal people don't play like this. 1241 01:05:38,131 --> 01:05:41,050 All right, I'm... I'm coming down. 1242 01:05:43,178 --> 01:05:46,264 Yeah, I mean, it's a down payment on a house, isn't it? So... 1243 01:05:52,520 --> 01:05:54,581 So, yeah. Yeah. Holbein. 1244 01:05:54,606 --> 01:05:55,624 Holbein. 1245 01:05:55,649 --> 01:05:57,709 Final answer? 1246 01:05:57,734 --> 01:05:58,818 Final answer. 1247 01:06:00,862 --> 01:06:03,990 OK. Erm, first of all, you thought it was Rembrandt. 1248 01:06:06,075 --> 01:06:09,178 Said you'd seen the painting. 1249 01:06:09,204 --> 01:06:10,622 You then thought it was Holbein. 1250 01:06:17,587 --> 01:06:24,485 You've just won £125,000! 1251 01:06:24,510 --> 01:06:26,905 Incredible. 1252 01:06:26,930 --> 01:06:29,532 Incredible. You're just getting better! 1253 01:06:29,557 --> 01:06:32,118 OK, something's weird. 1254 01:06:32,143 --> 01:06:35,246 How is he doing this? Yeah, I have no idea. 1255 01:06:35,271 --> 01:06:38,374 I mean, you were struggling more at £200 than you are now. 1256 01:06:38,399 --> 01:06:41,502 I-I dunno! Unbelievable. 1257 01:06:42,571 --> 01:06:44,631 Well, Charles, here it is. 1258 01:06:44,656 --> 01:06:48,801 A cheque, for a quarter of a... It sounds strange doesn't it, 1259 01:06:48,826 --> 01:06:51,930 ..a quarter of a million pounds. Gosh, you're shaking. 1260 01:06:51,955 --> 01:06:52,973 I know, I know, I don't... 1261 01:06:52,998 --> 01:06:56,100 I know that, frankly, you didn't think you'd be able to 1262 01:06:56,125 --> 01:06:58,186 equal your wife. And, frankly, Charles, nor did I. 1263 01:06:58,211 --> 01:07:02,357 Well, this is real money. 1264 01:07:02,382 --> 01:07:05,485 £250,000. 1265 01:07:05,510 --> 01:07:07,595 But we don't want to give you that! 1266 01:07:09,681 --> 01:07:11,741 This question... 1267 01:07:11,766 --> 01:07:13,826 for half a million pounds. 1268 01:07:19,065 --> 01:07:24,279 Baron Haussmann is best known for the planning of which city? 1269 01:07:25,363 --> 01:07:27,382 Rome. 1270 01:07:27,407 --> 01:07:29,467 Paris. 1271 01:07:29,492 --> 01:07:31,552 Berlin. 1272 01:07:31,577 --> 01:07:32,620 Athens. 1273 01:07:36,791 --> 01:07:39,894 Think it's Berlin. 1274 01:07:39,919 --> 01:07:40,962 God! 1275 01:07:47,218 --> 01:07:48,611 Yeah, Berlin. 1276 01:07:48,636 --> 01:07:51,364 I mean, Haussmann... 1277 01:07:51,389 --> 01:07:53,282 You know, seems... Seems like a German name, 1278 01:07:53,308 --> 01:07:54,492 rather than a Italian name, 1279 01:07:54,517 --> 01:07:56,577 or a Parisian name, or an Athens name. 1280 01:07:56,602 --> 01:07:58,354 Erm... 1281 01:08:02,525 --> 01:08:03,901 Rome. 1282 01:08:04,944 --> 01:08:08,072 Paris. 1283 01:08:13,286 --> 01:08:15,346 Yeah. Do you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna rethink it. 1284 01:08:15,371 --> 01:08:18,474 Because I don't... I don't think it's Athens 1285 01:08:18,499 --> 01:08:21,269 and I'm pretty sure it's not Rome. 1286 01:08:21,294 --> 01:08:22,645 And I would have thought... 1287 01:08:22,670 --> 01:08:25,773 I would have thought it was, erm... 1288 01:08:25,798 --> 01:08:28,234 Berlin, but there's a chance it could be Paris. 1289 01:08:35,558 --> 01:08:37,810 Oh, God, no. 1290 01:08:39,354 --> 01:08:43,524 You stand to lose £218,000. 1291 01:08:47,695 --> 01:08:49,255 Yeah, I think... I-I think it's Paris. 1292 01:08:49,280 --> 01:08:51,174 I'm gonna play. 1293 01:08:51,199 --> 01:08:54,994 Right, hang on. Now, wait, where are we?! 1294 01:08:56,037 --> 01:08:58,097 No, Paris. 1295 01:08:58,122 --> 01:09:00,558 Paris, final answer. 1296 01:09:00,583 --> 01:09:03,336 Final answer? Final answer. 1297 01:09:07,507 --> 01:09:09,567 You thought it was Berlin. 1298 01:09:09,592 --> 01:09:11,677 "Berlin, Berlin, Berlin". 1299 01:09:15,848 --> 01:09:17,225 You changed your mind to Paris... 1300 01:09:20,019 --> 01:09:23,147 That's brought you £500,000! Yes! Yes! 1301 01:09:25,233 --> 01:09:27,318 That's unbelievable! Unbelievable! 1302 01:09:31,489 --> 01:09:33,549 Incredible. Oh, shit, the glitter. 1303 01:09:33,574 --> 01:09:35,635 Never thought we'd get to the million-pound question, 1304 01:09:35,660 --> 01:09:37,720 but we're at the million-pound question, 1305 01:09:37,745 --> 01:09:39,806 I never prepared the bloody glitter. Where's the glitter man? 1306 01:09:39,831 --> 01:09:46,062 ♪ It's raining men, hallelujah It's raining men, amen 1307 01:09:46,087 --> 01:09:50,274 ♪ It's raining men, hallelujah... ♪ 1308 01:09:50,299 --> 01:09:55,471 ♪ Ame-e-e-e-en. ♪ 1309 01:10:20,496 --> 01:10:22,223 Well, erm... 1310 01:10:22,248 --> 01:10:24,642 It's not often I get to say this. But... 1311 01:10:24,667 --> 01:10:28,813 for £1 million: 1312 01:10:28,838 --> 01:10:30,898 The number one, 1313 01:10:30,923 --> 01:10:34,902 followed by 100 zeros 1314 01:10:34,927 --> 01:10:37,180 is known by what name? 1315 01:10:38,931 --> 01:10:40,324 Googol. 1316 01:10:40,349 --> 01:10:43,411 Megatron. 1317 01:10:43,436 --> 01:10:45,496 Gigabit. 1318 01:10:45,521 --> 01:10:47,106 Nanomole. 1319 01:10:54,572 --> 01:10:57,341 Well, let's see. 1320 01:10:57,366 --> 01:11:01,679 Erm, Giga... 1321 01:11:01,704 --> 01:11:03,222 Nano... 1322 01:11:03,247 --> 01:11:04,499 Oh, God, don't start. 1323 01:11:20,973 --> 01:11:22,225 Right, OK. 1324 01:11:25,144 --> 01:11:29,290 God, I don't... I don't, erm... 1325 01:11:29,315 --> 01:11:33,461 Well? Watch, just watch... 1326 01:11:33,486 --> 01:11:35,546 I'm not sure. 1327 01:11:35,571 --> 01:11:38,674 However... 1328 01:11:38,699 --> 01:11:41,827 Charles, you haven't been sure since question two! 1329 01:11:46,374 --> 01:11:51,212 God, I... I think... I think it's a Megatron. 1330 01:11:56,425 --> 01:11:58,486 I have to say, I've... 1331 01:11:58,511 --> 01:11:59,530 And I've never heard, 1332 01:11:59,555 --> 01:12:01,614 I haven't... No, I've never heard of a googol. 1333 01:12:06,686 --> 01:12:09,981 Do you know the answer? Yes, it's googol. 1334 01:12:13,109 --> 01:12:15,194 That's what I thought. 1335 01:12:19,365 --> 01:12:21,450 Googol. 1336 01:12:22,493 --> 01:12:24,579 Googol. 1337 01:12:27,206 --> 01:12:29,767 Yeah, I mean, you know, by process of elimination, 1338 01:12:29,792 --> 01:12:32,895 I actually think it is a googol. But I don't know what a googol is. 1339 01:12:37,091 --> 01:12:39,193 It's not a gigabit, a nanomole, or a Megatron 1340 01:12:39,218 --> 01:12:42,280 and there's only four of them, so it must be googol, mustn't it? 1341 01:12:42,305 --> 01:12:43,889 I mean... 1342 01:12:49,604 --> 01:12:52,707 I mean, I don't mind taking the odd risk now and again. 1343 01:12:55,901 --> 01:12:59,530 My strategy has... has worked so far. 1344 01:13:06,287 --> 01:13:08,347 Chris, I'm gonna play. 1345 01:13:08,372 --> 01:13:11,475 You know, you don't have to play this, Charles. 1346 01:13:11,500 --> 01:13:13,561 No-one would blame you if you walked away right now, 1347 01:13:13,586 --> 01:13:15,671 with half a million pounds. 1348 01:13:22,970 --> 01:13:23,989 Googol. 1349 01:13:24,014 --> 01:13:26,073 Final answer? 1350 01:13:26,098 --> 01:13:28,159 Final answer. 1351 01:13:28,184 --> 01:13:30,269 Catch me when I fall on the floor. 1352 01:13:36,525 --> 01:13:37,544 Don't go to a break. 1353 01:13:37,569 --> 01:13:40,880 Please, don't go to... Please, don't go for a break. 1354 01:13:40,905 --> 01:13:43,799 We're taking a break. Oh, God! 1355 01:13:45,576 --> 01:13:48,512 Don't go anywhere, I know you won't, 1356 01:13:48,537 --> 01:13:52,141 on what is an epic night in British television. 1357 01:14:00,341 --> 01:14:01,550 Oh, my God. 1358 01:14:05,721 --> 01:14:08,824 We should stop it now. Just stop it. 1359 01:14:08,849 --> 01:14:11,952 We can't stop it, we have no proof. We just, I don't know, just... 1360 01:14:11,977 --> 01:14:14,063 We have to carry on. 1361 01:14:16,148 --> 01:14:19,251 You all right? Erm, yeah, I just, erm... 1362 01:14:19,276 --> 01:14:21,337 I mean, no, not really. 1363 01:14:21,362 --> 01:14:23,422 No! 1364 01:14:23,447 --> 01:14:26,550 So you can see, can you, if I've got the answer right on your screen? 1365 01:14:26,575 --> 01:14:27,618 I can. 1366 01:14:28,661 --> 01:14:31,789 I'm sure it'll just be a few seconds. 1367 01:14:40,131 --> 01:14:41,173 Thank you. 1368 01:14:51,600 --> 01:14:54,703 OK, studio, and... 1369 01:14:58,941 --> 01:15:00,960 Welcome back. 1370 01:15:00,985 --> 01:15:04,088 Wow. Erm, we are here with Charles Ingram. 1371 01:15:04,113 --> 01:15:08,259 Who, after first thinking it was Megatron, 1372 01:15:08,284 --> 01:15:12,430 erm, then played googol as his final answer. 1373 01:15:12,455 --> 01:15:14,540 Even though he'd never heard of it. 1374 01:15:21,839 --> 01:15:23,924 Charles? 1375 01:15:27,428 --> 01:15:32,950 You've just won £1 million! 1376 01:15:32,975 --> 01:15:36,437 One million! 1377 01:15:37,480 --> 01:15:43,711 You are the most amazing player we have ever, ever had! 1378 01:15:43,736 --> 01:15:47,381 Diana? Come on down, my darling, come on. 1379 01:15:47,406 --> 01:15:49,967 One million! 1380 01:15:49,992 --> 01:15:53,095 £1 million! 1381 01:15:53,120 --> 01:15:56,248 I can't believe it. 1382 01:16:01,462 --> 01:16:04,940 The best player we have ever had! 1383 01:16:04,965 --> 01:16:06,650 What a man! 1384 01:16:06,675 --> 01:16:08,736 Quite an amazing man. 1385 01:16:08,761 --> 01:16:12,907 I have no idea how you did it. 1386 01:16:12,932 --> 01:16:16,035 I don't know. Unbelievable! Unbelievable! 1387 01:16:16,060 --> 01:16:19,163 Unbelievable, Diana, my darling, come here. 1388 01:16:19,188 --> 01:16:22,291 Ladies and gentlemen, Charles Ingram. 1389 01:16:28,786 --> 01:16:31,722 ♪ Right from Her doorway we roam... ♪ 1390 01:16:32,957 --> 01:16:37,102 ♪ Eats and then It's a pleasure again 1391 01:16:37,127 --> 01:16:38,146 ♪ Walkin' my baby... ♪ 1392 01:16:38,171 --> 01:16:44,401 "Charles Ingram. One million." 1393 01:16:44,426 --> 01:16:46,487 ♪ I don't mean maybe 1394 01:16:46,512 --> 01:16:49,823 ♪ Walkin' my baby 1395 01:16:49,849 --> 01:16:55,871 ♪ Back home. ♪ 1396 01:17:00,067 --> 01:17:02,169 What? What am I listening for? 1397 01:17:02,194 --> 01:17:04,421 Just wait. It, erm... 1398 01:17:04,446 --> 01:17:09,451 I don't know, I don't know, just... play VT. 1399 01:17:11,537 --> 01:17:15,683 'Googol.' 1400 01:17:15,708 --> 01:17:17,768 That, there. Right there. 1401 01:17:17,793 --> 01:17:19,853 A cough. So what? 1402 01:17:19,879 --> 01:17:21,605 There's always coughing. 1403 01:17:21,630 --> 01:17:22,982 I think... I don't definitely know, 1404 01:17:23,007 --> 01:17:25,067 but I think there's, like, a pattern. 1405 01:17:25,092 --> 01:17:27,152 Of what, coughing? From who? 1406 01:17:27,177 --> 01:17:28,737 Look, there's gotta be something, Paul. 1407 01:17:28,762 --> 01:17:30,489 Watch last night's tape, he's useless. 1408 01:17:30,514 --> 01:17:33,075 And then, what, he comes back an utter genius? 1409 01:17:33,100 --> 01:17:35,494 Replay VT. 1410 01:17:35,519 --> 01:17:37,580 'Googol.' 1411 01:17:37,605 --> 01:17:38,623 Turn it up. 1412 01:17:38,648 --> 01:17:40,708 'Googol.' 1413 01:17:40,733 --> 01:17:41,751 Then he changes his answer. 1414 01:17:41,776 --> 01:17:44,878 'By process of elimination, I actually think it is a googol. 1415 01:17:44,904 --> 01:17:46,989 'But I just don't know what a googol is.' 1416 01:17:52,202 --> 01:17:55,306 Hi, Paul? 1417 01:17:55,331 --> 01:17:56,349 'Um, hi, Ruth.' 1418 01:17:56,374 --> 01:17:59,476 Erm, we've had another millionaire. 1419 01:17:59,501 --> 01:18:01,562 Oh. OK, great! 1420 01:18:01,587 --> 01:18:04,690 Except... 1421 01:18:04,715 --> 01:18:07,818 I think that... Erm, WE think something's not right. 1422 01:18:07,843 --> 01:18:09,903 We think the guy may have cheated. 1423 01:18:13,265 --> 01:18:15,117 Hello? 1424 01:18:15,142 --> 01:18:16,368 What the shitting hell? 1425 01:18:43,295 --> 01:18:44,313 Cheeky bastards, who are they? 1426 01:18:44,338 --> 01:18:45,357 Are they one of that group 1427 01:18:45,382 --> 01:18:47,441 you talked about getting on the show? Morning. 1428 01:18:47,466 --> 01:18:49,735 We don't know, we just know he's a wrong'un. 1429 01:18:49,760 --> 01:18:51,612 Are you OK? 1430 01:18:51,637 --> 01:18:53,722 No, I'm not OK, of course, I'm not OK. 1431 01:18:54,807 --> 01:18:56,825 Sorry, sorry, it's murder on the old... 1432 01:18:56,850 --> 01:18:59,286 This is Lionel, from legal. Coffee? How do you take it? 1433 01:18:59,311 --> 01:19:00,996 Oh, just, erm, massive. 1434 01:19:01,021 --> 01:19:04,124 Look, before anything else, 1435 01:19:04,149 --> 01:19:07,252 the most urgent thing is whether to air tomorrow's episode, 1436 01:19:07,277 --> 01:19:09,338 because if we don't, then ten million people 1437 01:19:09,363 --> 01:19:11,423 are gonna need something else to watch. 1438 01:19:11,448 --> 01:19:13,509 I have a tape on its way, you can see for yourself. 1439 01:19:13,534 --> 01:19:15,594 Well, what about the police? The police? 1440 01:19:15,619 --> 01:19:17,680 Yeah. Is...? Is this a police...? 1441 01:19:17,705 --> 01:19:21,850 Well, it's not... not. It's theft. It's £1 million. 1442 01:19:21,875 --> 01:19:24,978 If this was a bank vault or a diamond store in Hatton Gardens 1443 01:19:25,004 --> 01:19:27,064 there'd be helicopters by now, roadblocks. 1444 01:19:27,089 --> 01:19:30,192 Come in... Ah, right, see for yourself. 1445 01:19:30,217 --> 01:19:33,320 All I'm saying is, is it a crime to cheat on a game show? 1446 01:19:33,345 --> 01:19:37,491 Well, it's... It's... Well... Stop saying "well", Lionel. 1447 01:19:37,516 --> 01:19:39,576 I'm from legal. It's my job to say "well". 1448 01:19:44,815 --> 01:19:46,875 See for yourselves. 'Do you know what? 1449 01:19:46,900 --> 01:19:49,153 'I think I am going to go for it. I'm gonna go for A1.' 1450 01:19:51,071 --> 01:19:53,132 'Final answer? No.' 1451 01:19:56,493 --> 01:20:01,473 'No. Erm... A1. 1452 01:20:01,498 --> 01:20:04,601 'Craig... David.' 1453 01:20:06,754 --> 01:20:09,815 Oh, Jesus, Je-sus. 1454 01:20:09,840 --> 01:20:10,859 It's so obvious. 1455 01:20:10,884 --> 01:20:15,028 And don't forget that his wife has already been on the show. 1456 01:20:15,054 --> 01:20:16,072 She knows the ins and outs. 1457 01:20:16,097 --> 01:20:18,157 'I normally guess wrong 80% of the time...' 1458 01:20:18,182 --> 01:20:21,285 Watch now. He changes his answer. 1459 01:20:21,310 --> 01:20:24,079 'I think I'm going to go with Craig David.' 1460 01:20:24,104 --> 01:20:27,541 OK, I say we don't air. Agreed. 1461 01:20:27,566 --> 01:20:29,626 We can edit forward to the next contestant in the chair. 1462 01:20:29,651 --> 01:20:31,737 Would you fast forward, please? 1463 01:20:33,822 --> 01:20:35,908 Can we do that, is it that simple? 1464 01:20:37,993 --> 01:20:41,096 Oh, arse, the glitter on the floor. 1465 01:20:41,121 --> 01:20:42,140 Well, if no-one has won, 1466 01:20:42,165 --> 01:20:44,933 where did the glitter just come from? No-one will notice. 1467 01:20:44,958 --> 01:20:46,143 Or care. 1468 01:20:46,168 --> 01:20:49,438 This is Tecwen Whittock, from Whitchurch, Cardiff. 1469 01:20:49,463 --> 01:20:51,523 Can you stretch out his turn, make him longer? 1470 01:20:51,548 --> 01:20:53,609 It'll be a struggle. 1471 01:20:53,634 --> 01:20:56,762 He was erm, nothing special, you know. 1472 01:20:59,890 --> 01:21:01,975 Did you order something? No. 1473 01:21:08,232 --> 01:21:09,250 Oh. Hello, hello, David Briggs. 1474 01:21:09,275 --> 01:21:11,335 Ah, yes, hello, hello. Hello, this is Ruth Settle. 1475 01:21:11,360 --> 01:21:14,296 Hi. Hi, hello. Morning, morning. Oh, hello. 1476 01:21:14,321 --> 01:21:16,548 Oh, hi. Sleep OK? 1477 01:21:16,573 --> 01:21:19,176 If at all, you must be... 1478 01:21:19,201 --> 01:21:21,762 Erm... Oh, what's this about? Oh, it's only to, erm... 1479 01:21:21,787 --> 01:21:24,890 It's just to work out the next few days. 1480 01:21:24,915 --> 01:21:25,933 The angle, the coverage. 1481 01:21:25,958 --> 01:21:26,976 So your press conference, 1482 01:21:27,001 --> 01:21:30,813 we thought, because of question 12 for 125,000, 1483 01:21:30,838 --> 01:21:33,257 The Ambassadors is a painting by which artist? 1484 01:21:36,385 --> 01:21:41,573 The... What, the Holbein? The Holbein. Well done, correct! 1485 01:21:41,598 --> 01:21:45,769 We are thinking of hosting it there, in front of the painting. Ah, right. 1486 01:21:47,187 --> 01:21:48,872 But you... 1487 01:21:48,897 --> 01:21:50,958 You did keep changing your mind a lot, didn't you? 1488 01:21:50,983 --> 01:21:54,461 Well, actually, that was to explain my thinking to the audience, 1489 01:21:54,486 --> 01:21:56,738 so I wasn't just, you know, sat there like a muppet. 1490 01:21:58,282 --> 01:22:01,385 It's, erm, probably just that, don't you think? 1491 01:22:01,410 --> 01:22:03,495 What's "probably" what? 1492 01:22:04,538 --> 01:22:08,517 Actually, erm, Diana mentions all these tips in her book 1493 01:22:08,542 --> 01:22:10,769 that she's writing with her brother about the show. 1494 01:22:10,794 --> 01:22:13,897 What? It'll help publicise it, won't it? Being a winner. 1495 01:22:13,922 --> 01:22:16,859 You're writing a book? Oh, just a little stocking filler. 1496 01:22:16,884 --> 01:22:19,111 With hints and things about how to get onto the show, 1497 01:22:19,136 --> 01:22:21,196 how to play, just a few things that we've picked up 1498 01:22:21,221 --> 01:22:23,282 from this community of fans, that's all. 1499 01:22:23,307 --> 01:22:26,410 Gosh, that... That sound really helpful. 1500 01:22:26,435 --> 01:22:29,037 I wouldn't mention that to the press yet. No. 1501 01:22:29,062 --> 01:22:31,623 We'll... We'll have an embargo until the show airs. 1502 01:22:31,648 --> 01:22:33,734 We have to handle everything... delicately. 1503 01:22:36,862 --> 01:22:39,965 Guilty as sin. 1504 01:22:39,990 --> 01:22:43,468 Bollocks. Look, they are quiz obsessive, they're... 1505 01:22:43,493 --> 01:22:46,221 They are fans of the show, so they're a bit much, 1506 01:22:46,246 --> 01:22:47,265 but apart from that. 1507 01:22:47,290 --> 01:22:49,416 Watch the tape. Play her the tape. 1508 01:22:51,835 --> 01:22:56,315 Oh, and she's, erm, writing a book, the wife, 1509 01:22:56,340 --> 01:22:59,776 like, erm, an expose of the show. She what?! 1510 01:22:59,801 --> 01:23:02,738 Oh, my God... It's just a tiny, little stocking filler. 1511 01:23:02,763 --> 01:23:06,033 Look, I just come off the phone from some of our guys at the studio 1512 01:23:06,058 --> 01:23:08,118 who are investigating all possible, you know, and... 1513 01:23:08,143 --> 01:23:11,246 And they have gone into the car park with some sort of radio receiver 1514 01:23:11,271 --> 01:23:13,332 and they're saying it's possible 1515 01:23:13,357 --> 01:23:16,460 to listen in to the show relay from outside? 1516 01:23:16,485 --> 01:23:19,087 David, do we not scramble that signal? 1517 01:23:19,112 --> 01:23:21,673 Why would we scramble the signal? 1518 01:23:21,698 --> 01:23:24,801 How do you scramble a signal? What's this now? The relay? 1519 01:23:24,826 --> 01:23:27,930 I'm just saying that hypothetically, someone, 1520 01:23:27,955 --> 01:23:30,015 maybe someone from this... this... this group 1521 01:23:30,040 --> 01:23:33,143 could listen in to the show from outside. 1522 01:23:33,168 --> 01:23:36,271 And how would that help them? To hear the questions! 1523 01:23:36,296 --> 01:23:39,399 Look up the answers and communicate back in. 1524 01:23:39,424 --> 01:23:41,485 To who? The person in the chair?! Maybe! I don't know! 1525 01:23:41,510 --> 01:23:43,570 Or someone in the audience, with a mobile phone. 1526 01:23:43,595 --> 01:23:45,656 We don't allow mobile phones in the studio. 1527 01:23:45,681 --> 01:23:47,766 Yeah, but do we check? Course we check. 1528 01:23:49,851 --> 01:23:51,912 Do we check? 1529 01:23:51,937 --> 01:23:54,706 No. Course we don't check, how would we check? 1530 01:23:54,731 --> 01:23:56,291 You don't search the audience? 1531 01:23:56,316 --> 01:23:59,211 Let's get it all out now, shall we? After the horse has bolted. 1532 01:23:59,236 --> 01:24:02,339 This is all just happening this morning. 1533 01:24:02,364 --> 01:24:04,424 Right, it's a game show! It's not Fort Knox! 1534 01:24:04,449 --> 01:24:07,552 Whoa, wait, are we saying that it's not someone coughing, then? 1535 01:24:07,577 --> 01:24:10,681 It could be the coughing. It's definitely the coughing. 1536 01:24:10,706 --> 01:24:12,766 Either way, I'm calling the police. 1537 01:24:12,791 --> 01:24:15,394 Who would you even call? Like, which, like, branch? 1538 01:24:15,419 --> 01:24:16,937 I'll text my person to look up for IP. 1539 01:24:16,962 --> 01:24:19,022 Hold on, have they have even cashed the cheque yet? 1540 01:24:19,047 --> 01:24:21,108 Wait, have...? Have we cancelled the cheque? 1541 01:24:21,133 --> 01:24:23,193 I don't know. I mean... 1542 01:24:23,218 --> 01:24:25,278 I mean, no, we haven't cancelled the cheque, 1543 01:24:25,304 --> 01:24:28,407 I've been at the... Lionel. Should we cancel the cheque? 1544 01:24:28,432 --> 01:24:31,201 I'm just thinking, we might need to wait for them to cash the cheque 1545 01:24:31,226 --> 01:24:33,286 for it to be stealing. No, no, no, if we do that, 1546 01:24:33,312 --> 01:24:35,706 that would be entrapment, surely, by us? 1547 01:24:35,731 --> 01:24:36,749 Yeah, but if they cash the cheque, 1548 01:24:36,774 --> 01:24:38,834 do we have to sue them to get it back? 1549 01:24:38,859 --> 01:24:40,919 Am I cancelling the cheque, or aren't I?! Well... 1550 01:24:40,944 --> 01:24:45,090 No, I just don't see it. Don't you hear it?! The coughing. 1551 01:24:45,115 --> 01:24:48,218 Is that how loud it actually was? Yes. 1552 01:24:48,243 --> 01:24:51,346 Well... No, we've isolated them a bit, for you to hear... 1553 01:24:51,371 --> 01:24:53,974 Listen, you can hear the coughs at the right answers. 1554 01:24:53,999 --> 01:24:56,560 Yeah, and I can hear the coughs on the wrong answers! 1555 01:24:56,585 --> 01:24:58,645 Here. These are the people at Scotland Yard to call, 1556 01:24:58,670 --> 01:25:01,773 it's something called the Celebrity Crimes Squad or something, 1557 01:25:01,798 --> 01:25:04,568 I don't know. Really? Sounds like a shit detective show. 1558 01:25:04,593 --> 01:25:06,653 Yeah, sounds like something we'd make. Wow. 1559 01:25:06,678 --> 01:25:09,072 Wait, I'm confused, what are we saying to them? 1560 01:25:09,097 --> 01:25:11,158 That this is... There's more people? 1561 01:25:11,183 --> 01:25:13,243 That this is part of a bigger... conspiracy? 1562 01:25:13,268 --> 01:25:14,287 All I'm saying is we don't know 1563 01:25:14,312 --> 01:25:16,371 how many people were outside helping, 1564 01:25:16,396 --> 01:25:17,415 inside, helping him. 1565 01:25:17,440 --> 01:25:20,542 Yeah, but you can't pack the place out with people that you know. 1566 01:25:20,567 --> 01:25:21,735 You only get the one ticket. 1567 01:25:23,695 --> 01:25:24,738 Actually... 1568 01:25:26,823 --> 01:25:28,884 Actually, on the first night, 1569 01:25:28,909 --> 01:25:32,012 the Ingram's did have someone else there. 1570 01:25:32,037 --> 01:25:34,122 Diana's brother. 1571 01:25:35,165 --> 01:25:37,225 The brother... was there...? 1572 01:25:37,250 --> 01:25:39,336 Yeah. God dammit! 1573 01:25:42,464 --> 01:25:43,507 I'm calling the police. 1574 01:25:45,592 --> 01:25:46,611 'What a man!' 1575 01:25:46,636 --> 01:25:49,780 'A major disaster is occurring in New York City this afternoon.' 1576 01:25:49,805 --> 01:25:52,866 Wait a sec... 1577 01:25:52,891 --> 01:25:53,910 what is that? 1578 01:25:53,935 --> 01:25:55,827 'World Trade Centre is on fire. 1579 01:25:55,852 --> 01:26:00,165 'Early indications are that a Boeing 747 out of Boston 1580 01:26:00,190 --> 01:26:05,378 'collided with the tower at 1:46 PM this afternoon, 8:46 AM CET.' 1581 01:26:05,404 --> 01:26:07,506 Is that live? It must be.. 1582 01:26:07,531 --> 01:26:10,592 'Eye witness reports are coming in that the plane banked sharply 1583 01:26:10,617 --> 01:26:14,596 'and made a direct hit at around the 80th floor of the building. 1584 01:26:14,621 --> 01:26:17,891 'More as we have it. Thank you, Nicholas. 1585 01:26:17,916 --> 01:26:21,019 'As you can imagine, there is chaos in the streets of downtown New York. 1586 01:26:21,044 --> 01:26:23,980 'All major buildings are being evacuated in the area 1587 01:26:24,005 --> 01:26:26,233 'surrounding the World Trade Centre. 1588 01:26:26,258 --> 01:26:30,403 'There's been a second collision, possibly another plane goes...' 1589 01:26:30,429 --> 01:26:33,557 Are you OK? Just awful. 1590 01:26:35,642 --> 01:26:39,788 Yeah. Puts it all in perspective, doesn't it? 1591 01:26:39,813 --> 01:26:43,959 I haven't even told the chaps about our win yet, all seems a bit... 1592 01:26:43,984 --> 01:26:46,044 Actually there was a message for you from Celador 1593 01:26:46,069 --> 01:26:49,172 when I got back from school. I don't know if you... Right. 1594 01:26:49,197 --> 01:26:51,324 OK, well, life goes on, eh? 1595 01:26:53,201 --> 01:26:55,428 Yeah. 1596 01:26:55,454 --> 01:26:57,514 I love you. I love you. 1597 01:26:57,539 --> 01:26:59,624 Give me that number. 1598 01:27:01,710 --> 01:27:04,813 Detective Sergeant Sam Ferguson from the Special Inquiry Unit, 1599 01:27:04,838 --> 01:27:07,941 this is my colleague, Detective Constable Amir Cave. 1600 01:27:07,966 --> 01:27:08,985 You rang. 1601 01:27:09,010 --> 01:27:11,945 Well, I don't think any of us expected you to come today, 1602 01:27:11,970 --> 01:27:14,406 given the, erm... Yeah. 1603 01:27:14,431 --> 01:27:17,325 Terrible thing. But... 1604 01:27:17,350 --> 01:27:18,910 crimes still need solving. 1605 01:27:18,935 --> 01:27:22,539 So, we've been brought up to speed by Mr... 1606 01:27:22,564 --> 01:27:24,858 Oh, excuse me. This'll be him. 1607 01:27:30,906 --> 01:27:34,009 Hello, Paul Smith? Paul, hello. 1608 01:27:34,034 --> 01:27:36,469 It's Charles Ingram here, I was just on your show. 1609 01:27:36,495 --> 01:27:38,889 Charles, thank you for calling back. 1610 01:27:38,914 --> 01:27:41,308 Erm, so I have to tell you... 1611 01:27:41,333 --> 01:27:45,478 that we have suspicions from viewing the recording of Monday's programme 1612 01:27:45,504 --> 01:27:49,316 and subsequently studying the tapes carefully, 1613 01:27:49,341 --> 01:27:52,777 that there were irregularities during the taping of the show 1614 01:27:52,802 --> 01:27:56,948 in which you participated. Oh, Good Lord, no. 1615 01:27:56,973 --> 01:27:59,034 Because of that I have to tell you that these suspicions... 1616 01:27:59,059 --> 01:28:02,187 ..have been referred to the police. 1617 01:28:03,230 --> 01:28:07,209 Right. And thus we will not, for the moment, 1618 01:28:07,234 --> 01:28:11,571 be airing the programme, or indeed authorising payment of the cheque. 1619 01:28:12,614 --> 01:28:13,657 Right. 1620 01:28:15,742 --> 01:28:17,827 Yeah. Well, I mean, you know... 1621 01:28:19,913 --> 01:28:24,059 ..I completely refute that, obviously. 1622 01:28:24,084 --> 01:28:26,353 All right. 1623 01:28:26,378 --> 01:28:27,921 Good Lord. 1624 01:28:31,383 --> 01:28:34,511 Well, goodbye. Goodbye. 1625 01:28:43,151 --> 01:28:48,340 Police? You're an army major. I'm a teaching assistant. 1626 01:28:48,365 --> 01:28:50,634 People like us don't deal with the police, this is Wiltshire. 1627 01:28:50,659 --> 01:28:53,220 It's what he said. 1628 01:28:53,245 --> 01:28:57,724 I sort of... told our book publisher about your win 1629 01:28:57,749 --> 01:28:59,810 and they've set up this photo and interview thing 1630 01:28:59,835 --> 01:29:02,938 for this Sunday. I know the Millionaire people said not to, 1631 01:29:02,963 --> 01:29:05,023 but the publishers said it was too good not to. 1632 01:29:05,048 --> 01:29:08,151 For the book... Well, there won't be a book, will there, if...? 1633 01:29:08,176 --> 01:29:11,280 I bet it wasn't the publishers who said that, I bet it was Adrian. 1634 01:29:11,305 --> 01:29:14,408 I bet you've been speaking to him. Have you spoken to Adrian again? 1635 01:29:14,433 --> 01:29:17,536 How? If he's on the run? On the run! 1636 01:29:17,561 --> 01:29:19,621 As if that's a normal sentence for a normal person to say! 1637 01:29:19,646 --> 01:29:23,125 I'm a commissioned officer in the British Army. There are standards. 1638 01:29:23,150 --> 01:29:25,544 Come along, Buffy. 1639 01:29:25,569 --> 01:29:27,963 Wait a minute, wait a minute. How do we know that it was Celador? 1640 01:29:27,988 --> 01:29:30,048 That it was Paul Smith you spoke to? 1641 01:29:30,073 --> 01:29:32,134 It was, I returned his call, on the number they left you... 1642 01:29:32,159 --> 01:29:34,219 Yes, I know, but how do we know it's not a hoax. 1643 01:29:34,244 --> 01:29:36,305 Someone in the community, taking the mickey. 1644 01:29:36,330 --> 01:29:39,433 What...? Maybe that's what they do to everyone, everyone who wins. 1645 01:29:39,458 --> 01:29:41,518 It's not a mickey-take, Diana. 1646 01:29:41,543 --> 01:29:43,629 Well, it's a bit over the top, isn't it? 1647 01:29:45,714 --> 01:29:48,650 Call it back again, that number. No. I'm not gonna call it. 1648 01:29:48,675 --> 01:29:50,235 I want to hear it. No, I'm not gonna call it back. 1649 01:29:50,260 --> 01:29:52,679 Then I'll do it. Diana! 1650 01:29:54,056 --> 01:29:57,184 Hello. Erm, this is... Diana Ingram. 1651 01:30:00,312 --> 01:30:03,415 Hello. Hi, erm, yes, we received a phone call 1652 01:30:03,440 --> 01:30:06,543 from this number earlier and, well, it occurred to us 1653 01:30:06,568 --> 01:30:08,837 that we didn't know whether it was real, or not. 1654 01:30:08,862 --> 01:30:10,714 No, erm, no. 1655 01:30:10,739 --> 01:30:12,799 No, I'm afraid it was real. 1656 01:30:12,824 --> 01:30:14,926 This... This is Paul Smith. 1657 01:30:14,951 --> 01:30:18,013 Yes, but how do we know? 1658 01:30:18,038 --> 01:30:19,057 It could be a wind-up. Or the press. 1659 01:30:19,082 --> 01:30:21,141 Erm... 1660 01:30:21,166 --> 01:30:22,185 Well... 1661 01:30:22,210 --> 01:30:24,102 Erm... O-OK. 1662 01:30:24,127 --> 01:30:26,563 Erm, why don't you call back again 1663 01:30:26,588 --> 01:30:29,483 and I won't answer this time, 1664 01:30:29,508 --> 01:30:33,653 it'll take you through to my extension answering machine message. 1665 01:30:33,679 --> 01:30:37,824 And you'll hear that this is me, and... and this is Celador. 1666 01:30:37,849 --> 01:30:41,995 And that... that this is no wind-up, Mrs Ingram. 1667 01:30:42,020 --> 01:30:43,063 OK. 1668 01:30:59,788 --> 01:31:02,849 'Hello, you've reached Paul Smith at Celador. 1669 01:31:02,874 --> 01:31:07,020 'Leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can, thanks.' 1670 01:31:17,472 --> 01:31:19,533 We're doing that press interview. 1671 01:31:19,558 --> 01:31:22,686 You won that money. It's yours. So let's tell people. 1672 01:31:38,326 --> 01:31:42,472 We'll need to make a statement. They're cheats! 1673 01:31:42,497 --> 01:31:45,100 I just can't get my head round it. 1674 01:31:45,125 --> 01:31:49,796 That terribly nice major, a criminal mastermind? Bollocks. 1675 01:31:50,839 --> 01:31:52,899 You really didn't notice anything? 1676 01:31:52,924 --> 01:31:55,193 Well I-I suppose you've a lot going on. 1677 01:31:55,218 --> 01:31:57,612 Yeah, but I'd hope that I'd have done this enough 1678 01:31:57,637 --> 01:32:00,198 to notice if someone is trying to steal a million quid 1679 01:32:00,223 --> 01:32:01,475 two feet in front of me, Paul. 1680 01:32:03,351 --> 01:32:06,121 You all right? 1681 01:32:06,146 --> 01:32:07,522 You look ragged. 1682 01:32:09,608 --> 01:32:11,693 I feel upset, actually. 1683 01:32:13,779 --> 01:32:17,924 This... Well, this is our thing, it's our baby. 1684 01:32:17,949 --> 01:32:20,552 No-one will dare try anything like this again 1685 01:32:20,577 --> 01:32:22,329 after all this, don't you worry. 1686 01:32:24,206 --> 01:32:27,309 Who the hell was coughing? 1687 01:32:27,334 --> 01:32:29,394 So what I'm gonna show you is what we've edited together 1688 01:32:29,419 --> 01:32:31,713 of the show so far from the different angles. 1689 01:32:33,590 --> 01:32:34,983 Play VT. 1690 01:32:35,008 --> 01:32:37,736 'Googol.' 1691 01:32:37,761 --> 01:32:38,780 That cough there, then. 1692 01:32:38,805 --> 01:32:40,864 Can you ascertain where it came from? 1693 01:32:40,889 --> 01:32:41,908 Not the individual, no, 1694 01:32:41,933 --> 01:32:43,992 we don't mic up every audience member. 1695 01:32:44,017 --> 01:32:46,077 But we've got different mic tracks 1696 01:32:46,102 --> 01:32:48,163 covering different areas of the studio. 1697 01:32:48,188 --> 01:32:49,207 Now that particular cough. 1698 01:32:49,232 --> 01:32:52,359 That came from the Fastest Finger mic, stage right. 1699 01:32:53,401 --> 01:32:56,505 Play tape C. 1700 01:32:56,530 --> 01:32:58,615 One of these five, sat here. 1701 01:33:22,806 --> 01:33:24,658 I'm Detective Sergeant Ferguson. 1702 01:33:24,683 --> 01:33:26,743 Here's a warrant to enter your property. 1703 01:33:26,768 --> 01:33:29,037 I should tell you, we're placing you both under arrest 1704 01:33:29,062 --> 01:33:30,914 on suspicion of procuring the execution 1705 01:33:30,939 --> 01:33:32,999 of a valuable security by deception. 1706 01:33:33,024 --> 01:33:34,584 You do not have to say anything... 1707 01:33:34,609 --> 01:33:39,256 'What you've been told so far in the case for the prosecution...' 1708 01:33:39,281 --> 01:33:43,451 seems to make total sense, doesn't it? 1709 01:33:44,494 --> 01:33:48,640 A man, who didn't particularly like quizzes, arrived on the show, 1710 01:33:48,665 --> 01:33:52,143 behaved strangely and won a million. 1711 01:33:52,168 --> 01:33:56,982 So something must be wrong. He must have cheated. Right? 1712 01:33:57,007 --> 01:34:00,110 Your Fastest Finger First machine? You're not serious. 1713 01:34:00,135 --> 01:34:01,153 Uh, it's in the garage. 1714 01:34:01,179 --> 01:34:04,281 We'll also be wanting a draft copy of your book, Mrs Ingram. 1715 01:34:04,306 --> 01:34:06,366 My book? I-I-I... It... It's not finished. 1716 01:34:06,391 --> 01:34:09,160 I haven't even spell-checked it yet. 1717 01:34:09,185 --> 01:34:10,537 And what about our children? 1718 01:34:10,562 --> 01:34:12,622 A specially-trained officer can stay with them, 1719 01:34:12,647 --> 01:34:14,708 while you both are... No. No. 1720 01:34:14,733 --> 01:34:15,751 You are under arrest, Mrs Ingram. 1721 01:34:15,776 --> 01:34:20,655 But what if I were to tell you that it's all utter nonsense? 1722 01:34:21,865 --> 01:34:23,049 That the three defendants 1723 01:34:23,074 --> 01:34:25,135 who allegedly concocted this elaborate conspiracy 1724 01:34:25,160 --> 01:34:28,263 had never even met? 1725 01:34:28,288 --> 01:34:32,434 Something that the prosecution does not dispute. 1726 01:34:32,459 --> 01:34:34,519 That the so-called significant coughs 1727 01:34:34,544 --> 01:34:39,733 are only 19 out of a 192 recorded throughout the night? 1728 01:34:39,758 --> 01:34:45,488 Sometimes on the right answers, sometimes on the wrong answers. 1729 01:34:45,513 --> 01:34:48,074 And that there is no way of knowing that any of them 1730 01:34:48,099 --> 01:34:51,202 even came from Mr Whittock? 1731 01:34:51,227 --> 01:34:53,288 Could it simply be 1732 01:34:53,313 --> 01:34:57,484 that everyone on the show was waiting for an attack? 1733 01:34:58,526 --> 01:35:01,463 For something strange to happen? 1734 01:35:01,488 --> 01:35:03,548 And in walks Charles Ingram. 1735 01:35:03,573 --> 01:35:07,886 A, yes, eccentric, but actually quite intelligent army major... 1736 01:35:07,911 --> 01:35:11,014 and his fate was set. 1737 01:35:11,039 --> 01:35:14,142 I put it to you, that this is, in fact, 1738 01:35:14,167 --> 01:35:17,270 a series of horrible coincidences. 1739 01:35:17,295 --> 01:35:19,464 And that Major Charles Ingram is completely innocent. 1740 01:35:21,466 --> 01:35:24,569 Your honour, here is the case for the defence. 1741 01:36:16,083 --> 01:36:17,101 Hello. 1742 01:36:17,126 --> 01:36:19,186 Oh! 1743 01:36:19,211 --> 01:36:21,271 Hello. 1744 01:36:21,296 --> 01:36:23,356 Hi, I'm here to take the test. 1745 01:36:23,381 --> 01:36:24,941 You want to take the Mensa test? Yes. 1746 01:36:24,966 --> 01:36:26,510 You? 1747 01:36:27,552 --> 01:36:30,489 Me, yes. Anyone can, can't they? 1748 01:36:30,514 --> 01:36:31,723 £40, please. 1749 01:36:33,809 --> 01:36:35,702 To be accepted into Mensa, 1750 01:36:35,727 --> 01:36:39,873 you have to qualify in the top two percentile of IQ in the country. 1751 01:36:39,898 --> 01:36:42,125 Starts in five minutes. 1752 01:36:42,150 --> 01:36:45,278 Fill in this form and head through there. 1753 01:37:05,465 --> 01:37:08,193 After the Major's performance that second night, 1754 01:37:08,218 --> 01:37:11,321 you told police you heard the Ingrams arguing. 1755 01:37:11,346 --> 01:37:13,406 Yes. I remember it very clearly. 1756 01:37:13,431 --> 01:37:16,535 After all, it was so, like, odd. 1757 01:37:16,560 --> 01:37:19,663 I mean, you'd be happy, wouldn't you, 1758 01:37:19,688 --> 01:37:20,706 if you'd just become millionaires? 1759 01:37:20,731 --> 01:37:25,085 No, I'm sorry, but it's just so obvious, the signals! 1760 01:37:25,110 --> 01:37:28,004 We'll talk later! Well, that's what I heard. 1761 01:37:28,029 --> 01:37:30,090 I reckon, I know you haven't asked, 1762 01:37:30,115 --> 01:37:35,136 but I reckon the plan was for him to stop a few questions earlier. 1763 01:37:35,162 --> 01:37:38,431 So there wouldn't be so much, um, attention. 1764 01:37:38,456 --> 01:37:40,517 But he couldn't help himself. 1765 01:37:40,542 --> 01:37:43,645 And she might have been annoyed at him. 1766 01:37:43,670 --> 01:37:46,798 Because... well, look where we are. 1767 01:37:48,049 --> 01:37:51,987 The memory's a funny thing, isn't it? 1768 01:37:52,012 --> 01:37:54,114 An incredible feat of engineering. 1769 01:37:54,139 --> 01:37:57,200 It sits inside the medial temporal lobe. 1770 01:37:57,225 --> 01:38:01,371 And its most impressive function is its filing system. 1771 01:38:01,396 --> 01:38:04,499 It's better than anything a super computer could do. 1772 01:38:04,524 --> 01:38:06,585 Another of my favourite facts, 1773 01:38:06,610 --> 01:38:08,670 given that that's what this trial is all about, 1774 01:38:08,695 --> 01:38:11,840 right answers, wrong answers. 1775 01:38:11,865 --> 01:38:13,884 Knowledge. 1776 01:38:13,909 --> 01:38:19,122 Truth is that when we're remembering something... 1777 01:38:21,041 --> 01:38:23,268 ..we're not actually recalling the original event. 1778 01:38:23,293 --> 01:38:29,524 What we're doing is remembering the last time we remembered it. 1779 01:38:29,549 --> 01:38:34,738 So we are constantly wiping our pasts 1780 01:38:34,763 --> 01:38:36,865 and editing together a new one. 1781 01:38:36,890 --> 01:38:42,062 One that can make sense to us now, in the present. 1782 01:38:43,104 --> 01:38:46,233 All memories are therefore, by definition... 1783 01:38:48,318 --> 01:38:52,464 ..a lie. They change. We change them. 1784 01:38:52,489 --> 01:38:56,493 Which isn't a crime, a conspiracy. Just... 1785 01:38:57,535 --> 01:38:59,763 ..human nature. 1786 01:38:59,788 --> 01:39:02,057 We can project guilt, say, 1787 01:39:02,082 --> 01:39:06,895 back onto an event that was in fact perfectly innocent. 1788 01:39:06,920 --> 01:39:10,190 I'm sorry, but it's really bad. The signal's, um... 1789 01:39:10,215 --> 01:39:11,942 We'll talk later! 1790 01:39:11,967 --> 01:39:15,403 I am asking you all to try and resist 1791 01:39:15,428 --> 01:39:17,489 a more entertaining falsehood 1792 01:39:17,514 --> 01:39:21,660 in favour of a less extraordinary truth. 1793 01:39:21,685 --> 01:39:25,855 That Major Ingram simply knew the answers to those questions. 1794 01:39:29,025 --> 01:39:31,945 And that's why he got them right. 1795 01:39:37,325 --> 01:39:38,576 OK, let's go. 1796 01:39:40,453 --> 01:39:43,415 Diana? 1797 01:39:50,880 --> 01:39:53,984 We should tell you, we have taken in two other parties for questioning. 1798 01:39:54,009 --> 01:39:55,027 Your brother, Mrs Ingram, 1799 01:39:55,052 --> 01:39:57,112 and another contestant in the studio. 1800 01:39:57,137 --> 01:40:00,240 Another conte...? Why? Who? 1801 01:40:00,265 --> 01:40:03,368 Here's a transcript of your appearance, provided by Celador. 1802 01:40:03,393 --> 01:40:06,496 It shows, quite clearly, moments where a cough can be heard, 1803 01:40:06,521 --> 01:40:09,624 and then you, Charles, choosing a different answer. 1804 01:40:09,649 --> 01:40:11,710 Why did you change your mind so often? 1805 01:40:12,778 --> 01:40:15,880 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm ju... 1806 01:40:15,905 --> 01:40:19,009 I'm just sort of hovering above all this looking down, 1807 01:40:19,034 --> 01:40:22,137 seeing how absurd it all is. It's a game show. 1808 01:40:22,162 --> 01:40:25,265 This isn't a laughing matter, Major Ingram, it's a million pounds. 1809 01:40:25,290 --> 01:40:27,392 Your change of answer? Have you ever seen the show? 1810 01:40:27,417 --> 01:40:30,687 That's what makes the show, that's what the audience want to watch, 1811 01:40:30,712 --> 01:40:33,606 that's what the producers want. It's the... the, um... 1812 01:40:33,631 --> 01:40:35,692 the... the... the... Tension. 1813 01:40:35,717 --> 01:40:38,820 ..drama. The tension. Exactly. Mrs Ingram. 1814 01:40:38,845 --> 01:40:42,824 The book you're writing with Adrian details ways of, 1815 01:40:42,849 --> 01:40:45,452 at the very least, bending the rules or in some cases circumventing... 1816 01:40:45,477 --> 01:40:48,204 Improving your chances, that's all. 1817 01:40:48,229 --> 01:40:50,290 I have to say, and please don't take offence, 1818 01:40:50,315 --> 01:40:53,418 it wasn't the most gripping read of my life. 1819 01:40:53,443 --> 01:40:54,778 Well, it's not for people who... 1820 01:40:55,528 --> 01:40:57,614 Do you know, I do take some offence, actually. 1821 01:40:59,699 --> 01:41:03,511 Presumably you've benefitted from this manual, Charles? 1822 01:41:03,536 --> 01:41:04,888 I haven't, I haven't read... 1823 01:41:04,913 --> 01:41:06,998 I haven't actually got through it yet. 1824 01:41:12,045 --> 01:41:13,505 Do you know who Tecwen Whittock is? 1825 01:41:14,672 --> 01:41:16,357 No. 1826 01:41:16,383 --> 01:41:18,443 You have no idea your wife telephoned this man 1827 01:41:18,468 --> 01:41:21,571 on several occasions, including the night before 1828 01:41:21,596 --> 01:41:23,656 and the morning of your second appearance on the show, 1829 01:41:23,681 --> 01:41:26,826 at which he was also present? He's just a man, a fan of the show. 1830 01:41:26,851 --> 01:41:29,913 Who just happened to be a Fastest Finger First contestant 1831 01:41:29,938 --> 01:41:31,998 on the same show? 1832 01:41:32,023 --> 01:41:33,583 A show where coughing was heard 1833 01:41:33,608 --> 01:41:36,544 on occasions that correlate with moments that you, Charles, 1834 01:41:36,569 --> 01:41:38,279 changed your mind? 1835 01:41:39,322 --> 01:41:41,382 How long has this relationship with... 1836 01:41:41,408 --> 01:41:43,493 It's not a relationship! It was... 1837 01:41:45,245 --> 01:41:47,664 ..contact with someone who under... 1838 01:41:48,706 --> 01:41:50,792 Who was just a fan of the show. 1839 01:41:51,835 --> 01:41:54,938 And I know you might think that's stupid or boring or silly, 1840 01:41:54,963 --> 01:41:58,066 but I don't care. It's not bloody illegal, is it? 1841 01:41:58,091 --> 01:41:59,484 We just... 1842 01:41:59,509 --> 01:42:04,347 We just liked something a lot for a bit. That's all. 1843 01:42:13,773 --> 01:42:15,792 Oh, my God. 1844 01:42:18,945 --> 01:42:21,005 Can you park as close as you can, please? 1845 01:42:21,030 --> 01:42:23,116 Diana. 1846 01:42:24,159 --> 01:42:26,219 Were you cheating? Did you cheat? 1847 01:42:26,244 --> 01:42:29,372 Diana? Di... 1848 01:42:33,543 --> 01:42:35,603 Can you step away from the house, please? 1849 01:42:35,628 --> 01:42:38,231 I'm not... I'm not sure where the law is on this, but I don't... 1850 01:42:38,256 --> 01:42:39,774 Cheat! Cheat! 1851 01:42:39,799 --> 01:42:41,384 Get away from the house, please. 1852 01:42:49,225 --> 01:42:53,329 How they even got here, I mean, who told them? 1853 01:42:53,354 --> 01:42:55,415 It's a nightmare. This is a nightmare, isn't it? 1854 01:42:55,440 --> 01:42:58,543 I mean, they... They actually think we did it, don't they? 1855 01:42:58,568 --> 01:43:02,714 They're looking at all the pieces and putting them together like a... 1856 01:43:02,739 --> 01:43:05,842 You know, like that man that you... you called, right? 1857 01:43:05,867 --> 01:43:08,970 On your phone. Oh, my God, on the night of the show! 1858 01:43:08,995 --> 01:43:10,054 I mean, they have that on record. 1859 01:43:10,079 --> 01:43:13,141 I don't "know him" know him, Charles. 1860 01:43:13,166 --> 01:43:15,226 What they were suggesting, implying. 1861 01:43:15,251 --> 01:43:18,021 I've never spent any actual time with him. Adrian did. 1862 01:43:18,046 --> 01:43:20,481 Oh, Adrian! Of course! It's Adrian, always! 1863 01:43:20,507 --> 01:43:23,568 You follow the smoke and you follow the sound of screams 1864 01:43:23,593 --> 01:43:25,653 and there he is, and there you are, in your little... little... 1865 01:43:25,678 --> 01:43:27,739 What? What? ..family thing. 1866 01:43:27,764 --> 01:43:29,824 And I didn't even want to go on the bloody show! 1867 01:43:29,849 --> 01:43:32,952 I just got... sucked into it. 1868 01:43:32,977 --> 01:43:35,747 Why didn't you tell me you were... having conversations with him? 1869 01:43:35,772 --> 01:43:38,166 I thought you were chatting with him. I thought it was just... 1870 01:43:38,191 --> 01:43:41,294 It was just a phone call. They don't know what we were talking about. 1871 01:43:41,319 --> 01:43:42,338 It could have been anything. 1872 01:43:42,363 --> 01:43:46,507 All right, let's try this, OK? I'm the prosecuting lawyer, right? 1873 01:43:46,533 --> 01:43:50,511 And I'm asking you, "Mrs Ingram, this man, 1874 01:43:50,537 --> 01:43:52,597 "who your husband had barely any idea 1875 01:43:52,622 --> 01:43:54,015 "of the extent of the contact you had with him, 1876 01:43:54,040 --> 01:43:55,892 "what did you speak about that night?" 1877 01:43:55,917 --> 01:43:59,020 I'd just say that we were both in groups of fans, 1878 01:43:59,045 --> 01:44:01,105 and he was on the show the next day, so why wouldn't I call him? 1879 01:44:01,130 --> 01:44:04,943 Because it's about perception, Diana. 1880 01:44:04,968 --> 01:44:07,362 It's about how it looks. And how does it look? 1881 01:44:07,387 --> 01:44:10,156 What are you saying, and why are you saying it like that? 1882 01:44:10,181 --> 01:44:11,558 Because I'm angry! I'm angry! 1883 01:44:12,600 --> 01:44:16,579 And not saying it, it's the bloody policeman who's saying it. 1884 01:44:16,604 --> 01:44:17,814 Saying it right... 1885 01:44:18,856 --> 01:44:20,942 Saying it right in front of me. 1886 01:44:23,027 --> 01:44:24,195 And in front of the other... 1887 01:44:26,155 --> 01:44:29,259 ..in front of the other policeman. My... 1888 01:44:29,284 --> 01:44:30,702 That my wife... 1889 01:44:33,454 --> 01:44:37,600 I mean, have you... Do you have any idea how that feels? 1890 01:44:37,625 --> 01:44:40,728 What they were implying and suggesting? 1891 01:44:40,753 --> 01:44:42,814 Are you asking me if I..? 1892 01:44:42,839 --> 01:44:44,924 Yeah, why not? I mean, you love questions. 1893 01:44:47,719 --> 01:44:49,095 Well, there are some things... 1894 01:44:51,180 --> 01:44:54,309 There are some questions you should just know the answer to. 1895 01:44:57,478 --> 01:45:01,791 Major Ingram, Mrs Ingram. Oh... How did you guess? 1896 01:45:01,816 --> 01:45:05,753 Oh, I don't need to guess, your faces are in all the papers. 1897 01:45:05,778 --> 01:45:07,839 Come in. Come in. 1898 01:45:07,864 --> 01:45:12,010 Now, do you want a tea, coffee? Vodka? 1899 01:45:12,035 --> 01:45:14,095 I was kidding. 1900 01:45:14,120 --> 01:45:17,248 Unless of course you do, in which case, I wouldn't judge. 1901 01:45:18,666 --> 01:45:24,522 Um, you were recommended to us by Philip Jones in Reading. 1902 01:45:24,547 --> 01:45:26,607 But we... we never thought a high-profile barrister 1903 01:45:26,633 --> 01:45:30,611 would touch our case with a barge pole, because... Well, given that... 1904 01:45:30,637 --> 01:45:32,864 Oh, given that your trial's already begun in the papers. 1905 01:45:32,889 --> 01:45:34,974 Yeah. And the press. 1906 01:45:36,017 --> 01:45:38,077 Yes, well, if I represent you, 1907 01:45:38,102 --> 01:45:40,705 we're gonna have to fight this sort of thing every step of the way. 1908 01:45:40,730 --> 01:45:44,334 It's new state of play. What's the new state of play? 1909 01:45:44,359 --> 01:45:47,462 Justice as entertainment. 1910 01:45:47,487 --> 01:45:50,089 How the police communicate with the press. 1911 01:45:50,114 --> 01:45:52,675 How the press communicate with the police. 1912 01:45:52,700 --> 01:45:55,803 I don't suppose you think it was a coincidence 1913 01:45:55,828 --> 01:45:58,973 that reporters were there only minutes after you were charged? 1914 01:45:58,998 --> 01:46:02,060 Following your, er, did I get this right? 1915 01:46:02,085 --> 01:46:05,229 The "dawn raid" on your property? 1916 01:46:05,254 --> 01:46:07,273 It's a form of arrest 1917 01:46:07,298 --> 01:46:10,401 that's normally associated with murderers and paedophiles. 1918 01:46:10,426 --> 01:46:13,529 The narrative of your guilt is already being written 1919 01:46:13,554 --> 01:46:15,615 by forces far beyond your control. 1920 01:46:15,640 --> 01:46:18,743 Now, I would be happy to represent you if you want, 1921 01:46:18,768 --> 01:46:21,871 because, and forgive the presumption, 1922 01:46:21,896 --> 01:46:26,776 I have already started looking into your case in some detail and... 1923 01:46:28,152 --> 01:46:31,255 ..Major Ingram, Mrs Ingram... 1924 01:46:31,280 --> 01:46:34,409 I think something here really stinks. 1925 01:46:38,950 --> 01:46:44,205 Secrets To Help You Win At Millionaire, by Diana Ingram. 1926 01:46:46,249 --> 01:46:49,352 The things we missed. We pull on this one tiny thread 1927 01:46:49,377 --> 01:46:52,505 and what unravels is a whole bloody world of... 1928 01:46:53,548 --> 01:46:56,651 God, we were stupid. Not stupid, trusting. That's all. 1929 01:46:56,676 --> 01:47:00,822 Liddiment says he never wants to see another "effing middle-class wanker" 1930 01:47:00,847 --> 01:47:02,741 on the show ever again. 1931 01:47:02,766 --> 01:47:03,950 What are they doing? 1932 01:47:03,975 --> 01:47:10,206 Parents verses kids at physical and mental agility games. 1933 01:47:10,231 --> 01:47:11,250 That's the worst idea I've ever heard. 1934 01:47:11,275 --> 01:47:13,335 It's new ideas. 1935 01:47:13,360 --> 01:47:15,420 Well, Millionaire won't last forever. 1936 01:47:15,445 --> 01:47:17,505 Well, we're on the front page of every newspaper in the world. 1937 01:47:17,530 --> 01:47:19,424 It might. 1938 01:47:19,449 --> 01:47:21,676 An Army Major, his wife, and a college lecturer 1939 01:47:21,701 --> 01:47:22,720 have gone on trial... 1940 01:47:29,000 --> 01:47:32,103 The production staff became suspicious after they noticed 1941 01:47:32,128 --> 01:47:35,231 his answers appeared to follow coughs from another contestant. 1942 01:47:47,268 --> 01:47:50,897 Oh, hello. I believe we're charged with co-conspiracy. 1943 01:47:52,983 --> 01:47:55,276 It's nice to meet you both... at last. 1944 01:48:01,324 --> 01:48:05,470 Snacks? Really? Yeah, why not? 1945 01:48:05,495 --> 01:48:08,598 God, I love a good ITV courtroom drama. 1946 01:48:08,623 --> 01:48:10,183 Where's Paul? 1947 01:48:10,208 --> 01:48:14,896 So, 19 coughs that coincide with the Major changing his mind 1948 01:48:14,921 --> 01:48:16,940 or deciding to answer. 1949 01:48:16,965 --> 01:48:21,111 All picked up by your mics, and coming from... where? 1950 01:48:21,136 --> 01:48:23,571 Er, they were coming from the Fastest Finger seats. 1951 01:48:23,596 --> 01:48:25,281 Where Mr Whittock was sat. 1952 01:48:25,306 --> 01:48:28,410 The man whom Diana Ingram spoke to the previous evening. 1953 01:48:28,435 --> 01:48:32,580 Paying particular attention now to cough number 14, then. 1954 01:48:32,605 --> 01:48:36,751 "Who had a hit UK album with Born To Do It, released in 2000? 1955 01:48:36,776 --> 01:48:40,922 "Coldplay. Toploader. A1. Craig David". 1956 01:48:40,947 --> 01:48:44,050 In case you don't know, I certainly didn't, the answer's Craig David. 1957 01:48:46,161 --> 01:48:47,721 "I think it's A1..." 1958 01:48:47,746 --> 01:48:49,264 But it could be Toploader. 1959 01:48:49,289 --> 01:48:51,349 Which is also something to do with a barrel on a rifle. 1960 01:48:53,460 --> 01:48:56,963 "I've never heard of Craig David." 1961 01:48:58,673 --> 01:49:02,318 And take us through what we can see here. 1962 01:49:02,343 --> 01:49:05,947 Yeah, she appears to be looking over to the Fastest Finger First seat 1963 01:49:05,972 --> 01:49:08,058 where Mr Whittock is. 1964 01:49:09,100 --> 01:49:15,356 Diana Ingram, here. Looking over at Tecwen Whittock, here. 1965 01:49:16,441 --> 01:49:19,502 Any coughing at this point? 1966 01:49:19,527 --> 01:49:23,882 No, that's, that's part of the problem, see, Mr Whittock, 1967 01:49:23,907 --> 01:49:28,887 or whoever has been coughing, isn't coughing at this point. 1968 01:49:28,912 --> 01:49:32,557 Perhaps, given pop culture tends not to be a strongest of category for, 1969 01:49:32,582 --> 01:49:38,271 um, these kinds of people, er, maybe he doesn't know the answer. 1970 01:49:38,296 --> 01:49:43,485 Meanwhile, Ingram is all set to plump for the wrong answer. 1971 01:49:43,510 --> 01:49:45,570 I think I'm gonna go with A1. 1972 01:49:45,595 --> 01:49:47,655 And pause. 1973 01:49:47,680 --> 01:49:50,784 Mrs Ingram looks up in that direction 1974 01:49:50,809 --> 01:49:52,202 several times at this point. 1975 01:49:52,227 --> 01:49:53,912 What's up there? 1976 01:49:53,937 --> 01:49:57,040 So we have these monitors facing the audience, 1977 01:49:57,065 --> 01:49:59,125 so they can watch what the cameras are recording. 1978 01:49:59,150 --> 01:50:03,296 Which means presumably those monitors occasionally display 1979 01:50:03,321 --> 01:50:07,467 Mrs Ingram being filmed? She can see when she herself is on camera? 1980 01:50:07,492 --> 01:50:10,595 Yes. Although that's only when the mixer cuts to her for the monitors. 1981 01:50:10,620 --> 01:50:13,765 She's always being filmed. Hence why we have this footage of her. 1982 01:50:13,790 --> 01:50:15,809 Ah, so, 1983 01:50:15,834 --> 01:50:19,979 would someone not au fait with the inner workings of television editing 1984 01:50:20,004 --> 01:50:23,107 perhaps assume that when they are not on the monitors above them, 1985 01:50:23,133 --> 01:50:24,692 they are not being filmed? 1986 01:50:24,717 --> 01:50:26,778 After all, here we have Diana Ingram, 1987 01:50:26,803 --> 01:50:29,364 her husband hovering over the wrong answer, 1988 01:50:29,389 --> 01:50:31,449 looking at Tecwen Whittock, 1989 01:50:31,474 --> 01:50:33,535 who isn't coughing on the correct answer, 1990 01:50:33,560 --> 01:50:36,496 checking the monitors to see if she is being filmed, 1991 01:50:36,521 --> 01:50:38,273 before this happens. 1992 01:50:42,944 --> 01:50:47,090 Now, is this the first and only time that Diana Ingram coughed? 1993 01:50:47,115 --> 01:50:48,134 Yes. 1994 01:50:48,159 --> 01:50:51,803 At a moment when the phantom cougher is no longer "helping". 1995 01:50:51,828 --> 01:50:57,517 Regardless, moments later, the Major reverses his position. 1996 01:50:57,542 --> 01:51:00,645 You know, when I'm at home, um, and I'm practising, 1997 01:51:00,670 --> 01:51:05,358 you know, I guess... I guess wrong 80% of the time. 1998 01:51:05,383 --> 01:51:07,944 So... 1999 01:51:07,969 --> 01:51:10,029 I think I'm gonna go with Craig David. 2000 01:51:11,973 --> 01:51:16,286 And if that wasn't exactly subtle - watch this. The piece de resistance! 2001 01:51:16,311 --> 01:51:19,414 For £500,000... 2002 01:51:19,439 --> 01:51:24,652 "Baron Haussmann is best known for his planning of which city? 2003 01:51:25,695 --> 01:51:28,798 I think it's Berlin. 2004 01:51:30,909 --> 01:51:33,177 Your interpretation of that, Mr Duff? 2005 01:51:33,203 --> 01:51:35,430 There is no interpretation. 2006 01:51:35,455 --> 01:51:37,140 Someone says "no" on the wrong answer. 2007 01:51:37,165 --> 01:51:42,353 Thank you. Mrs Woodley will now ask you some questions for the defence. 2008 01:51:42,378 --> 01:51:44,981 Hello, Kevin. Hi. 2009 01:51:45,006 --> 01:51:47,609 That tape we were watching. 2010 01:51:47,634 --> 01:51:50,904 It was given the name Tape G? 2011 01:51:50,929 --> 01:51:54,866 So presumably there were other tapes, earlier tapes. 2012 01:52:00,104 --> 01:52:03,207 Er, yeah, sure, as we kept finding new evidence with the police. 2013 01:52:03,233 --> 01:52:07,403 So help us understand what we were watching. 2014 01:52:09,489 --> 01:52:11,925 That was edited together by yourself? 2015 01:52:11,950 --> 01:52:15,720 The plaintiffs. Celador. 2016 01:52:15,745 --> 01:52:19,057 Not the police, not an independent body? 2017 01:52:19,082 --> 01:52:23,019 Well, we've had to find a way to show the police, 2018 01:52:23,044 --> 01:52:26,147 and then you, what, you know... what happened. 2019 01:52:26,172 --> 01:52:29,275 Thank you, Mr Duff. 2020 01:52:29,300 --> 01:52:31,361 Mr Whitehurst. 2021 01:52:31,386 --> 01:52:34,489 You were a Fastest Finger First contestant on the Major's show. 2022 01:52:34,514 --> 01:52:37,825 And yet you were the only one who didn't stand to applaud when he won. 2023 01:52:37,850 --> 01:52:39,369 Why? 2024 01:52:39,394 --> 01:52:44,916 I'd spotted what was going on. I knew all of the answers, you see. 2025 01:52:44,941 --> 01:52:49,462 And on the millionaire question, and as soon as Ingram said "googol", 2026 01:52:49,487 --> 01:52:51,172 I knew it was "googol", 2027 01:52:51,197 --> 01:52:56,386 I had Whittock in my eye and I said, "Don't you dare," and he did. 2028 01:52:56,411 --> 01:52:57,429 He coughed. 2029 01:52:59,205 --> 01:53:02,642 Plain as day. No question. 2030 01:53:02,667 --> 01:53:04,727 Mr Whitehurst. 2031 01:53:04,752 --> 01:53:07,355 You didn't formally raise your suspicions 2032 01:53:07,380 --> 01:53:09,941 until after you'd read the story in the press. 2033 01:53:09,966 --> 01:53:12,026 And then when you wrote to the producers, 2034 01:53:12,051 --> 01:53:15,154 but received no reply, you went to the press yourself. 2035 01:53:15,179 --> 01:53:18,282 I thought it... important. 2036 01:53:18,308 --> 01:53:21,411 If I was the only one who'd spotted Mr Whittock coughing. 2037 01:53:21,436 --> 01:53:24,539 You said it was as plain as day, no question. 2038 01:53:24,564 --> 01:53:27,667 But in your original statement you said, 2039 01:53:27,692 --> 01:53:29,752 "It is possible that what I saw 2040 01:53:29,777 --> 01:53:32,714 "was just an amazing set of coincidences," 2041 01:53:32,739 --> 01:53:34,966 and that, "The possibility remains 2042 01:53:34,991 --> 01:53:38,094 "that I witnessed no criminal behaviour" 2043 01:53:38,119 --> 01:53:42,306 What changed since then to make you so absolutely certain here today? 2044 01:53:42,332 --> 01:53:45,935 Watch the tape! I'm sat not clapping. 2045 01:53:45,960 --> 01:53:47,520 Why, if I didn't know? 2046 01:53:47,545 --> 01:53:51,649 Because Fastest Finger First contestants share a grievance, 2047 01:53:51,674 --> 01:53:54,777 don't they, quite often, in the bar after the show? 2048 01:53:54,802 --> 01:53:57,905 About the behaviour of a certain kind of contestant in the chair? 2049 01:53:57,930 --> 01:53:59,991 What do you mean, sorry? Talkers. 2050 01:54:00,016 --> 01:54:03,119 People who take forever to answer a question. 2051 01:54:03,144 --> 01:54:06,247 Thereby denying you the chance of getting into the seat yourself? 2052 01:54:06,272 --> 01:54:08,332 Might that not have created 2053 01:54:08,358 --> 01:54:10,418 a certain kind of arms-folded annoyance? 2054 01:54:10,443 --> 01:54:12,503 I object to that, Your Honour. 2055 01:54:12,528 --> 01:54:15,631 Okeydokey. Withdrawn. No further questions. 2056 01:54:15,656 --> 01:54:16,675 In the days leading up to the show, 2057 01:54:16,700 --> 01:54:19,802 Mrs Ingram engaged in a peculiar pattern of phone calls 2058 01:54:19,827 --> 01:54:22,263 to four particular numbers, in rotation. 2059 01:54:22,288 --> 01:54:25,016 It turns out these were phone pagers. 2060 01:54:25,041 --> 01:54:28,144 We consider this to be the way they may have tried to cheat 2061 01:54:28,169 --> 01:54:29,188 on that first night. 2062 01:54:29,213 --> 01:54:32,356 The pagers could have been strapped to parts of the Major's body. 2063 01:54:32,382 --> 01:54:35,443 Buzz the left leg for A, the right leg for B, and so on. 2064 01:54:35,468 --> 01:54:38,571 But Mrs Ingram couldn't be calling pagers on the night, 2065 01:54:38,596 --> 01:54:40,656 she was on camera in the audience. 2066 01:54:40,681 --> 01:54:43,785 No. But there was someone else in the studio that night. 2067 01:54:43,810 --> 01:54:44,827 So that... 2068 01:54:44,852 --> 01:54:45,871 Excuse me. 2069 01:54:45,896 --> 01:54:50,041 So what you are saying is that plan failed 2070 01:54:50,066 --> 01:54:53,169 because Mr Pollock was unable to call on his phone. 2071 01:54:53,194 --> 01:54:57,340 Explaining, perhaps, why the Major didn't do well on night one. 2072 01:54:57,365 --> 01:55:01,511 And yet, on night two, he came back a genius. 2073 01:55:01,536 --> 01:55:05,373 The night Mr Whittock was there with his tickly cough. 2074 01:55:07,125 --> 01:55:10,937 What's the normal procedure when investigating a more, 2075 01:55:10,962 --> 01:55:15,066 I suppose, self-evident crime? 2076 01:55:15,091 --> 01:55:18,194 Say, where there is a body at the scene, and a murder weapon present. 2077 01:55:18,219 --> 01:55:20,279 Well, you establish the cause of death, 2078 01:55:20,304 --> 01:55:23,407 bag up the weapon as evidence to test for fingerprints. 2079 01:55:23,433 --> 01:55:25,493 So at what point here did you "bag up" the evidence. 2080 01:55:25,518 --> 01:55:29,664 In this case, a tape recording. Did you seize it straight away? 2081 01:55:29,689 --> 01:55:34,710 Well, no. The, er, the show kept the tape, because... 2082 01:55:34,735 --> 01:55:35,920 well, to use your metaphor, 2083 01:55:35,945 --> 01:55:39,048 they needed to add the fingerprints to it. 2084 01:55:39,073 --> 01:55:41,134 Not add them, I mean find them. 2085 01:55:41,159 --> 01:55:42,885 The coughs. 2086 01:55:42,910 --> 01:55:44,262 So you allowed the murder weapon 2087 01:55:44,287 --> 01:55:46,347 to stay with those making the accusation of murder? 2088 01:55:46,372 --> 01:55:48,432 I object. What is being suggested here? 2089 01:55:48,458 --> 01:55:49,517 Some kind of conspiracy? 2090 01:55:49,542 --> 01:55:53,646 Not conspiracy, merely that the sequence 2091 01:55:53,671 --> 01:55:57,817 in which the evidence was gathered in this unusual case was not normal. 2092 01:55:57,842 --> 01:56:00,945 Normally when a crime is committed, 2093 01:56:00,970 --> 01:56:03,030 the evidence is gathered from the scene, 2094 01:56:03,055 --> 01:56:06,159 and the police investigate to find the culprits. 2095 01:56:06,184 --> 01:56:10,329 But in this instance, you began with the alleged culprits, 2096 01:56:10,354 --> 01:56:12,623 who everyone told you were oddballs... 2097 01:56:12,648 --> 01:56:15,543 ..based on a feeling. 2098 01:56:15,568 --> 01:56:17,628 And then worked backwards... 2099 01:56:17,653 --> 01:56:19,714 I must call for quiet. 2100 01:56:19,739 --> 01:56:22,842 Everyone who has a cough, please go outside. 2101 01:56:22,867 --> 01:56:25,970 DS Ferguson? Is that...? 2102 01:56:25,995 --> 01:56:28,055 Members of the jury, please! 2103 01:56:28,080 --> 01:56:30,141 If I may be allowed to finish... 2104 01:56:32,251 --> 01:56:34,353 Order! Order! 2105 01:56:34,378 --> 01:56:37,982 Or I shall... 2106 01:56:38,007 --> 01:56:40,593 ..I shall have to suspend the session. 2107 01:56:43,721 --> 01:56:47,867 I'm sorry. It's just the pantomime of it all. 2108 01:56:47,892 --> 01:56:52,038 I'm embarrassed sometimes, really am. 2109 01:56:52,063 --> 01:56:55,191 No. Ignore it. We do. 2110 01:56:57,276 --> 01:56:59,545 It's not going that well, is it? 2111 01:56:59,570 --> 01:57:03,507 It's all right. A game of two halves. 2112 01:57:03,533 --> 01:57:05,593 Wait till we get a chance to fight back. 2113 01:57:05,618 --> 01:57:07,678 People are laughing at us. I really don't know what's worse, 2114 01:57:07,703 --> 01:57:09,764 people thinking we're criminals or idiots. 2115 01:57:09,789 --> 01:57:11,874 There are worse things to be accused of. 2116 01:57:12,917 --> 01:57:17,063 Let me ask you this, then. Why haven't you even mentioned that? 2117 01:57:17,088 --> 01:57:21,275 Hm? Your sodding badge, you think I hadn't noticed? 2118 01:57:21,300 --> 01:57:25,404 You've got the press screaming questions at you day in, day out, 2119 01:57:25,429 --> 01:57:29,408 which our opponents are happily answering to guide the narra... 2120 01:57:29,433 --> 01:57:30,826 I don't want to boast about it, do I? 2121 01:57:30,851 --> 01:57:33,746 I don't... It's there, for all to see. I do it for my... 2122 01:57:33,771 --> 01:57:35,831 for myself, as much as anything else. 2123 01:57:37,775 --> 01:57:42,088 Yes, all right, hilarious, coughing! 2124 01:57:42,113 --> 01:57:45,241 You get the Nobel Prize for... comedy. 2125 01:57:46,993 --> 01:57:48,344 I don't actually think there is a... 2126 01:57:48,369 --> 01:57:51,497 Nobel Prize for comedy, yes, thank you. 2127 01:57:52,540 --> 01:57:53,583 Right. 2128 01:57:56,711 --> 01:57:57,753 Come on. 2129 01:57:59,839 --> 01:58:01,899 Mummy and Daddy finished early today, 2130 01:58:01,924 --> 01:58:05,027 so we decided we'd pick you up instead of Grandad. 2131 01:58:05,052 --> 01:58:07,138 That's nice, isn't it? 2132 01:58:12,352 --> 01:58:16,163 We thought maybe we'd have pizzas tonight, yum. 2133 01:58:18,608 --> 01:58:21,711 Who are they? Are they friends of yours? 2134 01:58:21,736 --> 01:58:23,821 Not any more. 2135 01:58:25,906 --> 01:58:30,077 It's going to be all right. I promise. 2136 01:58:31,120 --> 01:58:33,180 Some silly people just think 2137 01:58:33,205 --> 01:58:35,266 Mummy and Daddy did that silly thing, that's all. 2138 01:58:35,291 --> 01:58:37,376 Well, did you? 2139 01:58:44,675 --> 01:58:47,778 We might need to consider taking them out of school for a bit maybe. 2140 01:58:47,803 --> 01:58:49,889 I don't know, it's.. 2141 01:58:51,974 --> 01:58:54,060 Then again, if the worst happens... 2142 01:58:55,102 --> 01:58:57,229 ..we might need to make plans for, er... 2143 01:58:59,273 --> 01:59:01,334 ..for prison. Then we need to think... 2144 01:59:04,487 --> 01:59:07,615 Adrian. Oh, leave it. Please. Leave... 2145 01:59:08,658 --> 01:59:12,636 Hello? Hey. Hi. You OK? 2146 01:59:12,662 --> 01:59:14,221 I just wanted to say hello, really. 2147 01:59:14,246 --> 01:59:19,060 I'm fine. Can I call you... 'It's just a quick thing, really.' 2148 01:59:19,085 --> 01:59:21,854 Er, cos the publisher's been on at me, you know. Again... 2149 01:59:21,879 --> 01:59:26,359 And, er, look, if you do get off, and you never know, then... 2150 01:59:26,384 --> 01:59:29,487 I'm in court every day, Adrian, I can't think about the book. 2151 01:59:29,512 --> 01:59:33,657 OK, OK, OK, I know. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know. 2152 01:59:33,683 --> 01:59:36,786 Let's just talk tomorrow. No, just stop, just stop. 2153 01:59:36,811 --> 01:59:39,939 I just need some space, please. Enough. 2154 01:59:46,195 --> 01:59:49,323 Um, can I... Can I bring you a cup of tea? 2155 01:59:53,327 --> 01:59:54,537 I'm sorry. 2156 01:59:56,622 --> 01:59:58,682 I'm so sorry, Charles. 2157 01:59:58,708 --> 02:00:01,811 No. No, no, no. No, don't do that. 2158 02:00:01,836 --> 02:00:02,854 Don't do that. 2159 02:00:02,879 --> 02:00:05,981 Thanks, but no. It's all right. 2160 02:00:06,006 --> 02:00:08,067 It's both of us in this together. 2161 02:00:08,092 --> 02:00:11,220 That stupid show! 2162 02:00:16,434 --> 02:00:17,493 Are we going to go to jail? 2163 02:00:17,518 --> 02:00:19,537 No. 2164 02:00:19,562 --> 02:00:21,147 I don't know. 2165 02:00:22,690 --> 02:00:24,750 But I know that I love you. 2166 02:00:24,775 --> 02:00:28,921 No... No asking the audience, or phoning a friend, I love you. 2167 02:00:28,946 --> 02:00:31,031 I love you. 2168 02:00:32,074 --> 02:00:34,160 I love you. 2169 02:00:44,587 --> 02:00:46,647 Mr Tarrant! Mr Tarrant! 2170 02:00:51,256 --> 02:00:54,360 I swear by almighty God that the evidence I shall give 2171 02:00:54,385 --> 02:00:58,530 shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. 2172 02:00:58,555 --> 02:01:00,616 Mr Tarrant, a pleasure to have you here today. 2173 02:01:00,641 --> 02:01:02,701 Well, it's a pleas... 2174 02:01:02,726 --> 02:01:04,787 Well, it's not a pleasure, but thank you. 2175 02:01:04,812 --> 02:01:07,915 How would you rate the Major's performance on that first night? 2176 02:01:07,940 --> 02:01:12,294 Has anyone done worse? Has anyone, say, got the first question wrong? 2177 02:01:12,319 --> 02:01:16,256 Uh, no. not here. Think someone did once in America. 2178 02:01:19,410 --> 02:01:21,303 And when you saw the tapes yourself, 2179 02:01:21,328 --> 02:01:23,580 you began to think that something was amiss. 2180 02:01:24,623 --> 02:01:27,726 If pushed, sure. Is that your final answer? 2181 02:01:32,965 --> 02:01:37,111 Mr, Tarrant, what information or guidance do you get 2182 02:01:37,136 --> 02:01:38,529 when you're in the chair? 2183 02:01:38,554 --> 02:01:42,533 Do you wear an earpiece, are you hooked up to the show relay? 2184 02:01:42,558 --> 02:01:46,495 Er, no, no. No earpiece, I find them really annoying. 2185 02:01:46,520 --> 02:01:50,165 Er, so I'm out there completely alone. Er, just me... 2186 02:01:50,190 --> 02:01:51,709 and the contestant. 2187 02:01:51,734 --> 02:01:53,794 I don't know the questions in advance, no-one does. 2188 02:01:53,819 --> 02:01:57,965 They're selected by a computer, which is secured in a sealed room, 2189 02:01:57,990 --> 02:02:01,135 where only two senior producers are allowed access at any one time. 2190 02:02:01,160 --> 02:02:04,263 For each contestant, it generates a random stack of 15 questions, 2191 02:02:04,288 --> 02:02:06,306 that could then be locked. 2192 02:02:06,331 --> 02:02:09,435 They're not written on cards that can be lost, or stolen. 2193 02:02:09,460 --> 02:02:13,605 And, er, I don't know the answers till the contestant says 2194 02:02:13,630 --> 02:02:16,734 "final answer" and my screen locks. 2195 02:02:16,759 --> 02:02:20,571 So I can't give away any hints or accidental signs. 2196 02:02:20,596 --> 02:02:24,032 Right, so, just for the record, on the night, 2197 02:02:24,058 --> 02:02:27,186 did you hear any suspicious coughing behind Mr Ingram? 2198 02:02:30,314 --> 02:02:33,417 No, I didn't. 2199 02:02:33,442 --> 02:02:35,527 Did you notice anything suspicious at all? 2200 02:02:37,446 --> 02:02:38,630 No. 2201 02:02:38,655 --> 02:02:40,741 Thank you, Mr Tarrant. 2202 02:02:45,954 --> 02:02:50,100 "Tarrant was unaware of strategic coughing in quiz." 2203 02:02:50,125 --> 02:02:52,186 Well, that's not very helpful, is it? 2204 02:02:52,211 --> 02:02:54,271 Well, it's Chris, he'll say what he likes. 2205 02:02:54,296 --> 02:02:57,399 Well, what would you know anyway? You've not even been at the trial. 2206 02:02:57,424 --> 02:02:59,485 I don't know why, your mind is always there. 2207 02:02:59,510 --> 02:03:02,613 Well, to be honest, the whole thing is one long, 2208 02:03:02,638 --> 02:03:06,784 pretty bloody stressful pain in the arse, I just want it done. 2209 02:03:06,809 --> 02:03:09,912 What do you think about a documentary? Once the trial's over? 2210 02:03:09,937 --> 02:03:12,022 Oh, Jesus. 2211 02:03:13,065 --> 02:03:15,192 Looks like I don't have a choice. 2212 02:03:18,278 --> 02:03:24,551 OK, and so, um, we thought a new school for a bit, 2213 02:03:24,576 --> 02:03:26,595 might take the pressure off. 2214 02:03:26,620 --> 02:03:29,723 Urgh! What's that? 2215 02:03:29,748 --> 02:03:32,876 OK, girls, upstairs, now. 2216 02:03:44,346 --> 02:03:46,431 Buffy! Oh, my God! 2217 02:03:48,517 --> 02:03:49,536 She'll be OK. 2218 02:03:49,561 --> 02:03:52,688 What happened? I think somebody accidentally... 2219 02:03:53,730 --> 02:03:56,834 ..caught him at the front of the house with a pellet gun 2220 02:03:56,859 --> 02:03:58,944 or an air rifle. Accidently. 2221 02:04:21,884 --> 02:04:23,944 Is that that coughing Millionaire dude? 2222 02:04:27,097 --> 02:04:30,200 Oh, yeah, very good. Very funny. All right, all right. 2223 02:04:30,225 --> 02:04:31,285 Oi! 2224 02:04:33,353 --> 02:04:36,456 How dare you! How dare you! Hey, hold on. 2225 02:04:36,481 --> 02:04:38,542 Do you make a habit of spitting at people? 2226 02:04:38,567 --> 02:04:39,586 You can back off as well. Oi! 2227 02:04:39,611 --> 02:04:41,695 He just spat in my face! Leave him. 2228 02:04:42,738 --> 02:04:44,798 Seen it before. 2229 02:04:44,823 --> 02:04:47,926 They go after military men, it's good sport. 2230 02:04:47,951 --> 02:04:52,097 Even when we're engaged in the most, heavens, 2231 02:04:52,122 --> 02:04:54,725 difficult operations in a generation. 2232 02:04:54,750 --> 02:04:58,896 This chap. Information minister of Iraq. 2233 02:04:58,921 --> 02:05:01,481 Becoming an actual TV star, 2234 02:05:01,506 --> 02:05:04,610 making the most outrageous assertions about there being 2235 02:05:04,635 --> 02:05:08,447 no allied tanks outside Baghdad at all. 2236 02:05:08,472 --> 02:05:10,866 Say something loud enough, long enough, 2237 02:05:10,891 --> 02:05:13,994 maybe it becomes de facto true. 2238 02:05:14,019 --> 02:05:17,122 Yeah. Weapons of mass destruction hidden in the desert. 2239 02:05:17,147 --> 02:05:19,207 Yes, all right, Charles, come along. 2240 02:05:19,233 --> 02:05:23,378 The thinking is... maybe take some time off. 2241 02:05:23,403 --> 02:05:26,506 Try to keep your head down, you know. Yes? 2242 02:05:26,531 --> 02:05:28,617 Yes, yeah. 2243 02:05:29,660 --> 02:05:33,830 Yes, of course, yeah. Very, um... Very sensible. 2244 02:05:42,172 --> 02:05:45,275 Sorry, sir. Sorry. No, no, no. It's all right. 2245 02:05:45,300 --> 02:05:47,386 You're... You're all right. 2246 02:05:51,556 --> 02:05:54,685 Never fear. It's our turn now. 2247 02:05:55,727 --> 02:05:57,813 Come on. It's time to turn this thing around. 2248 02:05:59,898 --> 02:06:01,959 Thank you. 2249 02:06:01,984 --> 02:06:05,963 Professor Alyn Morice, specialist in Respiratory Medicine. 2250 02:06:05,988 --> 02:06:08,215 An expert on coughing, then. 2251 02:06:08,240 --> 02:06:11,176 You've examined Mr Whittock? Yes. 2252 02:06:11,201 --> 02:06:14,471 He suffers from three conditions that cause chronic coughing. 2253 02:06:14,496 --> 02:06:18,684 He tested positive for perennial rhinitis, hay fever, 2254 02:06:18,709 --> 02:06:20,727 and cough variant asthma. 2255 02:06:20,752 --> 02:06:23,855 So, for the avoidance of doubt... Mr Whittock has a cough. 2256 02:06:23,880 --> 02:06:29,069 Yes, and one that would be hard to hide in a hot and dry studio. 2257 02:06:29,094 --> 02:06:34,282 So hang on, Mr Whittock is basically unable to control his cough? 2258 02:06:34,308 --> 02:06:37,411 I mean, that's sort of extraordinary, isn't it? 2259 02:06:37,436 --> 02:06:38,996 That Ingram should choose, as a candidate 2260 02:06:39,021 --> 02:06:42,624 to implement an intricate plan of coughing discreetly 2261 02:06:42,649 --> 02:06:45,752 but precisely at specific times and places, 2262 02:06:45,777 --> 02:06:47,838 a man with an uncontrollable cough? 2263 02:06:47,863 --> 02:06:52,009 Yes, I suppose it's not ideal. Thank you, Professor Morice. 2264 02:06:52,034 --> 02:06:54,094 No questions, Your Honour. 2265 02:06:54,119 --> 02:06:57,764 Mr Whittock. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire 2266 02:06:57,789 --> 02:07:00,350 wasn't the first show you appeared on, was it? 2267 02:07:00,375 --> 02:07:02,436 Um. No, I've, I've been on... er, let me see, 2268 02:07:02,461 --> 02:07:05,230 Fifteen To One, Sale Of The Century. 2269 02:07:05,255 --> 02:07:08,692 And is it fair to say you've never done astronomically well? 2270 02:07:08,717 --> 02:07:11,820 I do OK. What's the most you've ever won? 2271 02:07:11,845 --> 02:07:15,991 Oh, I did win a doggy bed made of silk on Brain Of Britain. 2272 02:07:16,016 --> 02:07:19,119 And on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 2273 02:07:19,144 --> 02:07:20,163 1,000. 2274 02:07:20,188 --> 02:07:24,358 Were you part of what might be loosely termed this quiz community? 2275 02:07:26,276 --> 02:07:30,614 I enjoyed having a connection to people of a shared interest, yes. 2276 02:07:32,699 --> 02:07:35,035 Now, you didn't have the easiest of upbringings, did you? 2277 02:07:36,870 --> 02:07:39,973 You were born in a psychiatric hospital, 2278 02:07:39,998 --> 02:07:42,059 where your mother was a patient. 2279 02:07:42,084 --> 02:07:44,144 Raised in foster homes. 2280 02:07:44,169 --> 02:07:48,690 And yet despite all that, you became a teacher. 2281 02:07:48,715 --> 02:07:51,443 And you have a family of your own now, too. 2282 02:07:51,468 --> 02:07:52,487 Yes. Yes. 2283 02:07:52,512 --> 02:07:54,596 Would you risk all that? 2284 02:07:55,639 --> 02:07:57,365 Are you the third mastermind 2285 02:07:57,391 --> 02:08:00,827 in a conspiracy to steal a million pounds, Mr Whittock? 2286 02:08:00,852 --> 02:08:02,604 I would never do anything like that. 2287 02:08:03,814 --> 02:08:05,023 I would never cheat. 2288 02:08:43,603 --> 02:08:45,689 It's you. 2289 02:08:49,693 --> 02:08:53,171 You tricked me. No, it's not what you think. 2290 02:08:53,196 --> 02:08:56,091 I just wanted to meet, all right? It's not illegal, what we do. 2291 02:08:56,116 --> 02:08:58,176 I know. Those were your weaknesses, 2292 02:08:58,201 --> 02:09:01,304 your vulnerabilities that you left in your own system. 2293 02:09:01,329 --> 02:09:03,415 I'm not trying to trap you. 2294 02:09:05,500 --> 02:09:09,646 Please, come, come and have a drink. I tip my hat to you, you beat us. 2295 02:09:09,671 --> 02:09:13,859 I just... I want to know how far you got. 2296 02:09:13,884 --> 02:09:17,988 Well, if it's any consolation, we've started to move on to other shows, 2297 02:09:18,013 --> 02:09:23,201 other prizes now. And I'm... I'm thinking of retiring. 2298 02:09:23,226 --> 02:09:27,372 You know, putting a time limit on answering the call backs? 2299 02:09:27,397 --> 02:09:32,586 That was... Well done, that really knocked us for six. 2300 02:09:32,611 --> 02:09:34,671 Thank you. Fair play. 2301 02:09:34,696 --> 02:09:37,799 We realised you were pulling your new "closest-to" questions 2302 02:09:37,824 --> 02:09:39,926 from the National Statistics database. So we did, too. 2303 02:09:39,951 --> 02:09:43,013 Populations, travel, economic forecasts, 2304 02:09:43,038 --> 02:09:44,431 births, deaths and marriages. 2305 02:09:44,456 --> 02:09:48,226 And if I only had seven seconds now to find the answer for my client, 2306 02:09:48,251 --> 02:09:52,397 then, well, I just had to train. 2307 02:09:52,422 --> 02:09:55,525 Two months of my life, I didn't leave the house. 2308 02:09:55,550 --> 02:09:58,653 And from now on, if a client would get a call back at home, 2309 02:09:58,678 --> 02:10:01,848 they'd just hold up their mobile so I could hear. 2310 02:10:03,892 --> 02:10:07,871 And we did it, I got there. 2311 02:10:07,896 --> 02:10:12,209 Seven seconds, and I could find the right fact in the right place 2312 02:10:12,234 --> 02:10:15,337 and relay it back to them over the phone. 2313 02:10:15,362 --> 02:10:19,533 How... How many people did you get into my chair? 2314 02:10:20,575 --> 02:10:23,703 I'd say... hundreds. 2315 02:10:28,917 --> 02:10:30,835 Hu... 2316 02:10:36,216 --> 02:10:38,276 Hundreds? 2317 02:10:38,301 --> 02:10:43,490 If you really wanna know how well we penetrated your fortress, 2318 02:10:43,515 --> 02:10:46,618 I worked out how much prize money you've given away 2319 02:10:46,643 --> 02:10:47,662 throughout the run of the show. 2320 02:10:47,687 --> 02:10:50,814 And how much of that was won by our organisation. 2321 02:10:51,898 --> 02:10:54,985 It's at least 10%. 2322 02:11:03,326 --> 02:11:07,305 One pound, in every ten... 2323 02:11:07,330 --> 02:11:08,540 was you? Sorry. 2324 02:11:09,583 --> 02:11:11,643 Why are you retiring? 2325 02:11:11,668 --> 02:11:14,604 Well, in truth, it's an expensive outfit to run 2326 02:11:14,629 --> 02:11:16,856 and it only returns value if you've got the clients, 2327 02:11:16,881 --> 02:11:19,985 and those clients are drying up. 2328 02:11:20,010 --> 02:11:23,321 People who devote themselves to the acquirement of knowledge. 2329 02:11:23,346 --> 02:11:25,223 In order to cheat for money. 2330 02:11:26,808 --> 02:11:30,412 You might think me a chancer, Mr Smith, 2331 02:11:30,437 --> 02:11:32,497 but I see which way the wind blows. 2332 02:11:32,522 --> 02:11:33,607 Google? 2333 02:11:35,650 --> 02:11:37,711 For the quizzing fraternity, 2334 02:11:37,736 --> 02:11:41,239 we're the artisan weavers and Google's the power loom. 2335 02:11:42,949 --> 02:11:47,095 Yeah. The bottom's falling out of the truth market, Mr Smith. 2336 02:11:47,120 --> 02:11:50,248 So, I'm cashing in my shares and getting out. 2337 02:11:51,291 --> 02:11:53,376 You might want to consider doing the same. 2338 02:11:55,462 --> 02:11:57,522 Oh, maybe I will. 2339 02:11:57,547 --> 02:12:00,483 Once these particular clients of yours are in jail. 2340 02:12:00,508 --> 02:12:02,761 Oh, those two? They weren't clients. 2341 02:12:04,679 --> 02:12:06,906 But... There were hundreds of us, Paul, 2342 02:12:06,931 --> 02:12:09,367 everywhere, without you realising it. 2343 02:12:09,392 --> 02:12:14,205 But Charles and Diana Ingram were never one of ours. 2344 02:12:14,230 --> 02:12:15,649 They were never ours. 2345 02:12:22,186 --> 02:12:23,270 Mrs Ingram. 2346 02:12:27,066 --> 02:12:30,502 What is it about quizzes that so captivated you? 2347 02:12:30,527 --> 02:12:33,655 Captivates you still? I don't know. 2348 02:12:35,741 --> 02:12:38,844 I suppose I like the idea, in a world of uncertainties, 2349 02:12:38,869 --> 02:12:40,954 that... that something can be known. 2350 02:12:44,083 --> 02:12:48,228 Calling the four pagers over and over. 2351 02:12:48,253 --> 02:12:50,314 Your explanation for that? 2352 02:12:50,339 --> 02:12:52,399 Adrian. My brother. 2353 02:12:52,424 --> 02:12:54,485 It was just our way of keeping in touch after he left. 2354 02:12:54,510 --> 02:12:56,570 And I never knew which one had battery, 2355 02:12:56,595 --> 02:12:58,655 so I'd always call all four. 2356 02:12:58,680 --> 02:13:01,283 I wanted let him know that Charles had got on to the show. 2357 02:13:01,308 --> 02:13:04,912 And presumably that's why he turned up at the studio later that night? 2358 02:13:04,937 --> 02:13:08,065 He was as big a fan as you. Bigger? 2359 02:13:09,983 --> 02:13:12,211 The calls you tried to make outside, on that first night? 2360 02:13:12,236 --> 02:13:14,296 Were to our father. 2361 02:13:14,321 --> 02:13:17,424 He's a bigger quiz fan than any of us. 2362 02:13:17,449 --> 02:13:20,552 And he regretted so badly that he was too weak to come. 2363 02:13:20,577 --> 02:13:23,013 Now, the quizzing community have their own theory about the show, 2364 02:13:23,038 --> 02:13:26,308 haven't they? Oh, yes, well we think, thought, 2365 02:13:26,333 --> 02:13:28,894 the producers were trying to keep people like us off the show. 2366 02:13:28,919 --> 02:13:31,188 Not entertaining enough. 2367 02:13:31,213 --> 02:13:34,107 So we called it being "chair-wise". 2368 02:13:34,133 --> 02:13:36,193 Er, performing for the camera 2369 02:13:36,218 --> 02:13:40,364 so you might get easier questions and they'd keep you there longer. 2370 02:13:40,389 --> 02:13:42,449 I object to that, Your Honour. 2371 02:13:42,474 --> 02:13:44,535 As Chris Tarrant himself explained, 2372 02:13:44,560 --> 02:13:47,663 the questions are locked from the very beginning by computer. 2373 02:13:47,688 --> 02:13:49,748 The point is, Your Honour, 2374 02:13:49,773 --> 02:13:52,876 it doesn't matter if the theory is nonsense or not. 2375 02:13:52,901 --> 02:13:54,987 My client thought it was true. 2376 02:13:58,115 --> 02:14:01,285 Now, the prosecution has made a lot of your "suspicious behaviour". 2377 02:14:03,328 --> 02:14:05,931 Were you looking at the monitors to check if you were being watched? 2378 02:14:05,956 --> 02:14:07,307 No. 2379 02:14:07,332 --> 02:14:10,602 They deliberately seat you so you're facing the back of your partner. 2380 02:14:10,627 --> 02:14:13,730 And so the monitor is the only way to see them. 2381 02:14:13,755 --> 02:14:17,926 You wanted to look at the face of the man you love. 2382 02:14:19,344 --> 02:14:21,763 You helped him prepare, didn't you? 2383 02:14:24,183 --> 02:14:28,537 Right, you need to trust me, OK? Yes, ma'am, dib-dib, dob-dob. 2384 02:14:28,562 --> 02:14:30,414 You need to learn to be more entertaining. 2385 02:14:30,439 --> 02:14:33,375 Questions are becoming more populist. Popular culture. 2386 02:14:33,400 --> 02:14:35,627 Adrian says it's a form of censorship, 2387 02:14:35,652 --> 02:14:36,671 to get people like you off quicker. 2388 02:14:36,696 --> 02:14:39,798 Which means we'll need to bone up on that, too, your weakest area. 2389 02:14:39,823 --> 02:14:41,884 Sports, soaps, pop. Oh, hells bells. 2390 02:14:41,909 --> 02:14:45,012 Oh, it's just training manoeuvres. Getting fit. 2391 02:14:45,037 --> 02:14:46,055 I believe in you. 2392 02:14:46,080 --> 02:14:50,250 It's Steps. No, Sugababes. 2393 02:14:52,336 --> 02:14:55,464 No, no, no it's Steps. Steps. 2394 02:14:58,592 --> 02:15:00,861 Sugababes. Sugababes. 2395 02:15:00,886 --> 02:15:04,823 ♪ I'll be there... ♪ 2396 02:15:04,848 --> 02:15:07,951 OK, so who's that? Mr Blobby. 2397 02:15:07,976 --> 02:15:10,245 No, Charles. I don't know. I don't know. 2398 02:15:10,270 --> 02:15:12,122 How am I supposed to know that? 2399 02:15:12,147 --> 02:15:15,250 In Emmerdale, how did the following characters die? 2400 02:15:15,275 --> 02:15:17,711 Alex Oakwell. Fell off a roof. 2401 02:15:17,736 --> 02:15:19,421 Butch Dingle. Hit by a bus. 2402 02:15:19,446 --> 02:15:22,925 Rachel Hughes. She, er, was pushed off a cliff. 2403 02:15:22,950 --> 02:15:25,677 Elizabeth Pollard. A plane landed on top of her. 2404 02:15:25,702 --> 02:15:26,721 Yes! Yes! 2405 02:15:26,746 --> 02:15:28,805 I know who you are, the next time I see you... 2406 02:15:28,830 --> 02:15:30,057 Oh, it's gone. 2407 02:15:30,082 --> 02:15:32,976 '..I'm gonna tan your backside.' Don't tell me. Don't tell me. 2408 02:15:33,001 --> 02:15:36,104 Um... 'You hear me?' 2409 02:15:36,129 --> 02:15:40,817 In the song Seven Days, what did Craig David do on Tuesday? 2410 02:15:40,842 --> 02:15:43,403 He took her for a drink. And on Wednesday? 2411 02:15:43,428 --> 02:15:45,489 I believe they were making love by then, 2412 02:15:45,514 --> 02:15:47,240 and they continued to do so 2413 02:15:47,266 --> 02:15:49,660 throughout Thursday and Friday as well. 2414 02:15:49,685 --> 02:15:51,745 And then on Sunday? They just chilled. 2415 02:15:51,770 --> 02:15:52,789 Right! 2416 02:16:00,112 --> 02:16:02,172 'There may be trouble ahead, 2417 02:16:02,197 --> 02:16:08,453 'but while there's moonlight and music and love and romance...' 2418 02:16:10,539 --> 02:16:14,710 ♪ Let's face the music and dance! ♪ 2419 02:16:19,923 --> 02:16:24,069 ♪ Who wants to be a millionaire? I don't! 2420 02:16:24,094 --> 02:16:28,240 ♪ Have flashy flunkies everywhere? I don't! 2421 02:16:28,265 --> 02:16:32,411 ♪ Who wants the bother Of a country estate? 2422 02:16:32,436 --> 02:16:36,581 ♪ A country estate Is something I'd hate 2423 02:16:36,606 --> 02:16:41,795 ♪ Who wants to wallow in champagne? I don't! 2424 02:16:41,820 --> 02:16:47,009 ♪ Who wants a supersonic plane? I don't! 2425 02:16:47,034 --> 02:16:50,137 ♪ Who wants A marble swimming pool too? 2426 02:16:50,162 --> 02:16:51,888 I don't! 2427 02:16:51,913 --> 02:16:55,917 ♪ And I don't Cos all I want is you. ♪ 2428 02:16:58,503 --> 02:17:03,383 If that's true, all this training, why didn't it work? 2429 02:17:05,135 --> 02:17:07,554 You forgot who Craig David was! 2430 02:17:10,349 --> 02:17:13,101 I guess... it just wouldn't go in. 2431 02:17:14,144 --> 02:17:16,204 Everyone always said, "Why did you... 2432 02:17:16,229 --> 02:17:18,290 "Why did you struggle on the easy questions 2433 02:17:18,315 --> 02:17:20,375 "and sail through the hard ones?" And, um... 2434 02:17:20,400 --> 02:17:27,007 Well, the easy ones were hard to me, and, um, the hard ones... 2435 02:17:27,032 --> 02:17:29,426 they just got easier. 2436 02:17:29,451 --> 02:17:31,845 But on Craig David. 2437 02:17:31,870 --> 02:17:33,930 Why? 2438 02:17:33,955 --> 02:17:36,016 Why did you change your answer from A1? 2439 02:17:36,041 --> 02:17:40,187 Well, you can hear it. Listen. You can hear the gasp. 2440 02:17:40,212 --> 02:17:41,772 I think I'm gonna go with A1. 2441 02:17:43,340 --> 02:17:48,528 One of Diana's best tips. Always listen to the audience. 2442 02:17:48,553 --> 02:17:52,699 If you're found guilty, you'll be decommissioned from the army... 2443 02:17:52,724 --> 02:17:56,870 face certain bankruptcy, possible prison sentence. 2444 02:17:56,895 --> 02:18:03,126 People have attacked your house, slashed your tyres, shot your dog. 2445 02:18:03,151 --> 02:18:06,254 And "cough, cough, cough", everywhere you go. 2446 02:18:06,279 --> 02:18:11,468 Why did you put yourself through all that? For a game. 2447 02:18:11,493 --> 02:18:13,553 I didn't. 2448 02:18:13,578 --> 02:18:15,664 Because I didn't cheat. 2449 02:18:19,835 --> 02:18:21,920 So what did you do? 2450 02:18:22,963 --> 02:18:28,176 I just... tried to be... entertaining. 2451 02:18:29,428 --> 02:18:32,322 And to get the questions right. 2452 02:18:32,347 --> 02:18:34,433 And to do my wife proud. 2453 02:18:55,287 --> 02:18:58,390 Take the book in your left hand and read aloud from the card, please. 2454 02:18:58,415 --> 02:19:00,475 I swear by almighty God... 2455 02:19:00,500 --> 02:19:02,561 Mr Smith. 2456 02:19:02,586 --> 02:19:04,671 Thank you for joining us today. 2457 02:19:06,756 --> 02:19:09,860 Is it fair to say you took a while to be convinced yourself, 2458 02:19:09,885 --> 02:19:11,945 about this coughing theory? 2459 02:19:11,970 --> 02:19:15,073 Yes. I wanted to give the Major the benefit of the doubt. 2460 02:19:15,098 --> 02:19:19,244 Um, but as soon as you begin watching, and listening... 2461 02:19:19,269 --> 02:19:21,705 Once you are told there are coughs, it's hard to unhear them. 2462 02:19:21,730 --> 02:19:24,457 So these are 19 coughs that you isolated, 2463 02:19:24,483 --> 02:19:27,586 that occurred on the correct answers. 2464 02:19:27,611 --> 02:19:30,380 Do you know how many there were in total that night? 2465 02:19:32,824 --> 02:19:34,910 192. 2466 02:19:36,161 --> 02:19:40,807 There were 192 coughs picked up on that recording 2467 02:19:40,832 --> 02:19:43,226 from all over the place. 2468 02:19:43,251 --> 02:19:47,606 Only they didn't fit the narrative, so they were left out. 2469 02:19:47,631 --> 02:19:53,653 You left them out of the famous Tape G. 2470 02:19:53,678 --> 02:19:56,781 Just edited, and re-edited, like a memory, 2471 02:19:56,806 --> 02:19:57,825 it's constantly changing. 2472 02:19:57,850 --> 02:20:01,494 We have to present to you what happened somehow, 2473 02:20:01,520 --> 02:20:03,038 on... in... in some form. 2474 02:20:03,063 --> 02:20:06,166 Yes, but this is your version of what happened. 2475 02:20:06,191 --> 02:20:08,627 The jury are looking where you want them to look. 2476 02:20:08,652 --> 02:20:14,507 The moment, for instance, when Mrs Ingram's coughing. 2477 02:20:14,533 --> 02:20:18,678 Now, that's not an accident that that's picked up on the master tape. 2478 02:20:18,703 --> 02:20:19,722 That is a choice. 2479 02:20:19,747 --> 02:20:24,935 It is a creative choice made by those who are editing it. 2480 02:20:24,960 --> 02:20:29,105 The volume of the 19 is raised, as you've acknowledged, 2481 02:20:29,130 --> 02:20:33,276 but if wanted the jury to hear them at their original volume, 2482 02:20:33,301 --> 02:20:35,362 well, I couldn't, could I? 2483 02:20:35,387 --> 02:20:39,532 Because your version is now the only version of events. 2484 02:20:39,558 --> 02:20:40,576 They had to be isolated 2485 02:20:40,601 --> 02:20:43,703 in the way that the Major would have heard them, 2486 02:20:43,728 --> 02:20:45,830 if he was listening out for them to replicate the experience. 2487 02:20:45,855 --> 02:20:51,002 Why don't you suspect Judith Keppel, the first millionaire, of cheating? 2488 02:20:51,027 --> 02:20:53,113 Why would I? Good question. 2489 02:20:55,198 --> 02:20:59,369 I will now play the Judith Keppel tape. 2490 02:21:01,454 --> 02:21:04,082 If you wouldn't mind turning to the television. 2491 02:21:05,625 --> 02:21:09,771 For £2,000 between Keppel choosing the right answers, 2492 02:21:09,796 --> 02:21:12,899 and committing to the final answer: 2493 02:21:12,924 --> 02:21:13,943 On his legs. 2494 02:21:13,968 --> 02:21:16,027 'Why would he put his chaps on his legs?' 2495 02:21:16,052 --> 02:21:18,113 To stop his legs getting rubbed. 2496 02:21:18,138 --> 02:21:22,284 A cough. Similarly, on the £4,000 question: 2497 02:21:22,309 --> 02:21:24,369 I think it's Aquarius. 2498 02:21:24,394 --> 02:21:26,454 What are you? What's your star sign? 2499 02:21:26,479 --> 02:21:30,625 A cough. Again, a cough on the £8,0000 question. 2500 02:21:30,650 --> 02:21:32,711 And the £64,000 question. 2501 02:21:32,736 --> 02:21:35,839 And on the 500,000. And on the million. 2502 02:21:35,864 --> 02:21:37,924 Now, I don't think she cheated. You don't. 2503 02:21:37,949 --> 02:21:38,968 Why do you think the Major cheated? 2504 02:21:38,993 --> 02:21:40,744 I know this game... 2505 02:21:42,120 --> 02:21:46,099 ..and I know how normal people play it. 2506 02:21:46,124 --> 02:21:50,437 And the Major did not play it normally, I could tell immediately. 2507 02:21:50,462 --> 02:21:54,607 Oh, really? What time did you arrive at the studio that night? 2508 02:21:54,633 --> 02:21:55,884 It was, um... 2509 02:21:57,761 --> 02:22:00,864 Well, OK, it was at the very end. I didn't actually see him play live. 2510 02:22:00,889 --> 02:22:02,949 Oh, so you arrived late at the studio, 2511 02:22:02,974 --> 02:22:05,035 you were told that something was wrong. 2512 02:22:05,060 --> 02:22:07,120 And you have pursued this doggedly ever since. 2513 02:22:07,145 --> 02:22:08,188 That's unfair. 2514 02:22:10,273 --> 02:22:11,292 Suspicions were raised. 2515 02:22:11,317 --> 02:22:13,376 I called the police and handed it over to them. 2516 02:22:13,401 --> 02:22:17,213 They investigated, and they decided to charge them. 2517 02:22:17,238 --> 02:22:20,675 And the jury will find them innocent or guilty, that's up to them. 2518 02:22:20,700 --> 02:22:23,828 It's not personal. Well, of course... 2519 02:22:24,871 --> 02:22:27,974 Of course it's personal. 2520 02:22:27,999 --> 02:22:30,085 This was my show. 2521 02:22:31,127 --> 02:22:32,170 It was my life. 2522 02:22:33,213 --> 02:22:36,316 And believe it or not, it mattered to me. 2523 02:22:36,341 --> 02:22:38,426 The people who enjoyed it. 2524 02:22:40,512 --> 02:22:42,781 And the people trying to ruin it. 2525 02:22:42,806 --> 02:22:44,657 I see. 2526 02:22:44,683 --> 02:22:48,186 Could you explain, then, the one gaping hole in this whole theory. 2527 02:22:49,896 --> 02:22:54,042 Could you explain the 18 minutes between the Craig David question 2528 02:22:54,067 --> 02:22:55,960 and the Baron Haussmann question, 2529 02:22:55,985 --> 02:22:57,737 when there are no significant coughs? 2530 02:22:59,280 --> 02:23:01,341 Well, because Mr Whittock didn't need to cough 2531 02:23:01,366 --> 02:23:03,493 on those other questions. Why not? 2532 02:23:05,537 --> 02:23:07,597 Well, because the Major knew the answer to those questions. 2533 02:23:07,622 --> 02:23:08,665 Oh, I see. 2534 02:23:09,708 --> 02:23:11,768 Oh, well, then, my final, final question, 2535 02:23:11,793 --> 02:23:13,853 and this is just a tiny little thing. 2536 02:23:13,878 --> 02:23:18,024 How did Tecwen Whittock know that Charles Ingram, 2537 02:23:18,049 --> 02:23:21,152 a man he'd never met, never communicated with... 2538 02:23:21,177 --> 02:23:23,446 So how did he know that Charles knew those answers, 2539 02:23:23,471 --> 02:23:26,391 and that he didn't need to cough? 2540 02:23:27,434 --> 02:23:29,519 I don't know. 2541 02:23:35,775 --> 02:23:36,901 But I know that he cheated. 2542 02:23:39,988 --> 02:23:43,450 I'm sorry for everything they've gone through, nobody wanted that. 2543 02:23:45,160 --> 02:23:48,638 But whether it's coughing, or blinking, or pagers, I know it. 2544 02:23:48,663 --> 02:23:50,373 I know it. 2545 02:23:51,416 --> 02:23:54,753 He came on my show, and he cheated. 2546 02:23:56,629 --> 02:24:01,317 Have you ever heard of this little thing called "confirmation bias"? 2547 02:24:01,342 --> 02:24:03,903 When an assumption sinks into the brain, 2548 02:24:03,928 --> 02:24:11,202 it rearranges and reorganises all facts to support the assumption. 2549 02:24:11,227 --> 02:24:13,288 Like on the show relay. 2550 02:24:13,313 --> 02:24:18,501 People, suspicious of a man from a strange family, talking together. 2551 02:24:18,526 --> 02:24:20,587 Something's weird. 2552 02:24:20,612 --> 02:24:22,505 On a loop. 2553 02:24:22,530 --> 02:24:23,715 He's a real dodgy one. 2554 02:24:23,740 --> 02:24:25,800 Yeah, I think this guy's cheating as well. 2555 02:24:25,825 --> 02:24:29,971 Now might that not have created a shared fiction, 2556 02:24:29,996 --> 02:24:32,056 which then everyone in the studio 2557 02:24:32,081 --> 02:24:37,295 subconsciously began to distort reality to match? 2558 02:24:39,380 --> 02:24:43,526 Isn't it strange that the only person not hooked up onto the loop, 2559 02:24:43,551 --> 02:24:45,612 Chris Tarrant, 2560 02:24:45,637 --> 02:24:49,824 is the only person not to have suspected a thing? 2561 02:24:49,849 --> 02:24:54,996 We're all guilty of it. We do it every day of our lives. 2562 02:24:55,021 --> 02:24:58,124 We adjust the world, and all the information, 2563 02:24:58,149 --> 02:25:01,252 in order to navigate our way through. 2564 02:25:01,277 --> 02:25:04,923 Take Mr Whittock's alleged cough. 2565 02:25:04,948 --> 02:25:07,717 "No," for example, which, incidentally, 2566 02:25:07,742 --> 02:25:10,637 could have come from any one of those contestants, 2567 02:25:10,662 --> 02:25:12,722 any one of those microphones. 2568 02:25:12,747 --> 02:25:17,936 It's just someone on hearing the Major hovering over a wrong answer, 2569 02:25:17,961 --> 02:25:22,131 muttering quite naturally to themselves, "No". 2570 02:25:23,174 --> 02:25:27,320 Raised to such a volume on the master tape, 2571 02:25:27,345 --> 02:25:30,448 it made you all guffaw at how obvious it was, 2572 02:25:30,473 --> 02:25:36,704 yet on the night, the two people who sat either side of Mr Whittock, 2573 02:25:36,729 --> 02:25:38,790 they didn't hear him say it. 2574 02:25:38,815 --> 02:25:41,918 The man who sat opposite the Major, Chris Tarrant, 2575 02:25:41,943 --> 02:25:43,670 he didn't hear him say it. 2576 02:25:43,695 --> 02:25:48,174 The 250 people in the studio audience, 2577 02:25:48,199 --> 02:25:52,345 none of them - none of them - when asked, heard him say it. 2578 02:25:52,370 --> 02:25:55,473 Yet miraculously the Major did? 2579 02:25:55,498 --> 02:25:58,601 A man who couldn't possibly know the answer to those questions, right? 2580 02:25:58,626 --> 02:26:00,186 Not a man with a degree in engineering 2581 02:26:00,211 --> 02:26:02,772 who knows what mega and a nano is. 2582 02:26:02,797 --> 02:26:05,733 A man who was accepted into Mensa 2583 02:26:05,758 --> 02:26:09,028 among the cleverest people in the country, 2584 02:26:09,053 --> 02:26:11,823 only he's too modest to mention it to anyone 2585 02:26:11,848 --> 02:26:16,327 so pinned a badge on his lapel, and hoped some of you might notice. 2586 02:26:16,352 --> 02:26:20,498 We are told he's a man who got carried away by a game. 2587 02:26:20,523 --> 02:26:22,584 Not a level-headed UN Peacekeeper 2588 02:26:22,609 --> 02:26:25,753 who rescued men from the battlefields of Bosnia. 2589 02:26:25,778 --> 02:26:29,882 No, you're being asked to believe that he and his wife cooked up 2590 02:26:29,908 --> 02:26:33,011 a conspiracy on a phone call which lasted eight minutes 2591 02:26:33,036 --> 02:26:36,139 with a stranger they'd never met to cough their way to a million 2592 02:26:36,164 --> 02:26:39,292 with an accomplice with a diagnosed cough. 2593 02:26:40,335 --> 02:26:42,395 The fact is, 2594 02:26:42,420 --> 02:26:46,566 it will be entirely impossible to categorically prove 2595 02:26:46,591 --> 02:26:50,737 that Charles Ingram did not know the answers to those questions. 2596 02:26:50,762 --> 02:26:53,890 Because we cannot get inside here. 2597 02:26:55,642 --> 02:26:56,993 His head. 2598 02:26:57,018 --> 02:27:00,121 We just can't know. 2599 02:27:00,146 --> 02:27:05,335 And therefore you cannot find him guilty beyond reasonable doubt. 2600 02:27:42,897 --> 02:27:43,956 On the charge of 2601 02:27:43,982 --> 02:27:48,086 procuring the execution of a valuable security by deception, 2602 02:27:48,111 --> 02:27:51,214 do you find the defendant, Tecwen Whittock, 2603 02:27:51,239 --> 02:27:53,299 guilty or not guilty? 2604 02:27:53,324 --> 02:27:55,385 Guilty. 2605 02:27:57,328 --> 02:28:02,684 On the same charge, do you find the defendant, Diana Ingram, 2606 02:28:02,709 --> 02:28:05,003 guilty or not guilty? 2607 02:28:07,755 --> 02:28:08,940 Guilty. 2608 02:28:10,009 --> 02:28:15,738 On the same charge, do you find the defendant, Charles Ingram, 2609 02:28:15,763 --> 02:28:17,682 guilty or not guilty? 2610 02:28:18,725 --> 02:28:20,643 Guilty. 2611 02:28:23,563 --> 02:28:26,666 This has been a most unusual and exceptional case. 2612 02:28:26,691 --> 02:28:28,751 Frankly, one is hard-pressed to find anything 2613 02:28:28,776 --> 02:28:32,588 about the circumstances of this case that is not exceptional. 2614 02:28:32,613 --> 02:28:36,050 A crime of this nature normally carries with it 2615 02:28:36,075 --> 02:28:39,203 a sentence of a significant number of years in prison. 2616 02:28:40,246 --> 02:28:45,460 I sentence you to 18 months in prison, suspended for two years. 2617 02:28:47,545 --> 02:28:50,481 So that's it? We're free to go? 2618 02:28:50,506 --> 02:28:52,734 If we're guilty, why aren't we going to jail? 2619 02:28:52,759 --> 02:28:57,947 Well, maybe these days, justice just has to be "seen" to be done. 2620 02:28:57,972 --> 02:29:01,075 More than it actually has to be. 2621 02:29:01,100 --> 02:29:03,186 Don't question it. 2622 02:29:04,228 --> 02:29:05,813 Go and live your lives. 2623 02:29:11,569 --> 02:29:14,630 I'll have to resign my commission. 2624 02:29:14,655 --> 02:29:16,716 It's all right. It doesn't matter. 2625 02:29:16,741 --> 02:29:18,801 It does matter. It matters to me. It's who I am. 2626 02:29:18,826 --> 02:29:20,912 What did Chris Tarrant say at the end of the show? 2627 02:29:22,997 --> 02:29:26,667 "What a man. Quite an amazing man". 2628 02:29:30,671 --> 02:29:32,381 Are you ready? 2629 02:29:53,778 --> 02:29:56,172 I have got nothing to say, guys. Really. 2630 02:29:56,197 --> 02:29:57,448 There's nothing more to say. 2631 02:30:03,663 --> 02:30:08,851 And my newspaper is prepared to pay £675,000 2632 02:30:08,876 --> 02:30:10,962 for you to confess to us exclusively. 2633 02:30:15,133 --> 02:30:18,236 I think, er, just the photo. Thanks. 2634 02:30:18,261 --> 02:30:19,303 Big smile. 2635 02:30:20,555 --> 02:30:24,492 'A Martin Bashir documentary on the "Coughing Major" 2636 02:30:24,517 --> 02:30:27,620 'received a record breaking audience for ITV.' 2637 02:30:27,645 --> 02:30:31,791 The highest-rated factual programme, since the funeral of Princess Diana. 2638 02:30:40,158 --> 02:30:43,286 '..Tony Blair is blaming the IRA.' Come on. Time for bed. 2639 02:30:46,414 --> 02:30:48,499 Yep, up in a sec. 2640 02:31:01,012 --> 02:31:04,140 So, come on, then. What's the answer? 2641 02:31:06,225 --> 02:31:08,286 After all that. 2642 02:31:08,311 --> 02:31:12,481 Tell us. It's killing me.